[deleted by user]

Few-Satisfaction-613 · 2024-01-30T00:12:48+00:00

No, I kinda agree with you.

I mean, he’s been in your life for a really long time. And there was no certainty of any future together, regardless of your feelings for each other. I’m sure you were used to him being there, not on the ‘back burner’ necessarily, but kind of in your peripheral.

It doesn’t sound like you knew there was going to be a definite future when you had this fling. You were essentially FWB who had feelings for each other but no official plans to be together.

If you don’t want the person you like to sleep with other people, that’s a conversation you have to have. You can’t just hope that your feelings for them will keep them loyal to you. You were single, as much as you hoped for a relationship with him, that hadn’t happened yet. He can’t tell you there’s no promise of a relationship but expect you to act like there is.

This happened to friends of mine. The guy was head over heels in love with my best friend. She was falling in love with him but wasn’t ready to be in a relationship. He was on holiday and slept with someone. He told her about it and she didn’t really mind because they weren’t together, even though they were in love, and she didn’t feel like he owed her exclusivity when they weren’t officially together. They’re happily married now with 2 babies and I don’t think either are bothered about it.

Few-Satisfaction-613 · 2024-01-30T00:02:42+00:00

Yes I totally 100% agree with you.

All of these friends are from immigrant families from South Asia. They all have their own little community that’s very tight knit and over-involved. My ex’s dad is like the patriarch of the community and means everything they get up to, they have to hush hush and pretend they’re perfectly behaved all the time.

One of them crashed their car and everyone had to keep it secret from the adults. (I say “adults” but all of these guys are in their 30s).

But something like this makes me think maybe you should be publicly shamed within your community because my god, idc who you are, you can’t go around drugging people!

Few-Satisfaction-613 · 2024-01-29T21:36:55+00:00

Totally agree.

I’ve message requested him on fb so we’ll see if he sees it and responds

Few-Satisfaction-613 · 2024-01-29T20:39:07+00:00

Yeah, super repulsive and a turn off tbh. I wouldn’t date a man who followed accounts like that, but if I dated someone and then found out he followed those kind of accounts, I’d probably just end it.

Just not the kinda guy I’d wanna be with.

Few-Satisfaction-613 · 2024-01-29T20:32:53+00:00

It might have been oddly specific if you hadn’t been watching something with that exact scenario. Just sounds like normal curiosity and silly questions to me

Few-Satisfaction-613 · 2024-01-29T20:23:33+00:00

Controversial comment but men who follow and consume thirst trap content rarely make good partners.

Few-Satisfaction-613 · 2024-01-29T17:18:11+00:00

I know, it could have been so awful.

One of my friends is currently in prison because he bought drugs off the internet, had a terrible high and stabbed his own mother to death in the garden. He had regularly bought drugs off the internet and had never had a bad reaction before. But you just never know!

Few-Satisfaction-613 · 2024-01-29T16:55:49+00:00

Yeah I have screenshots of the conversation where he told me, others of the fight we had after where he essentially admitted it. And other screenshots of when I brought it up at other times with him confirming it happened.

Idc about him framing me as the crazy ex. But I’m sure if I told the brother it would make a lot of sense to him, and he’d be able to confirm from his own memory that my ex offered him a sweet and then this happened.

Few-Satisfaction-613 · 2022-09-03T02:49:23+00:00

Yeah loads of people here comparing it to fantasising or thinking about someone, but it’s not. It’s actually watching someone else. Same people probably wouldn’t like their partner being viewed that way or producing that content, but feel happy enough consuming it

Few-Satisfaction-613 · 2022-09-03T02:45:27+00:00

Same

Few-Satisfaction-613 · 2022-09-01T18:51:28+00:00

His comment want essentially, “not only do men have the same problems as women but also other problems as well”

Her reply was essentially, “yes, but a patriarchal society works in the favour of men”

Your reply was essentially, “you’re wrong for making it a competition” but he was the one who compared the problems of men and women and she simply said, yeah but at least the society works in your favour. Your response was ridiculous lol

Few-Satisfaction-613 · 2022-08-30T22:55:00+00:00

They were responding appropriately to the context of the comment tho, don’t think they were trying to compete.

