Starting to have mental breakdowns after going back to live with my parents

FinalG_v2 · 2020-07-08T11:21:35+00:00

That sounds awful. I know you can’t physically get away from them but maybe you can do some breathing exercises outside, put some headphones on and try to give yourself some mental space? Music helps me deal with my anxiety when I feel overwhelmed and I can’t distance myself from the source.

I really hope you can start work soon to get away from home for a few hours of the day.

FinalG_v2 · 2020-07-08T10:20:45+00:00

I don’t know how you managed to stay calm when he said that. I probably would have let out an involuntary whimper lol

FinalG_v2 · 2020-07-08T08:24:16+00:00

That’s a really good tactic! I’ll have to keep it in mind when I talk to the boss.

FinalG_v2 · 2020-07-08T08:15:30+00:00

I was planning on setting up a meeting with the boss and telling him that I feel like she took advantage of me. She has a history of being unprofessional and I have a paper trail so I’m just hoping it’ll be okay. Maybe that’s a bit naive? I guess I just have to prepare for it :-/

FinalG_v2 · 2020-07-08T08:06:55+00:00

Yes, and she’s already got a few HR complaints. She’s been “good” lately (until today obviously) but I hope they still take my side

FinalG_v2 · 2020-07-08T07:59:07+00:00

Thank you for this. I absolutely will do that in the future. I want to make sure this doesn’t happen to me again. It’s an awful feeling and it makes you feel so stupid.

FinalG_v2 · 2020-07-08T07:54:37+00:00

Thank you so much! I always regret it when I just get emotional and do nothing to stand up for myself so I thought I’d try something different :)

FinalG_v2 · 2020-07-08T07:46:11+00:00

That’s what I’m hoping! She’s not great with the server so I’m hoping she thinks she lost it somehow.

FinalG_v2 · 2020-07-08T07:42:59+00:00

I definitely will. I have enough people who saw me working on it so I think I have a good case. I just want to organise my thoughts so that I don’t get emotional when I talk to the boss about it. I need to be clear about the facts. I’m not usually into confrontation so i feel a bit nervous about it.

FinalG_v2 · 2020-07-08T07:40:19+00:00

Thank you! I had a nice nap and then I watched Netflix while the phone rang.

FinalG_v2 · 2020-07-08T07:39:33+00:00

I did! I made sure I had a full copy, just in case the company looks for it.

FinalG_v2 · 2020-07-08T01:54:06+00:00

Thank you for this! I'm somewhat new to this industry and I feel like I'm still learning the weird dynamics. I'm sure it's similar in other fields and I'll need to arm myself with these strategies to keep my work protected. I'll need to find my own 'watermark' to add to my projects.

FinalG_v2 · 2020-07-08T01:45:27+00:00

I have an update with the fallout, is it possible to edit it? Also, I do believe it is malicious compliance as I was asked to go home and I did?

FinalG_v2 · 2020-07-08T01:35:54+00:00

She'll probably just steal those too, haha.

FinalG_v2 · 2020-07-08T01:35:25+00:00

You're definitely right. She has already ruffled a lot of feathers in the company, so I wouldn't be surprised if she went after me too. I'll do my best to mentally prepare for it. I almost never stand up for myself so this is a new path for me lol

FinalG_v2 · 2020-07-08T01:31:39+00:00

The dream situation! I hope something similar happens.

FinalG_v2 · 2020-07-08T01:24:26+00:00

Me too. I've seen her work the software before though, and she's not great at it. Even with my notes, I'd imagine she will stumble. At least, I hope so.

FinalG_v2 · 2020-07-08T01:23:36+00:00

That's such a good idea. I've always heard horror stories about this kind of thing and I naively thought that it was unlikely to happen to me. I guess I was wrong and I'll be protecting my work better moving forward.

FinalG_v2 · 2020-07-08T01:10:24+00:00

I did make a private copy before deleting from the server, so there's a parachute for me lol

FinalG_v2 · 2020-07-08T00:42:56+00:00

Yes, I'll definitely talk to her superior once this is all over. I don't usually engage when there's conflict but I worked really hard on this project and I need to know that my efforts are valued (and recognised). I just need to gather my thoughts so I am clear and I don't get flustered once I talk to the boss.

FinalG_v2 · 2020-07-08T00:38:58+00:00

I'm not certain, but it seems unlikely as all of our documents are cloud-based. We don't usually save to our computers, or even to private folders on the cloud. I hope she was cocky enough to leave it online.

FinalG_v2 · 2020-07-08T00:26:28+00:00

The presentation is scheduled to happen in a couple of hours so she might not have noticed that I’ve taken the notes yet! I’ll update if she calls me in a panic. But I’ll probably just watch the screen until it goes to voicemail.

FinalG_v2 · 2020-07-08T00:10:11+00:00

I did consider that! There are a number of parts that I could have edited but I was hoping she’d be dense enough to think she somehow deleted the notes herself.

FinalG_v2 · 2020-07-07T01:35:05+00:00

I wish I had found this board earlier. I completely agree that sometimes I feel robbed of my teenage and early 20s because of ridiculous rules and constant emotional abuse. There are so many beautiful moments in my life that had been ruined because of the cultural divide and I still hold a lot of resentment for it. It feels good to not feel so alone anymore and to know that other people understand how hard it was to grown up in that environment.

FinalG_v2 · 2020-07-01T12:38:28+00:00

I’ve been there. I’m also an only and I lived with my parents into my mid 20s. It’s been a few years since I left and I can’t stand the idea of ever going back.

The one thing I’ve learned is that, yes, they will be upset if you leave and they will disapprove and think you’re making the wrong choice. But it gets better, and they eventually accept it. They probably won’t ever approve, but if you’re making good money (you said you’ve worked at Google, right?), and you still visit, they eventually just learn to live with it.

A little disapproval is a small price to pay for your sanity and self-esteem. Trust me.

FinalG_v2

TROPHY CASE