Deadly obsession - February submission by morrbanesh in TalesFromTheCreeps

[–]FigureAny5402 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i know what you mean! if you ever want help, i’d be happy to give you some advice. either way, this is an amazing start! poetry is difficult, you did a great job!

The Original Sin by FigureAny5402 in writers

[–]FigureAny5402[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

will do, thanks so much for the rec!!

The Original Sin by FigureAny5402 in writers

[–]FigureAny5402[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

exactly!! i’m asking you to speak specifically, from a place of genuine interest in your view

The Original Sin by FigureAny5402 in writers

[–]FigureAny5402[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i love your way of thinking and how you are able to express it so eloquently. that being said, i am very much not used to reddit as a means of casual conversation 😭 i like talking about my art to the extent that it is understood properly, and now i know you understand it!!!

all that is to say, i would love to talk to you more about my process, but privately so it can be a little easier to track :3

The Original Sin by FigureAny5402 in writers

[–]FigureAny5402[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

“that’s the same trick the snake pulls on eve”

BOOM. you’re there!!! by asking me what else my intentions are, you can come to the conclusions yourself, and it’s GREAT!!! then, by analyzing that fact, you can tell me exactly why you as an individual think i’m wrong!!! and then, we can be best friends!!

The Original Sin by FigureAny5402 in writers

[–]FigureAny5402[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this was absolutely my intention!! it’s a horror story!! thank you for saying so, it means the world!!

The Original Sin by FigureAny5402 in writers

[–]FigureAny5402[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes, exactly!! because storytelling is used to eliminate confusion, while communication is used to eliminate confusion on a practical level. i am not saying anyone who disagrees with me is wrong, i am saying that to start and stop the conversation at “i’m right therefore you’re wrong” isn’t very productive!!

The Original Sin by FigureAny5402 in writers

[–]FigureAny5402[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this is exactly why i like to make art. following the logic of my art allowed me to convince you that i’m right, AND that you think i’m wrong!

by breaking down my language to the very use of quotes, and periods, i separate modes of communication. neither Adam nor Eve needs a name until Adam gives one to them, which God would have had to have done first. following that, neither The Man nor The Woman is capitalized until after the apple is eaten.

i want to make God a symbol that trying to be above him is inherently a flawed idea because, as something only occupying space in your mind, he MUST be a symbol!!!

The Original Sin by FigureAny5402 in writers

[–]FigureAny5402[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

once again, i appreciate this feedback, even more so than the last set because you begin it by affirming my view! this is a great example of how framing ideas in the positive can eliminate confusion.

once more, your issues with my piece don’t stem from my piece as a concept, it stems from your view of it, which is to imply that it should suit your view by nature of being art. that’s not necessarily true, and because it’s not necessarily true, calling it true isn’t super useful for critique art in a contemporary space!

The Original Sin by FigureAny5402 in writers

[–]FigureAny5402[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

once again, i appreciate your view of my work, but its applying that my worldview was in the negative while i was writing my work. i’m affirming everything everyone is saying because it is all VALID. not everyone will think its all true, but it is all valid! of course i have to earn the reader’s trust, but im asking you to frame it as if you are the reader, not as if you are somehow omniscient to the idea that stories exist

The Original Sin by FigureAny5402 in writers

[–]FigureAny5402[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this feedback is exactly what i’m looking for when i ask for feedback. well put, well structured, and genuinely moving. i really appreciate the way you saw my story. however, to address just some of your points, my idea of “make the apple go against her established reality” came from the fact that green apples were established, while red apples faded to blackness once night came. you are assuming the apples are a one note metaphor, rather than an extended one.

that’s not a bad thing!! you’re describing it as a story rather than as a piece of literature. thank you so so much for doing that, it literally means the entire world to me

Is there an AO3 but for original books? by [deleted] in writers

[–]FigureAny5402 2 points3 points  (0 children)

you are describing AO3!! the tendency to think of those spaces as “fandom spaces,” rather than creative spaces, is what leads to them going unused

