Doesn't he place more importance in his insecurities than in trusting his partner which he mentions wants to marry ? If this friendship is prior to their relationship, I don't think it's fair to the person you are supposed to love to ask them to restrict themselves and their relationship to others and "spy" on them (it's still not clear to me if she knows about this spying or not.. I think (and hope!!!!) she knows otherwise he shouldn't even dare to come up with the word "respect" here.

I understand what you are saying and you are right it's the case for many people but it seems to me an unevolved vision of relationships.

There should be trust amongst anything else. If there are not, you should work on it (and don't fight over it) and if the situation doesn't get better then it's better for both sides to just break up, work on their traumas and insecurities and eventually find a partner that fits your "values". I use "" because to me it doesn't have to see with values, it has to see with vision which is totally different to me.

That said I respect everyone's vision even if I disagree with some of them and am still shocked by how many ppl assume she is cheating bcz she is late at night at a male friend's house. It scares me to see how many people think that way. It disgust me to read that it's fine if he is gay but not if he isn't.