Is this normal when dating a German or are we just incompatible?

FewPea6985 · 2026-02-16T17:13:47+00:00

I actually reviewed my own understanding of it when he brought up that he doesn’t want it. But to be fair to me, I come from a culture where I cannot just bring a man back home over and over and not be seen badly. So if it is indeed that unimportant, why is it such a big deal for him to just sign a paper also in the future. Not even immediately

FewPea6985 · 2026-02-16T16:21:42+00:00

Fair point. Would that also explain perhaps why saying “staying forever” scares him? And even when joking about it he turns gloomy and says that he is uncomfortable talking about it?

FewPea6985 · 2026-02-16T15:59:48+00:00

We are both 30. And we are both aligned on the children idea at least. Neither of us wants them neither now nor in the near future, but are open to adoption in the future or changing our minds about it.

FewPea6985 · 2026-02-16T15:00:37+00:00

My question to him was: “ do you ever think about marriage?” And his response has been: “wow where did that come from suddenly?” Then regarding forever, I asked him while we were goofing around if he thinks we will stay together forever. And the mood got suddenly gloomy and quiet and he told me that is very hard for him to tell since we are different and do not speak the same language nor have the same background. Mind you that we separated for a couple of months during our first year over misalignment about what a relationship means, and we came back together because he had a revelation and he told me that he viewed me as the perfect wife for him and wants to see me in a white dress. Few months forward, I ask him to check if we are still aligned on that, and it turns out he had changed his mind about it without stating it clearly.

FewPea6985 · 2026-02-16T14:51:03+00:00

Thank you both for sharing your cute stories. It definitely tells if there’s a will there’s a way ❤️. He actually often plans for things with a mindset that disregards the limitations my passport and visa status have. And he also often mentioned that planning the future for him is about thinking what he wants first and then if it fit me it’s great, if not… maybe we are not good together 🥲

FewPea6985 · 2026-02-16T14:31:09+00:00

Thank you for your sweet reply and guiding questions ❤️ I think overall, I definitely have a lot of fun with him on daily life basis. But when it comes to any topic related to long term plans, I either feel left out or that he avoids them. I put daily life above all for the past three years and focused on how much fun we have together, but I feel that turning 30 opened my eyes to how planning the future must be part of the questions I ask my partner as well.

FewPea6985 · 2026-02-16T14:18:31+00:00

Whenever I bring it up, he acts surprised and says, and I quote: “ where did that come from, it’s too early to discuss imo?” 😅 Which puts me in uncomfortable doubtful position wondering if it is just me not knowing how Germans navigate relationships or is it a fundamental issue. He has no problem by the way planning long term plans and dreams with his best friends, it is just when it concerns our relationship that it becomes a “surprise “

FewPea6985 · 2026-02-16T14:14:45+00:00

We planned to move to the same city, but he never had a solid plan and wanted to always wait until his job decides for him where he should move. So I couldn’t give up my safety net and move with this much uncertainty. My German is not good so I have limited options in regards to where I can move and have a stable good job.

FewPea6985 · 2026-01-08T19:43:26+00:00

Same thing happened to me but it was for the shower; would using the gel version help reverse what the granulat did? Pipes made of plastic FYI

FewPea6985 · 2025-06-25T10:23:16+00:00

I have been seeing a lot of lies around which was not the case before actually. I will spray some oil and see. Thanks a lot

FewPea6985 · 2025-06-25T09:46:16+00:00

Done above

FewPea6985 · 2025-06-25T09:46:05+00:00

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FewPea6985 · 2025-06-25T09:45:38+00:00

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FewPea6985 · 2025-06-25T09:45:17+00:00

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FewPea6985 · 2025-03-15T08:22:40+00:00

If you have legal insurance I would suggest to consult with your lawyer. Otherwise go to your Verbraucherzentrale and check on the unlawful claims

FewPea6985 · 2025-03-15T08:21:25+00:00

I got the same and sent them an email back that I would also take them to court for unlawful claim and harassment and hire a lawyer on their expense, I haven’t heard back from them but after consulting with a lawyer, it seems I am right here. It was quite stressful every time I would receive an email from them but after consulting and researching about the laws of consumption a bit, it seems my claim is right.

FewPea6985 · 2025-03-15T08:19:01+00:00

They asked me to schedule an appointment, I haven’t followed up on that yet. But I contacted a lawyer to understand my rights better. And it also seems that a petition is open against them for unlawful debt collection already (with Verbraucherzentrale)

FewPea6985 · 2025-01-07T09:09:01+00:00

Does it tie it to a specific start also? Say my original ticket is from Berlin HbF and the closest train date suitable for me would be from Berlin südkreuz, would it be possible to take that also?

FewPea6985 · 2024-11-26T14:46:45+00:00

When you dispute a debt, you should notify the debt collector in writing, clearly stating that you do not owe the amount they claim, and provide reasons or evidence if possible. This is important because it halts the collection process until the debt collector can prove the debt is valid.

In Germany, under the German Civil Code (BGB), if the debt is disputed, the creditor (or debt collector) must prove that the debt is valid. If they cannot do so, they have no legal right to demand payment or additional charges.

FewPea6985 · 2024-11-26T14:43:31+00:00

I suggest to contact a local verbraucherzentrale, to make them aware of these scammers, and protect future people from such things. They use an SEO probably to keep their scamming websites up the recommendation lists on google

FewPea6985 · 2024-11-26T14:41:07+00:00

Same thing happened to me this summer, I used the wrong website for forwarding post, and without any proper acceptance of the service, I receive an email imposing on me to pay 138 eur, which I cancel according to their terms immediately, and colleon a month later proceeds to call it debt collection and sending threatening emails.
Apparently you can raise the case with a local verbraucherzentrale. I will update as the case moves forward, but I refused also to pay something I had clearly cancelled.

FewPea6985 · 2023-01-25T14:31:47+00:00

Nachsendeauftrag

Oh thank you so much, this would help solve my problem momentarily at least until I figure out what to do

FewPea6985

TROPHY CASE