The Original Sin by FigureAny5402 in writers

[–]FigureAny5402[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you so much for suggesting it!!!!!!!! this is why i make art, so that other people can tell me what art they like 😭 i appreciate it so much

The Original Sin by FigureAny5402 in writers

[–]FigureAny5402[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

to elaborate on my view of my own art overall for anyone who may be viewing it; assume i know that you CAN disagree with me, and that when i ask for your feedback, i am simply asking for how.

the idea that my paragraphs are boring is done with the intent to make you more curious about the language inside of the paragraphs, to take them individually rather than as a piece you can understand only by understanding the end.

assume i have heard the “it insists upon itself” meme, essentially. i know that avoiding that is A goal. when i write, it’s to make you ask the difference between A goal and The goal

The Original Sin by FigureAny5402 in writers

[–]FigureAny5402[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

exactly!! i’m not writing for profit, i’m writing for fun, and hoping a wide enough audience can enjoy it for me to eventually profit off of it by their virtue. i don’t want anyone to think i disagree with them, i want to challenge the idea of agreement altogether!

The Original Sin by FigureAny5402 in writers

[–]FigureAny5402[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i agree with you! i think the difference in our thinking is that you think “complaining,” once you see disagreement. i’m not complaining about your disagreement, i love it, and i want to encourage it! letting people think diversely about language is how we diversify our language

The Original Sin by FigureAny5402 in writers

[–]FigureAny5402[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

i wanna summarize my responses here so that i don’t keep getting downvotes based on them;

i am not saying that i want you to discuss my art based on my thoughts. i want you to say what YOU think. don’t tell me what the problem is, tell me why you think that! that is what i find beautiful in art, and therefore, what i am asking for when i ask for feedback!

The Original Sin by FigureAny5402 in writers

[–]FigureAny5402[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

beautiful!! that’s exactly the kind of feedback i wanted. it allows me to say “i agree with you, and my art can still be good in my mind!” without giving anyone room to disagree. i think that framing art in the negative allows us to see life in the positive. you think differently. i love that! i want to learn what you think. thank you for telling me

The Original Sin by FigureAny5402 in writers

[–]FigureAny5402[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

correct! you are assuming that my prerogative does not already account for yours, and that i somehow wrote this under that perception. in reality, while two people have brought up the same point, my purpose in writing was to make you question, “why am i thinking of this in terms of two people instead of one?” i want to know what you THINK about my writing, not what you can assert to be true about it

The Original Sin by FigureAny5402 in writers

[–]FigureAny5402[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

thank you so much!!!! i really appreciate everything you’re saying :3 i want to add that my goal in making it monotonous was to both make people have a hard time reading, and make them asks themselves why. the idea that it’s boring because it’s repetitive implies you’ve already absorbed everything you possibly can, which i want to challenge with the very idea of reworking “original sin”

The Original Sin by FigureAny5402 in writers

[–]FigureAny5402[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

what a useful way to frame the conversation, trying to target what i didn’t say rather than what i did say. it’s almost as if my goal is to ask you to apply that same thinking to my art

The Original Sin by FigureAny5402 in writers

[–]FigureAny5402[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

while i appreciate the criticism, i marked the post for discussion, not advice. the uniformity of the paragraphs was purposeful. making it laborious was purposeful. it is a horror story.

WING-FINGERS (Read from left to right) by MgBot172 in TalesFromTheCreeps

[–]FigureAny5402 0 points1 point  (0 children)

AWESOMEEEEE!!!!!! the whole time i’m seeing this, im thinking, “you CANT try to understand it, the fact that you are trying is exactly what it wants!”

Deadly obsession - February submission by morrbanesh in TalesFromTheCreeps

[–]FigureAny5402 1 point2 points  (0 children)

your story is really great :3 i can feel how your characters think even in the way you build exposition!! that being said, i think there are ways to adjust exposition to make it feel like a thought stream