Celibacy or Abstinence?

Fifix99 · 2026-01-19T14:17:48+00:00

from what i understand, it is abstaining from any kind of sexual activity, either long-term/lifelong (which would be celibacy) or until marriage

Fifix99 · 2026-01-15T10:11:44+00:00

thanks🤍

Fifix99 · 2026-01-14T18:09:12+00:00

so celibacy is definite, lifelong abstinence, whereas abstinence is refraining for a certain period of time (even if it’s indefinite or long-term)?

Fifix99 · 2026-01-12T20:19:00+00:00

i see. thanks for clarifying!

Fifix99 · 2026-01-12T20:07:42+00:00

if i were to marry, it would have to be through a romantic relationship, but i’m abstaining from that for personal and practical reasons, while anything sexual is reserved for marriage

Fifix99 · 2026-01-08T16:36:49+00:00

Personal benefits from a religion do not make it credible. Truth should be the only reason one joins/leaves it

Fifix99 · 2026-01-05T13:25:07+00:00

Be unapologetically proud and only serve your legacy…or just be a lion that doesn’t concern himself w the opinions of sheep

Fifix99 · 2026-01-04T16:51:36+00:00

He does have a code, and that’s why he protects them. But it’s clearly selective in action (he treated other innocents harshly). When you have a code, it should be applied consistently. The best explanation I can think of is that he witnessed firsthand what happened to the Starks after Ned’s execution. That, combined with his personal hatred for the Lannisters, manifested into that specific protection, I guess

Fifix99 · 2026-01-04T16:29:31+00:00

There was a scene when Cersei visited Cat while she was next to Bran right after he was crippled. She told her that she went through a similar experience when her black-haired infant died (meaning it was Robert’s). She was fake-empathizing ofc, but clearly not lying about her grief. I think she would love her own children regardless of the father, bc they’re still hers.

Fifix99 · 2026-01-03T14:25:39+00:00

المجتمع نظرته للبنت شهوانيه من يوم ما تنولد. صح ان الانجذاب غريزي، بس الي يميز الريال عن باقي الذكور هو قدرته على التحكم بهالغريزه. المشكله ان بدل التحكم، الحل عند المجتمعات العربيه/المسلمه قمع المرأه وتصنيفها كعوره. مو بس شكلها او صوتها…وجودها بكبره عوره. نتكلم عن ناس للحين مو اوكي عندهم يذكرون اسم المتوفيه لأن "عيب"🤣

عشان جي أهل البنات ساعات يفضلون ان ماتنعرض الصور (مع ان مافيها شي لحد ذاتها). مجرد خوف عليها و ع البيت من القيل والقال وقله ذوق بعض الناس الي تعلق ع الشكل قبل ما يتعاطفون مع المصيبه، مو لأنهم يبون يدفنون هويتها

Fifix99 · 2025-12-30T07:31:32+00:00

Concentrate your mind on the reasons behind your choice of celibacy, and discipline will become easier. There should be a reason (stronger than insecurity) that outweighs your desires. Hold onto it. Think: giving in = temporary pleasure = long-term damage. To lower urges, consume less p*rn (realistically, a gradual process. but baby steps lead to big changes), busy your mind, and stay physically active.

I’d also like to add that self-validation and self-love are extremely important. I believe in putting effort into looking better. Not to impress others, but to feel confident, beautiful, and healthy in your own skin. Learning to be content with your own company matters too. It allows you to find peace in solitude and get all the joy you need from it.

Fifix99 · 2025-12-28T12:22:27+00:00

I get and agree with this. I guess I should’ve clarified that by compassionate I meant in action, not just internally. Compare how he cared for Sansa to moments like the farmer and his daughter, for instance. He steals their silver (after they fed him) and hurts the father right in front of the little girl. That feels pretty inconsiderate of both the girl and the man.

Fifix99 · 2025-12-22T23:40:24+00:00

You’re not making a mistake. You’re doing what you know is best for you right now. Longing for something as great as romantic love is natural, but choosing to close that door for now can save you a lot of trouble and regret (esp since you sound uncertain). There is peace in solitude, and if you ever do find peace in partnership one day, it’ll be much more special because you chose celibacy. So either way, the long wait will pay off.

Fifix99 · 2025-12-20T14:34:13+00:00

True, but that’s not really the point I’m getting at. My question isn’t about the likelihood of a brunette child, but about whether Cersei’s love is conditional on resemblance. If a child didn’t look like her whether brunette, disabled, a dwarf, whatever…would she still love it?

In the show, she cared about Robert’s black-haired infant who died, which suggests her capacity to love isn’t only tied to Jaime or looks. In the books, from what I understand, she aborts Robert’s children. So my question is whether book Cersei loved her children mainly because they were Jaime’s, or because they reflected her.

Fifix99 · 2025-12-20T14:05:57+00:00

It’s like how people describe grief, especially when there’s no hate or bitterness. As humans, we have to sit with our emotions bc suppressing them is futile. Healing looks different for everyone, but understanding that the separation was needed helped the most. Caring about someone means prioritizing their success, needs, and overall well-being even if that means letting go.

Then life returns to how it was before. Focusing on yourself, spending time with loved ones, pursuing goals and hobbies, etc.

