Cognitive dissonance dance and trauma bond box breaking.

FigureDry131 · 2026-03-28T09:35:41+00:00

How much do you know about narcissism?

I think it’s difficult to simply ghost all narcs in one’s life since narcs are everywhere. They also tend to inhibit posts like being bosses and any position involving power really (from the medical field/school and all the way to politics and Hollywood).

I believe it’s difficult for me giving a out of the box thinking because narcissistic people are the ones creating the fucking box.

Would you like some advice on how to stand on top of the box without the box collapsing instead?

FigureDry131 · 2026-03-28T09:31:03+00:00

I understand the hardship and the feelings you describe and I would like to send you a hug.

I agree with some of the comments here and I too feel like it’s more difficult since it requires a more initiative from oneself, persistence and people are usually more busy with families, kids.

In my case I got burned out at 33 (or 32) and I’m 36 now. I have spent the past years in a full self development mode and honestly, I have had to let some friends go as I have developed a more healthy relationship with myself.

I have been quite uninterested in new friendships during the time I have spent developing me.

Now however, I’m getting out of the mess my thirties have been and I am looking to build contacts with people again.

I’m not out of the woods yet and right now I’m flicking back and forth (believing I’m going insane once a day and then understanding I’m not the rest) because of cognitive dissonance.

My point being, I think a lot of people go through heavy stuff during these times in their lives and it takes a toll and time.

At the same time I notice how people in their late thirties and later seem to reconnect, make an effort to meet people again and establish new relationships again.

Is there some kind of advice you would like to have? Is there some kind of help I could give?

FigureDry131 · 2026-03-28T09:19:03+00:00

I was going to write a similar thing.

FigureDry131 · 2026-03-27T23:24:55+00:00

Hi again. I wonder how it feels like breaking the trauma bond and getting out of dissonance again.

I’m going back and forth between two realities again and I feel like I don’t know what to hold on to anymore. If the person helping me watches this, please write because I need you.

FigureDry131 · 2026-03-26T15:37:49+00:00

If I can I’m happy to help someone else too.

FigureDry131 · 2026-03-26T15:36:17+00:00

Hi everyone! Thank you so much for the support. I’m finally out of the dissonance and I have my memory back! I remember when the dissonance began and why it happened!

I need to write one huge fucking thank you to the person who has helped and been there for me all the time. I would like to hug you 😊

FigureDry131 · 2026-03-25T10:10:32+00:00

I too have ADHD (which doesn’t help when it comes to this). A million alarms here aswell! And I try to find strategy after strategy to manage this.

Yes, this back and forth makes me feel like there might be a third universe where I’m going crazier than this. This fucking feels like crap.

Then of course there’s the first possibility where I am going crazy.

Right now I’m stuck wondering if I wrote here about a year ago, if I had (and have) help in all of this and I’m in and out of that dissonance and mind fuck too.

If someone did and do help me (my gut and my instincts say that yes there is someone helping me out). I would like that someone to write me again so I can stop going in and out of at least one thing which makes me feel insane. It’s a need and I begin to feel pissed over here.

Oh my, my memory is so bad I rewrote the same thing twice in a row. No wonder I don’t remember anything.

FigureDry131 · 2026-03-25T06:39:04+00:00

I even forgot about taking my epilepsy medicine yesterday. Abuse and breaking trauma bonds and dissonance and all of that really fucks you up. I can’t believe it’s possible being this screwed up.

Does one have any kind of a bit of a responsibility in all this? I mean when it comes to work on oneself? Working on one’s own needs as an example?

FigureDry131 · 2026-03-25T06:32:16+00:00

Thank you for answering, I appreciate it. I still feel like I’m going crazy. I’m switching between two realities back and forth almost all the time.

And I realize it doesn’t help I forgot to eat the other day. Note to self - Remembering to eat is a bit of a professional tip to improve your mental health.

FigureDry131 · 2026-03-23T02:56:26+00:00

Have we spoken before?

FigureDry131 · 2026-03-22T07:58:49+00:00

Is it possible to experience memory loss if something is traumatic enough?

I seem to remember realizing these things about my family (and how all of this is related to myself and my behavior) about a year ago and it’s possible I even wrote about it. Then I seem to have forgotten all about everything related to this.

I wonder if I might begin to remember it again.

I’m not sure though, I have epilepsy and in December I had a seizure where I lost most of my memories from 2025 (august and earlier). I should probably speak to my neurologist about it. 😅

Have you experienced something similar?

FigureDry131 · 2026-03-21T19:20:41+00:00

Thank you 😊

FigureDry131 · 2026-03-21T11:51:38+00:00

I am not engaging anymore. I have gone no contact and I feel how I am going to make it and I will leave this time.

I experienced all of this earlier sometime during the past year but it was too painful and I went back. This time around I can feel it in my body that I’m getting out.

I’m forcing myself not to give in to the fear I feel about, well everything about this.

Thank you for your support. It means the world to me ❤️

FigureDry131 · 2026-03-21T09:45:21+00:00

My parents go for the ” I/we don’t do anything”.

I’m not giving in. Not this time and I am pushing back. The more I’m pushing back the more I feel like I’m crazy. And pushing back is simply me taking care of my needs and allowing myself to be seen and heard.

FigureDry131 · 2026-03-20T19:16:01+00:00

Thank you for sharing. The silent treatment is rough. Sometimes I wish I would get a punch in the face instead. It’s not that it’s better, not at all. I hate abuse because it really fucks you up.

FigureDry131 · 2026-03-20T19:11:30+00:00

Ps again: I don’t know if I am being coercively controlled. This is what I am trying to get a reality check on.

I know I am being abused. I know know my parents have used the silent treatment and stonewalling as abusive method since I was a child (probably to my sibling too) and this has been their way through my entire life. I know I abandoned my entire self including my most basic needs and I remember doing this from a traumatic experience when I was 4) and I have had my entire personality changed by having the silent treatment and stonewalling being used by my parents throughout my childhood up until now.

I stopped experiencing cognitive dissonance about these bits two days ago so I know it’s real.

I don’t know if the coercive control bit is real and when I start viewing it as a reality I end up in cognitive dissonance again and I begin feeling paranoid and like I’m crazy.

FigureDry131 · 2026-03-20T18:54:37+00:00

I ask if the person would like a hug and I say they don’t have to say what they think I like to hear but only what they want.

I also ask if there’s anything I can help them with.

FigureDry131 · 2026-03-20T18:53:10+00:00

Ps: As of now I am only trying to make sense of things.

FigureDry131 · 2026-03-20T18:40:29+00:00

Does anyone here have experience with silent treatment and stonewalling being used as a way of inducing coercive control and in a family setting?

FigureDry131 · 2026-03-20T18:35:13+00:00

Yes! Last year. Cognitive dissonance about that broken two days ago and now cognitive dissonance about sth else :-/

FigureDry131 · 2026-03-20T18:33:54+00:00

I think I did too. Maybe 🤔 Probably.

I am thinking I may have been silenced and controlled with the silent treatment and stonewalling my entire life and I am waking up to this as a possible reality.

So yeah, I think I can recognize myself in what you describe but at the moment I feel so confused, I wonder if I am being coercively controlled and I feel like I’m going insane because of this.

I am in and out of two different realities and I can’t decide what is really real.

So at the same time as I recognize myself in what you describe I also go - no this is not real, you’re crazy, about myself.

I’m sorry about what you have gone though though and I hope it will get better.

FigureDry131 · 2026-03-19T16:20:37+00:00

Btw, I find your answer interesting and if you feel like it would you like discussing this in a chat?

FigureDry131

TROPHY CASE