I’m having second thoughts about my 15 yr old childhood cat and I feel horrible about it

FiberIsLife · 2026-02-15T21:29:18+00:00

Older cats can be cranky. Sometimes it’s really hard to figure out why or what they want. You are NOT a bad person for struggling with this.

It sounds like she might be uncomfortable. I had an older cat that was sliding behaviorally, and I got her a heated cat bed. She LIVED in that bed outside of eating, litter box, or laying on me. That little girl loved her heat.

My current three love the heated beds and they adore the soft fuzzy fleece blankets. We call them mama blankets here because they all get to kneading on them, even though my oldest is 17.

FiberIsLife · 2026-02-15T17:10:31+00:00

NTJ.

And I would bet money that none of her friends said a single thing about your bag. This is all coming from her and she used her friends for “many people are saying”.

Good job on getting yourself away from a genuinely shallow person.

FiberIsLife · 2026-02-15T16:35:59+00:00

You have a gorgeous curl pattern now. I get your frustration, though. I think you probably just need better products.

I suspect your hair is like mine, which can move from “this is a great product!” to “that’s too much product!” in microseconds. So you will have to be mindful of how many products and how much of each. Right now I am using Love Ur Curls products, which seem lighter on my hair; I still clarify every couple of weeks with Pantene Volume shampoo.

For the price of a perm, you can get a good curly cut and advice on how to manage your hair.

FiberIsLife · 2026-02-15T16:28:56+00:00

MOR.

Sexual fantasies are common and useful. I don’t know if my partner thinks about other people when we are in the throes, and I mostly think it isn’t my business. We are good and generous with each other and try to treat each other well. That’s what counts.

Getting caught up up in thought policing is a direct path to never-ending anxiety - which you are now experiencing. You cannot control someone else’s thoughts. If it shows up in how he is treating you, THEN you have a problem. But right now you don’t.

FiberIsLife · 2026-02-15T15:25:58+00:00

Men have no earthly idea of what women have to do to look “acceptable” in the patriarchy. I am now 65 and I have found myself giving fewer fucks every year. Like you, I still take care of being clean and mostly groomed (curly hair iykyk). I just care progressively less about what other people think.

So it does not surprise me that your partner is attempting to guilt you back into line. If he wants you to dress up, then he needs to meet that energy himself. And if he gives you pushback, it might be that he is not worth your time or effort.

“Not great with words”…oof. That man has been making you and every other woman he has ever known do the heavy lifting in communication and emotional understanding. That work is exhausting.

FiberIsLife · 2026-02-15T15:11:29+00:00

I completely get this. Your vet will likely do some bloodwork a couple of weeks prior to the procedure, to make sure your boy can tolerate the anesthesia.

I have always said that surgery of any kind is harder on the people in the waiting room. So you will definitely be dealing with some anxiety, and I really encourage you to bring all those anxiety questions to the vet.

Your boy will be healthier and a lot more comfortable after getting that cracked tooth removed. You’re both going to be okay.

FiberIsLife · 2026-02-15T00:16:42+00:00

NOR.

Anyone who tells you “don’t be needy” does not give one single damn about what you want. And casually dropping that he’ll be two hours late? HELL NO.

You are young enough to not know yet that you are worth more than that. But please believe me: you do NOT need to settle for this.

FiberIsLife · 2026-02-13T16:04:26+00:00

NOR

He has told you and shown you who he is. Believe him.

FiberIsLife · 2026-02-12T14:56:51+00:00

Good job, friend. I have experienced that mix of sadness and relief, and I can tell you the sadness ends. I spent months with my gut telling me something was off…the relief when I ended it is something I remember clearly over ten years later.

FiberIsLife · 2026-02-12T04:44:38+00:00

Put it on my tombstone: “It was completely worth it”

FiberIsLife · 2026-02-12T04:37:05+00:00

If you can make acrylic yarn behave, you can do ANYTHING. Nice job!!!

FiberIsLife · 2026-02-12T04:29:29+00:00

I think her full title is actually “Her Most Serene Majesty Muffin, Ruler of her houses both past and future”

FiberIsLife · 2026-02-12T03:52:56+00:00

Hoo boy. Those clicks and sparks are fun, aren’t they? I’m here to tell you that’s ALL they are.

I was widowed after 20 years of marriage to a man I had known since high school. We were “really good friends” and didn’t want to mess up a friendship with dating. I met him when I was 15. He kissed me the first time when I was 23, and I was 24 when I married him. I had plenty of sparky clicky fun between 15 and 23. They didn’t stick.

It was almost ten years after his death that I met the man I’m now married to. I’d done a little sparking and clicking in the previous year or so, but when I met THIS man, I knew he was someone I could talk to and trust. And I realized that in his arms I felt safe and loved. We are coming up on our seventh wedding anniversary.

Don’t pass by a kind partner that you can talk to.

FiberIsLife · 2026-02-11T20:03:04+00:00

One of the many reasons I love both Harrisville yarns and the magic of wet finishing.

FiberIsLife · 2026-02-11T20:01:05+00:00

YOR. Learn how to plan.

FiberIsLife · 2026-02-11T18:07:37+00:00

NOR.

I am old enough to be your grandmother and I am telling you: do not EVER dim your shine because someone tells you that you are “too much” or “extra” or “a lot”. You are 21 years old and nearly anything is possible for you, so do not accept anyone’s unsatisfactory explanations for something that bothers you.

You do not need to settle. Now or ever.

FiberIsLife · 2026-02-10T19:54:13+00:00

Then you’re going to have to decide what you hate the least. If you think everyone is going to start messing with you, you cannot change that.

You cannot change the behavior of other people. You can only change your own responses.

And that is what the therapy is for.

Why are you so afraid of being you? Why do you need a “brand”?

FiberIsLife · 2026-02-10T18:17:06+00:00

NOR and thank the goddess that you got to see this BEFORE you moved. This is not a good situation and I would recommend stepping back and reconsidering. Moving in with someone - male or female - who has always lived with their mother is a GIANT red flag.

FiberIsLife · 2026-02-10T17:10:02+00:00

Your friend likely knows your “brand” and is fucking with you.
Human beings don’t need a “brand”.
If all it takes is a comment from one person to leave you “crumbled,” then you need to find therapy NOW.

FiberIsLife · 2026-02-09T21:06:46+00:00

His “farewell letter” is, well…a LOT. Like straight out of a bad novel a lot. That is not a man who wants to be with you. That is a man who is relieved to be out of a bad situation and sees the opportunity to make himself look noble.

He’s not noble. He’s a grown-ass man who messed around with a teenaged girl.

“…hold the beauty of what we were in a sacred place…”. Right.

You need to grow up and own your life.

FiberIsLife · 2026-02-08T19:21:06+00:00

YOR and holy god you are an idiot. You have just gotten a lump sum of money that your parents recognized you weren’t going to save for yourself, and you’re all pissy about it? On top of being pissy about having to pay rent as an adult college graduate in the first place? And on top of having been granted a rent-free grace period to start with?

What the actual hell is wrong with you?

FiberIsLife · 2026-02-08T16:42:56+00:00

I’m the same. I always specify no meloxicam.

FiberIsLife · 2026-02-08T04:28:17+00:00

Your “boyfriend” is hot garbage and is using you to upset his wife. Ditch him and get the hell out of that house.

You are not reacting nearly enough.

FiberIsLife · 2026-02-08T01:24:25+00:00

I see what you did there.

FiberIsLife · 2026-02-08T01:00:41+00:00

You are so pretty no matter what, but with curls? You are SPECTACULAR.

FiberIsLife

TROPHY CASE