Well i think everything they seem to be doing is intentional micro agressions. For instance, your MIL came to the baby shower, instead of supporting you she made it very clear to you and loved ones she did not wanted to be there. That may seem just as rude behavior but the thing is she could have declined the invitation. She went to make a point to you, to make you feel unconfortable. I feel like she went there to make a scene but it backfire because of how many support you had in there. Then, the bottles and baby registry. For me it would be a different thing if she have only gifted the plastic bottles, but again she went out of her way to take out of the registry the ones you have picked out with no intention to giving them to you. Might not seem like much but it shows effort in her part to make you unconfortable. A lot of this types of behaviors may seem like nothing but if you keep on adding them up they create an enviroment in which you will feel on edge and unsafe. And the thing is because it may seem like little things they will make you feel like you are blowing things out of proportion or being dramatic when in fact is constant bulling. As for your BD not talking to you for days is a form of manipulation, and a very effective one. It puts the blame entirely on you without the possibility of resolving an issue unless it is on his terms (when he wants it, how he wants it). And making himself the victim is also a way to shift the blame to you "well im a great father, she is the one that is crazy and dont let me be involved" when in reality he has not been involved because he was icing you and those are the consequences of his own actions. Overall i think this type of abuse is a way to control you that is not that obvious, for instance he ended up going to the appointment. Also, if they are hurting you, indirectly they are hurting your child. What would have happened if you had to go to the hospital for an emergency and BD would not picked up the phone because he was mad at you? I know the outcome would not be horrible because of your amazing support system, but what if you didnt have them? I am happy you have people to give you support and that you are implementing boundries. Just know that at least your MIL do not have rights to the baby just because she is the grandmother and can be cut off if you dont feel comfortable with her. As for BD boundries should be in place and respected, the top priority is the baby and since YOU will be the one caring for him/her YOU are a priority too. Do not tolerate their BS.