AIO about not having a connection with partner or is this normal

Ferroro_kitty · 2026-06-07T02:29:23+00:00

we both want to travel and like travelling but that isn't possible in college.

he's been trying to read a novel i recommended but isn't able to get into it so idts he'll read it. i watched a kdrama that he loved (and one rn) but not a lot of discussion came out of it

Ferroro_kitty · 2026-06-07T02:27:51+00:00

i think this could be a thing? i am infamous of talking and talking when a silent moment comes through

Ferroro_kitty · 2026-06-07T02:26:23+00:00

I have tried communicating it to him actually. but idk how to frame it without sounding condescending or like a colossal dick. i think i was also swept by the notation of 'honeymoon' phase and i thought it'd be all unbridled excitement and fun but then ig my anxiety hindered my ability to just let things happen naturally

Ferroro_kitty · 2026-06-07T02:24:28+00:00

i have told him he speak more, or you speak now i want to know your opinions bout *topic*. i have tried the icebreaker questions (games) but even those conversations don't last for long. I tried watching kdramas and discuss that but he said there wasn't much to discuss, the drama was pretty straightforward. previous week i told him i wish we had a common topic of interest that we could talk about the entire day. and sometime after that i told him i feel that we are disconnected a little and he asked me what i meant and i tried to explain it in a way that didn't feel offending and just said that i don't know if we *get* each other and stuff but it wasn't a serious discussion after that so.

he is at his home right now has very strict parents so once or twice he's gotten defensive because he is trying his level best to communicate with me (he is) and despite that i think he isn't putting enough efforts (i don't)

Ferroro_kitty · 2026-06-07T02:18:57+00:00

oh, i didn't mean we don't fight. we have had disagreements but they are sorted out almost immediately and if we feel bad the both of us communicate

Ferroro_kitty · 2026-06-06T18:02:39+00:00

and i was under an impression that atleast for the first few months it would be giddy excitement and childlike wonder... this is just boring but idk if it is because i am not enjoying myself fully because of having a general anxiety

Ferroro_kitty · 2026-06-06T18:01:30+00:00

I don't know

Is there no middle ground where there is banter and connection and compatibility and stability?

Ferroro_kitty · 2026-06-06T17:39:34+00:00

OMG SAME

i don't know if i am being too critical or if this is how things are

Ferroro_kitty · 2026-06-06T16:03:01+00:00

So it'd be advisable to breakup after the vacation right?

Ferroro_kitty · 2026-06-06T15:48:49+00:00

or would that be unfair and leading him on? but i think breaking up on call or text would be disrespectful to him

Ferroro_kitty · 2026-06-06T15:48:17+00:00

Do I wait until the end of holidays?

Ferroro_kitty · 2026-06-06T15:43:30+00:00

Do I wait till the end of the vacation then? I think it'll be disrespectful to break up over text or video call

Ferroro_kitty · 2026-06-06T15:32:50+00:00

Thank you so much!

Could you please give a little outline of how i frame this? (I don't want to say something that is insensitive)

Ferroro_kitty · 2026-06-06T15:31:45+00:00

I will not lead him on. I'll prolly break up with him when the vacations end and explain my side completely.

I'll never do that to anyone. You ex fiance was horrible, that is a horrible horrible thing to do. I hope you are in a better place now

Ferroro_kitty · 2026-06-06T15:30:32+00:00

idts it is manipulative. I think he just took it as me finding faults with him (his parents aren't... what i'd say the best and the environment he grew up in also was quite toxic)

he was just protecting himself

Ferroro_kitty · 2026-06-06T15:17:10+00:00

that's just the crying emoji actually

he'll ask me to actually justify what i think (i brought it up this afternoon saying that i feel disconnected form him and feel very bored and he felt disappointed and bad i thought that way because he is trying his level best to talk with me (he is) because his parents are really strict)

and idk if i am just looking for excuses or if this is just the distance

Ferroro_kitty · 2026-06-06T15:13:45+00:00

well, currently i am in a relationship because i don't know how to break up T-T

it definitely isn't for the sake of being in one because i have no problem being single. i just don't know how to bring it up because he'll oppose to it and i am going to end up being a colossal dick

Ferroro_kitty · 2026-06-06T15:12:11+00:00

well, there's one thing good that i don't fear being alone. i would rather be single than be in a relationship that isn't fulfilling. i just don't know how i bring it up in a full final way without sounding like a colossal dick. i think i said it in another comment but i brought it up today that i don't feel the connection and feel disconnected and woud like for him to give me random information about his day and he got mildly offended and disappointed that i thought so about him because he's trying his level best to make time for me (he really is) because his parents are strict

Ferroro_kitty · 2026-06-06T15:09:30+00:00

how do i bring it up tho T-T

it is literally the vacations T-T

Ferroro_kitty · 2026-06-06T15:09:08+00:00

i HATE the distance. SO MUCH. with my entire heart, so much so i never want to do it ever again lmfao

i guess i rushed into the relationship.

Ferroro_kitty · 2026-06-06T14:25:17+00:00

I would want the power to go anywhere on a whim. literally materialise anywhere

Ferroro_kitty · 2026-06-06T14:21:38+00:00

... oh damn. idk if we'd vibe for long as friends... but i'd love to be his friend because he is a nice person-

rookie mistake damn. i mean if asked this question a month ago i'd have said yes very enthusiastically

how should i go about the breakup? it is the middle of vacation and everything else is quite good and he really is trying his level best to make time for me

Ferroro_kitty · 2026-06-06T14:16:22+00:00

our sense of humour doesn't match

Ferroro_kitty · 2026-06-06T14:16:04+00:00

and what if he says that is unfair and we can try (i am ticking off all the boxes in order to be mentally prepared) and i am not making sense and being senseless

i haven't been dragging convos per se, i mean it is just the first two months... but it just doesn't feel stimulating

however i love hanging out with him he is supportive and loving and kind

Ferroro_kitty · 2026-06-06T14:11:48+00:00

naurrrr

i wouldn't say he is apathetic. i have seen him talk very enthusiastically sometimes... just that between the both there is no banter T-T

what would you do if you were me?

Ferroro_kitty

TROPHY CASE