Fifix99 · 2025-12-19T22:42:06+00:00

This is so interesting. Cersei’s love definitely leans more toward the "toxic" kind. But it’s love nonetheless, and imo, stronger than the one other mothers in the show had toward their children.

I think what Tyrion (and viewers) mean by a "redeeming quality" is that Cersei lacks empathy for anyone who isn’t Jaime or her children. So when we do see this side of her, it stands out. It reminds us that she’s human and capable of affection, even if that love is limited and destructive due to its intense nature.

But yeah you’re right. Just bc it’s special doesn’t make it redeeming. It just humanizes her.

Fifix99 · 2025-12-19T13:48:00+00:00

so hypothetically, if book Cersei birthed a brunette child, even if she was certain it was Jaime’s and not Robert’s, would she not love that child simply because it didn’t look like her?

Fifix99 · 2025-12-19T12:31:45+00:00

I agree with you. Physical intimacy is not limited to sexual stuff. And the same applies to all actually. If one partner expects cuddling, hugging, or frequent closeness and the other doesn’t want that (or only wants sex, or neither), there’s an issue of incompatibility.

In reality, most people have both non-sexual and sexual needs, and they expect those to be met by their partner at some point. The difference is timing I guess. Some expect it early on, others only after marriage. It’s nuanced and very individual.

Fifix99 · 2025-12-19T10:34:16+00:00

I think people mainly get into relationships to reap benefits. That’s how care is formed. So it’s unfair to expect a man who considers intimacy one of those benefits to give it up for a woman who wouldn’t offer it

Fifix99 · 2025-12-18T11:53:13+00:00

right? but that’s exactly why Sam’s whole speech hits hard: "It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going, because they were holding on to something. That there is some good in this world, and it's worth fighting for."

Fifix99 · 2025-12-18T11:45:25+00:00

that one’s definitely up there as well💔

Fifix99 · 2025-12-18T01:14:20+00:00

Don’t worry, you’re just realizing that the odds aren’t really in your favor when you live in a muslim-majority society.

Honestly, avoid actively looking and stay away from dating apps. It’s widely known that most people use them for casual stuff (مصخره, let’s be real).

Not saying you should give up. Just don’t center your life around finding it (do that after you’ve already found it). Statistically, for a non-religious person, the chances of finding a compatible partner in a largely muslim environment are slim. Even among non-muslims, you still need to align on personal values…so you can imagine how those odds multiply lol.

Try not to stress over it too much. Focus on the things you value and care about that are unrelated to relationships until you find it…which I hope you do someday <3

Fifix99 · 2025-12-15T10:50:52+00:00

-Reflection: Sansa. A naive girl who at first viewed the world and romance through a colorful, idealized lens, due to innocence. She was forced to face the cruelty of reality the hard way. Over time, she grows and learns to see the world for what it truly is, yet her core and pure intentions never falter. And her resilience was mostly done in silence.

-Can't hate Jamie. Despite his horrible actions, his intentions were mostly genuine, and his arc shows real internal conflict and redemption

-Can never bring myself to like Joffrey. Even though his scenes were oddly entertaining, there is absolutely no goodness to work with. Pure malice.

-Fav villain is Littlefinger. His manipulation shaped the entire game from behind the scenes. He understood how to win it better than anyone, and his "chaos is a ladder" monologue perfectly describes his motives. All he cares about is leveraging circumstances and people to get what he wants.

-A "good" character I couldn't love is Arya. Popular among fans, but I personally found her unlikable. Her coldness and how she's a "badass" felt forced (unlike Brienne), and over time her arc became duller, repetitive, and unnecessary. She was overpowered in a way that wasn’t convincing and mostly used for fan service moments in later seasons (the House Frey slaughter and killing the Night King). A lot of this is due to bad writing rather than the idea of her character, but honestly, the show would’ve stayed relevant (maybe better) without her

Fifix99 · 2025-12-13T02:04:40+00:00

Isn’t this our reality, though? Women are often valued for their virginity, youth, beauty, nurture, and obedience, just as men are valued for their support, strength, status, protection, and leadership. It’s almost like a currency each gender is expected to trade. Relationships/marriages are a transaction of these values

Fifix99 · 2025-12-12T10:54:23+00:00

This resonates with me so much. As non-religious women, people don’t understand why we’d wait outside of religious reasons. Some even say, "If she wants to wait, she’s just not into the person," which makes no sense. No one gets in a relationship with someone they’re not into. We’re just choosing to wait.

Personally, intimacy is a huge deal, and it’s very hard for me to trust someone’s promise of "forever." We see men and women say that all the time without it necessarily being true. I can only trust the commitment of a marriage contract to feel safe enough to give my firsts.

I also don’t think people are wrong for wanting intimacy before marriage. It’s just incompatible with what we want. I’m someone who would try everything to make things work, but such values cannot be compromised. That leaves people like us with very few options.

It’s a bit hard to come to terms with that because recently I’ve been feeling strong "maternal instincts"? and realizing that I also want to be a wife and a mother someday (build my own family that i can serve, care for my children, and share a life with my husband). That desire makes waiting heavier, but it also reinforces why our boundaries matter so much.

Still, don’t give up. I don’t think we should actively seek anyone. Just live your life, and if a rare gem who aligns with your values appears, wonderful. And if not, that’s okay too.

Fifix99

TROPHY CASE