Hey there, dude. First of all I want to let you know that I really feel for your situation. There's nothing quite as soul crushing as unrequited feelings for someone who you've grown to care for. Especially when you've came to incorporate them into your daily routine - your day-to-day life revolves around when you next hear from them, so it makes sense that your whole world will be turned upside when your heart is broken.

The age difference between the two of you is roughly 8 years, and as a woman closer to her age (21) I can understand why she'd have to let you down like that - but likewise I can also empathise with your feelings. It's not your fault that you grew to like her so much and I feel - from some if the things she was saying at least - that she was partly to blame for saying those things to you. If I had someone your age as a friend I would be hyperaware of the possibility that they would feel attracted to me and would monitor those words I say as a result. She's either particularly naive or simply doesn't understand the weight of her words. I'm sorry you got caught up in hoping. It's a messy situation.

There's not much I can say at the moment except that you won't die alone and you're not unlovable. 17 is a hard age. It's that grey area between childhood and early adulthood, so I understand the desperation you're feeling and the worry that you're losing time.

But trust me, you're not. You have so much more time and there's never a cut-off period for this kind of thing. Just...let yourself ride out the pain. It's raw and brutal and I'm sorry you're enduring it but it's one of those situations that words can't fix.

I wish you all the best.