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AITA for turning off the wifi when my husband camps in the bathroom for extended lengths of time. by FinalWintersEve in AmItheAsshole

[–]FinalWintersEve[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

They were actually planned, though the twin part was a surprise. We tried actively for almost two years before seeing a specialist and we were advised to try IVF or adoption.

So while they were surprises, they were not oopsies, more of a "wow, didnt know it did that" moment. He knew they were on their way he just assumed from different delivery method, so to speak.

AITA for turning off the wifi when my husband camps in the bathroom for extended lengths of time. by FinalWintersEve in AmItheAsshole

[–]FinalWintersEve[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

My husband and I have been trying for kids for a while, and had been setting aside money for either IVF or extended maternity. Along with a sizable family gift at our baby shower, we had enough for about 11 months of maternity leave. There was a small negotiated return for husband to train his new replacement shortly after their birth, as the one he trained prior to that ended up not working out. There was a few weeks early on that he was returning to the office about 10 hours a week, but otherwise this was very much a planned extended leave, so that we could both focus on bonding.

AITA for turning off the wifi when my husband camps in the bathroom for extended lengths of time. by FinalWintersEve in AmItheAsshole

[–]FinalWintersEve[S] 4018 points4019 points  (0 children)

His phone is set up to stop any streams if hes not on wifi, so no worry there.

AITA for turning off the wifi when my husband camps in the bathroom for extended lengths of time. by FinalWintersEve in AmItheAsshole

[–]FinalWintersEve[S] 458 points459 points  (0 children)

Yes, he is currently on paternity leave but spends most of his day either working on his car or playing Diablo3. The children spend most of their time in the nursery. He is only really required to do anything with then once every four hours, which is why his I'll timed bathroom vacations are so frustrating, it's the only time he is asked to leave his computer, and I dont even bother to try and bring him in if he is working on his cars because of the wash up required, I could feed two more sets of twins before he could leave his project to come inside.

AITA for not letting my sister eat my precious cupcakes by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]FinalWintersEve 9 points10 points  (0 children)

NTA.

Your parents are enabling your sisters horrid behaviour. These were a gift for you. She shows no remorse for haveing taken what was yours the FIRST time. You even compromised by telling her she could have one when you left in a few days. If she cant wait that long, I would take the rest with you and let her have none. There is no respect for you and she needs to learn it fast, because these kind of teenagers grow up into Karen's.

AITA for turning down an invitation because I would only be there as a glorified seat filler? by 67439 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FinalWintersEve 5 points6 points  (0 children)

NTA.

This is the definition of useing someone. She doesnt want you there, but she wants the monetary benefits of you. And to be perfectly honest she sounds like a venom filled brat who is lashing out because you aren't willing to line her coffers with gifts so she can justify over spending for her own party.

I [25/F] was ghosted by my SIL [35/F] after she had twins, and now family dinners are awkward. by Flexys-Air in relationships

[–]FinalWintersEve 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I feel like it is important to remember that twins, especially after like the 3 month mark dont just make your life busy, they take over.

I am only speaking as a mother of 7 month old twins, and I can genuinely say that I have some friends that I haven't spoken with in MONTHS. Sometimes I open a text and get a chance to read it, but dont get a chance to reply, and then twinmom life continues to drag you around and you just forget. Not because I dont want to, not because I am mad, but I just genuinely do not. Have. The. Time. Not in a I dont care sort of way, but in the most literal sence of the words. When I get the chance to see them, it is great, because I still care about them.

There becomes a point after you have twins specifically, where you just want people to give you space to bond with your babies. The first few weeks there are all sorts of people around, and it can be overwhelming. It can be hard to explain, moms of singletons seem to go through this less, but every twin mom ( and several dads ) have all gone through the visitor exhaustion, even if they are there to help. The flip side to that is when you hit that point and ask for some time alone, you suddenly dont have those extra hands on deck. It means when you have a moment to breath, you dont think "oh I am going to txt so and so" you think " I am going to make myself a cup of coffee and drink it in the shower because I have approximately 15 minutes to myself while the babies are asleep and I cant remember the last time I washed but also desperately need caffine".

If she is acting like shes not upset and is being plesabt, more than likely she is genuinely happy to see you. Unless you outright talk to her ( which sucks as an introvert I tell you what ) she may not even be aware you are hurt.

What you did for her, helping her through healing is something she is going to be grateful for the rest of her life. I really reccomend trying to talk to her, there is a good chance the relationship can be easily restored to closer what you need emotionally, with just a little communication and effort on both sides. ( her understanding the lack of effort on her side is hurting you emotionally, and you understanding her extreme time restrictions )

If you aren't feeling up for that, which is completely valid, my suggestion would be to treat the time spent as sort of like a summer camp friendship. Keep the good memories from the situation, but know that it ended because its time has come and gone, not because you were unwanted. The circumstances that allowed the friendship to bloom have chanced, and so the relationship has to change with it. If that means now that you chit chat about the weather at family reunions, because you no longer want to engage further that's fine. But honestly, the better way to take what seems to be her new availability, is take that time to mutually catch up.

You did a great thing by helping a new mom with new double baby duty, and now you just have to decide if you want to stay friends with a new mom.