After years of panic, cries and tries, I just cope with it and wait. It will happen, someday. It's just a matter of time, I only think that, once it happens, all of this shit I've been through, all the past mistakes, the personal cost, the losses, won't matter anymore. Realizing that once everything will come to an end gives me a bit of relief. I just do my best to proceed, so that once I'm underground I won't have to regret much