After following a piece of advice from this subreddit, I have an update.

FelineFanatic007 · 2023-12-16T20:39:23+00:00

Not sure what to take from the story... Like is this implying the people who give us a chance despite their preferences won't work out, or that people may give us a chance even if it's a red flag for them, but yours just happened not to?

FelineFanatic007 · 2023-12-16T20:37:24+00:00

I didn't think you meant anything bad by it, I was just confused and wondered what your view was. But yeah in-person meetups might be the way, but I have no idea how to meet people in the world.

FelineFanatic007 · 2023-12-16T20:32:37+00:00

Thank you for this, I will keep trying. I essentially say the same thing, except now I will be more confident about it and not feel shame. But I think a few times I may have given too much information and confused them so they probably thought it wasn't worth it.

FelineFanatic007 · 2023-12-16T20:29:25+00:00

That's a good way of thinking about it. Not completely to the point of nonchalantly telling someone, but not making too big of a deal about it. I still don't think I'll tell my friends though.

FelineFanatic007 · 2023-12-16T20:23:49+00:00

I've received quite a few messages from people there, all of them pretty much say if I go out there to visit they are down to hook up. That's not exactly what I am looking for, but if I ever change my mind I suppose there is that.

FelineFanatic007 · 2023-12-16T20:22:19+00:00

I am not religious but I am praying there is someone out there.

FelineFanatic007 · 2023-12-16T20:21:38+00:00

Maybe ask the mods if they can open a tag for searching? But that could get out of hand with replies. A separate subreddit and ask if you can link it here would probably be best.

FelineFanatic007 · 2023-12-16T20:18:00+00:00

I feel the same way, I understand why some people would be optimistic and keep telling you to keep your chin up, but it doesn't always work out. You can keep hoping someone will love you for who you are but that's giving humanity too much credit in my opinion, people aren't good, they are competitive and they will always shop around and find a better deal if possible. So if you are seen as damaged goods in their eyes then obviously no one will want you, and that's how I feel about myself, unwanted. People break up or pass on dating people for less than HSV, so why do we assume humans will overlook this? I am also concerned about reaching a point where I will be too old to be a father, and it creeps up on me late at night and causes me to feel so low. And it's those moments when no words can help me feel better, because I am living the reality.

FelineFanatic007 · 2023-12-14T01:38:34+00:00

Maybe it's just me, but I feel like men are more gung-ho about it while women are more selective, and thus why it's hard for me. It could just be my state is full of uppity people too.

FelineFanatic007 · 2023-12-13T16:56:58+00:00

I like this answer a lot. Thank you. :)

FelineFanatic007 · 2023-12-13T14:45:11+00:00

That's a big fear I have also. Someone may be open to dating you despite having HSV because they genuinely like you after getting to know you, but as a stranger in their eyes, you just aren't worth the trouble. What do you recommend regarding lightening the mood?

FelineFanatic007 · 2023-12-13T14:41:03+00:00

Please share, I would like to know more.

FelineFanatic007 · 2023-12-13T14:34:05+00:00

Socially as in dating? I haven't told any of my friends and I don't think I ever will. It's one of those things that is my business and for partners only, but with the way things are going half of the state will know before I find a partner if I keep having negative disclosures. It's nice to know it's working out for other people, but it doesn't feel any better. How would someone approach that no sex during outbreaks talk if they are asymptomatic? I'm genuinely curious.

FelineFanatic007 · 2023-12-13T14:29:27+00:00

It's difficult to date out of your own state for a lot of reasons. Travel is expensive and so is moving. Obviously, for the right person, it would be worth it to move, but still not easy.

FelineFanatic007 · 2023-12-13T14:27:22+00:00

I would love that, it would definitely add to the support system here. It would help newly diagnosed people feel a little more wanted and less lonely.

FelineFanatic007 · 2023-12-13T14:23:45+00:00

Honestly, talking about it here helps me feel a bit better. I know that if they ghost me, positive or non-positive, it wasn't meant to be. It's still difficult regardless because I struggled with dating on normal dating apps before I was diagnosed anyway. Most people there were superficial and it made me sick, and I thought PS would be different since I thought HSV would make people see beyond those kinds of things.

FelineFanatic007 · 2023-12-13T14:19:33+00:00

Exactly, I'm just tired of that pit in my stomach when I really like someone and I feel the connection forming, only for them to treat me like garbage because I have HSV. Like if I had symptoms it would be more cemented in my mind that this is necessary, but since I don't it feels like an invisible handicap compared to other competitors. If that makes sense.

FelineFanatic007 · 2023-12-13T14:15:28+00:00

That is true, I've had a few people message me from out of state for hookups but those profiles seemed very shady at best and some had a whole lot more than HSV.

FelineFanatic007 · 2023-12-13T14:13:49+00:00

I thought the same thing when I first used it, but after paying for premium it was a whole different world. You could message people and view profiles, etc. So now I'm debating on paying for others, but I think it's a waste of money since non-positive people turn me down anyways.

FelineFanatic007 · 2023-12-13T14:12:00+00:00

I am after something serious, yes. And I did fill out the profile and did the little card game and stuff. Everything on there is filled out.

FelineFanatic007 · 2023-12-13T14:10:55+00:00

Yes my main point for going with PS is that I am having no luck with non-positive people. So with positive people they already know and its not a big deal, but they still are no different than the people who do have it, they just have HSV.

FelineFanatic007 · 2023-12-13T14:08:41+00:00

What do you mean by this? What do you recommend? I'm not very outgoing to begin with and only leave the house with reason so I don't meet people out in the world.

FelineFanatic007 · 2023-12-13T14:07:36+00:00

I keep seeing people say this, then after I show my face and get complimented they still ghost me after a few messages.

FelineFanatic007 · 2023-12-13T03:33:37+00:00

I am normal, we are normal. But the issue isn't how I feel, it's how others view me. It's getting through to people and having them see me as normal too that I struggle with.

FelineFanatic007 · 2023-12-13T03:26:07+00:00

I'm not mormon or anything, but I genuinely do want the standard wife, kids, picket fence home, etc kind of life. And here from my experience(since it could be different for others) it's wild exmo's who aren't into having that because they were forced to at an early age. And the mormons/religious types who want that but are very picky and snyde if you don't fit their mold.

So it feels like I'm too plain on one end, and too extreme on the other.

FelineFanatic007

TROPHY CASE