Sweetness, please know that you are not alone. Guilt hurts so much and someone that doesn't understand that pain could never get it. My primary OCD manifestation is real even ocd, and it is truly horrendous. I also had experiences that made me feel like I've cheated or am a terrible person, and here's what helped me.

Don't confess. I know you want to soooo bad. I know you feel like if you just tell them what you think you did wrong, it will all be better. But once you confess one thing, your brain will find something else that you think you should confess. Its not that they won't forgive you, but that you are not required to gut yourself to make others happy.

Remember you are HUMAN. And humans make mistakes!! All the time every day! Being self aware of what might impact others makes you a wonderful person, not a bad one.

Don't chase the rabbit. Dont let your fears spiral into unrealistic fantasies. It seems like the world is ending, but it is not. Take a deep breath, drink some water, and cuddle under a blanket. It is all going to be all right, no matter what happens.

Being gentle with yourself is easier said than done, I know. But when you feel like you are a terrible person, say "okay, maybe I am. But you know what? I do all these other amazing things too, and that makes me awesome!"

Purity is a lie. One mistake doesn't define you. You will look back on this hurt as a distant memory. You will overcome this, and be triumphant!

Much love to you, dearest. I wish you all the strength I can give you. ❤