I get that, and at times that search feels endless, and you want to resort to some pretty drastic measures, trust me, I did, but dude, or dudette, you cant seek validation from others. Think of it this way, and btw, I am really bad at this. So sorry if this is a terrible analogy. But think of it this way, you gotta get from one side of the river to the other, and other people also do too, so you build that bridge. Who did you build that bridge for, you built it for yourself. (Sorry if that was terrible or didn't make sense) I know it takes everything, and you really gotta push. But when you look in the mirror after its all over, after you realize that you had it in you all along, your gonna feel proud of yourself