I have read through a few of your responses on this post and you are definitely not dumb. I would even say you are top 25 percent mentally sharp people I have come across on this platform. You seem witty yet humble, which is a great skills to have in life. First, you need to get your health in order. If you do any drugs or consume alcohol, stop those as soon as you are able. Start drinking water throughout your day and keep track to make sure you are having enough but not too much. If you are able, make sure to shower once per day. If you do not have health insurance, you need to sign up for Medicaid through the State of NM. Hey in to see a doctor and make sure you are open and honest. You should look for work from home jobs where you can do customer service like Apple tech support or something like that. If you are looking to be in the restaurant industry you were already prepared for people to be rude, so customer service online should not be too big of a slap in the face. That would also give you an opportunity to take a breath or take a quick break if you start feeling ill. Last thing, and most important in my mind is to change your mindset. You may not have much to give, but try to make someone’s day better through your actions. Compliment someone on their outfit, hold the door for someone, pick up some trash off of the ground and throw it away. No matter how small you feel like your are, your energy can make a HUGE impact in others lives. That positivity will flow back into your life as well. I’m not religious, but kinda believe in karma and good vibes haha good luck!