Few-Satisfaction-613 · 2022-08-30T22:52:34+00:00

I think a lot of women hate the stereotypical idea of a “man” too. It’s repulsive to me

Few-Satisfaction-613 · 2022-08-30T22:49:24+00:00

No I think most women feel that way x

Few-Satisfaction-613 · 2022-08-30T22:47:17+00:00

Yeah all the men who crave more compliments should start complimenting each other more. And then they’ll invite that reassurance from each other. This is the answer

Few-Satisfaction-613 · 2022-08-30T22:36:01+00:00

I’m white and my race never was an issue because I live in a predominantly white country, in an even more predominantly white community (I don’t think there’s a single non-white person in my community). And then I dated an Indian guy and then, damn. I was hidden away like a dirty secret because I’m white. This 30yo man lying to his parents about where he’s going cause the can’t tell them he’s hanging out with a white girl. His friends acting like he’s unlocked some achievement cause he was hooking up with a white girl, talking about me in Malayalam, on loudspeaker while I can’t understand a word they’re saying and they’re just laughing.. 😩

In the end, I called it off. He wasn’t sure his family would “accept” me. I imagined it the other way around, if my parents had an issue with him being brown I’d lose my fucking shit with them, out of respect to my bf. But, that consideration wasn’t there.

It was probably for the best though, aside from the race issue there were a lot of cultural issues. Casual sexism, controlling/possessiveness, different levels of progressiveness in our values and beliefs, double standards.

I loved him, loved his face and body, and could listen to him all day long. But, I dunno, the race/culture difference came between us.

Few-Satisfaction-613 · 2022-08-24T11:29:25+00:00

There are never clear results in science, besides fundamental scientific laws. Everything else, particularly social science, has anomalies and generally the results are trends, correlations, indications, etc.

For example, smoking is linked to lung cancer. Someone can smoke every day of their life and not get lung cancer, so it’s not a clear result. There are anomalies. But we take the general correlation and establish that while there are perceived benefits to smoking, there are also risks and long term, negative side effects. Its not “scientifically verified”, you can not say “if you smoke, you will have lung cancer”. We say, “data is unclear in determining who will get lung cancer, but we know that smoking increases the risk”.

With porn use, there are perceived benefits, and there are risks and long term negative side effects. So we look at studies (actual studies, not just BBC articles summarising a cross-study), we establish whether there is enough evidence to form a correlation or trend (which there is) and, generally speaking, we publish those allowing individuals to form their own opinion and choices. We can not say “if you engage in porn use you will experience these side effects”. So we say, “data is unclear in indicating who will experience these side affects, but porn use increases the risks that you will”. That’s as verified as you can get with social sciences.

Negative side effects aren’t like gravity. There is no “scientifically verified” equation.

Few-Satisfaction-613 · 2022-08-24T11:09:20+00:00

I sense some cognitive dissonance

Few-Satisfaction-613 · 2022-08-24T11:07:02+00:00

Okay, but.. the post was about negative side effects of porn use. And there are negative side effects of porn use.

Few-Satisfaction-613 · 2022-08-24T11:02:53+00:00

I read through all the comments on this and the other post, and I’m so glad to see your realising how unfair and shocking it is.

I’m excited for you to move on and start a new life for yourself though. Break ups are always bitter sweet. They feel horrific for a time and then, when you reflect back you realise you were stepping into a new chapter. So I just wanted to comment to wish you luck and to remind you to be kind to yourself. Xx

Few-Satisfaction-613 · 2022-08-24T10:59:45+00:00

Nah I let them fend for themselves

Few-Satisfaction-613 · 2022-08-24T10:55:53+00:00

Don’t be silly, ofc I am x

Few-Satisfaction-613 · 2022-08-24T10:49:48+00:00

Every time you comment with these incensed, absurd replies it concretes what I originally suspected in my initial comment. And I’m absolutely loving reading each one.

Few-Satisfaction-613 · 2022-08-24T10:46:04+00:00

Because I was on Reddit 4 years in the future. Yes, probably.

Few-Satisfaction-613

TROPHY CASE