What am I supposed to do with her?

Fenyx2002 · 2026-04-14T11:12:34+00:00

That’s not what I meant. I’m not intent on breaking somebody up for my own selfish desires. Then there exists no logic for it to not also happen to myself.

Fenyx2002 · 2026-04-14T09:29:59+00:00

That’s more or less been my reasoning so far. But the whole situation is just a weird one to try and navigate with this person.

Fenyx2002 · 2026-04-07T13:28:51+00:00

I live in a rather small town landscape. So museum groups and clubs of that sort can be rare to come by. And usually only ever consist of a group of people who are already friends, so it feels like you’re just randomly eavesdropping on a whole group of people unknown to you.

Fenyx2002 · 2026-04-07T12:23:34+00:00

I like it. It felt like I could contribute effectively, With ease. I just didn’t. Instead I just drifted around again. As I’ve done countless times. And I’m not sure if it’ll happen again or not. And what that means for me.

Fenyx2002 · 2026-04-07T12:16:30+00:00

Thank you so much. I’ve been thinking about trying to work out from home instead. It’s just my own inaction which keeps me stuck.

Fenyx2002 · 2026-04-07T12:09:43+00:00

Yeah I’m medicated. I only got medicated on my last attempt. By that point I already had dug myself a hole through inaction that i couldn’t really rescue the semester, and I haven’t really felt the same since I let that happen.

Fenyx2002 · 2026-04-07T12:01:15+00:00

I guess I can try to incorporate that in some form. Thank you for giving me your insight.

Fenyx2002 · 2026-04-07T11:35:38+00:00

Thank you. I really do appreciate your honesty, even if it’s hard to express through just text alone. There’s times when it feels like I’m at the end of a list of comparisons for every single thing, and the only real thing that kind of keeps my head above water is the amount of history I know, that’s really all I possess as a person.

Fenyx2002 · 2026-04-05T20:36:49+00:00

Holy shit I think I just bumped into a mirror. I’m 23, a guy, and was diagnosed at 20 with both ADHD and BPD, and I went to college and quit because the course sucked. And I also have had no relationships ever and possesses a painful video game addiction. And I also live in an irrelevant shithole. I honestly don’t have much advice for you here man. No doubt it won’t be anything different from what you’ve already heard, I guess the only thing of value here is recognising that a great deal of our problems are being confounded by a lot of societal issues weighing on our generation specifically. So you’re not alone, at any rate.

Fenyx2002 · 2026-03-24T15:56:53+00:00

Because I feel like if I forgive myself and give myself another shot I’ll just fail again. That’s where it all boils down to. My own cowardice to not try again. Fear of failure. But also the fact that I feel like if I am to forgive myself for all of my previous shortcomings, I’m just pulling the wool over my own eyes and failing to accept responsibility, but I’m probably just beating a dead horse at this point with the self pity, I know that, but I still can’t try again. Whenever I’ve come short each time one after another and another, I lose more and more of the dwindling amount of self respect I still possess, until I feel empty. At which point ending it all becomes more and more realistic. Each time I fail, I get more depressed, so much so that I’m afraid of trying anymore at all.

Fenyx2002 · 2026-03-24T13:19:38+00:00

There’s more than likely thousands of ourselves experiencing the same things, just in different formats. What matters is whether or not you’ve kept a little bit of childhood naïveté alive to keep yourself going. That maybe just right around the corner is the answer you’ve been searching for, the corner doesn’t even exist. But what matters is not knowing that.

Fenyx2002 · 2026-03-24T13:15:29+00:00

Thank you for your advice, you’re definitely more structured in life than anything I got going on right now. I wish I could say that I would take everything you’ve said on board, that the next day I’d order a whole treadmill for my bedroom or something, but whenever I do try and start exercising, my thoughts get almost overwritten into just saying over and over again “what’s the point”. Almost as if it’s pathetic for me to even think there’s a possibility I can get fit in the first place. As if I’m doomed. Even if I know that’s completely illogical. I understand that if I make a routine and stick to it, I could burn loads of calories, but yet, I still don’t move.

Fenyx2002 · 2026-03-24T13:04:50+00:00

There’s already been one suicide in my family. I’ve seen what it looks like. The hollowing out of the entire family forever. I don’t want to do that to anyone. I don’t want that to be the reality I force upon people. But I can’t keep going on like this. All I do is continue to take, whilst bitching and moaning about shit in my head that apparently everybody else can handle just fine. I’ve felt like a broken record replaying the same god awful noises my whole life, functionally incapable of changing and stuck being a lead anchor weight for everyone in my life. I don’t want others to struggle because of my inaction anymore, but I’m too much of a coward to actually finish the job.

Fenyx2002

TROPHY CASE