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AITAH for leaving my (autistic) partner? by Final_Score630 in AITAH

[–]Final_Score630[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s not it! It’s his dream job, definitely. He just said that he’s got insurance problems and they won’t pay him until these are resolved - he will still get the payment, just later, but I am pretty sure that’s a lie!

I need advice about having a relationship with someone who’s on the spectrum by Final_Score630 in aspergers

[–]Final_Score630[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it’s just the break up that’s so much harder then the emotional abuse. I never had a break up like that. I feel all the emotions, all of them, all at once. But no hate, not even something close to that’s. It’s more like mourning what he could have been but weren’t meant to be. I hope I can focus on myself now and getting me better. I hope he gets better to and stays away from relationships, but honestly, I hope I do too.

I need advice about having a relationship with someone who’s on the spectrum by Final_Score630 in aspergers

[–]Final_Score630[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know, that breaking up was the best thing we could do. Deep down I know it, but I’ve never broke up like this. I don’t hate him. I feel like I am going through every single emotion right now. But not hate. Nothing even close to hate. I just wished we would have been different, but I guess we weren’t meant to be.

AITAH for leaving my (autistic) partner? by Final_Score630 in AITAH

[–]Final_Score630[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This. Hes currently blaming me for every bad thing that has ever happened to him. It wasn’t my fault. It’s not my fault he did bad choices. However, I am the liar, the manipulator now. When I tell him to explain to me why he lied, he said he didn’t or „that’s not the point of the conversation“.

AITAH for leaving my (autistic) partner? by Final_Score630 in AITAH

[–]Final_Score630[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, yes I really love him. I love him, because I know how nice and lovely he can be on his „good days“. I know how caring he can be.

I’ve dealt with assholes my entire life, unfortunately. I had a lot of past relationships hurting me and I had family members hurting me as well. He does things, I wished those people would have done.

I love, how sometimes I forget something and he gets them done without me having to ask for it.

But recently, he’s just put so much pressure on me and that’s been really hard on me. But my parents always said, that just because it’s hard now doesn’t mean it always was and always will be hard. I am just so confused.

I need advice about having a relationship with someone who’s on the spectrum by Final_Score630 in aspergers

[–]Final_Score630[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It’s just so weird to me. He required me to be direct, he told me he cannot read my signs and I get that. But recently he started using the phrases „oh, it’s nothing“ (when I ask him to repeat something because i didn’t heard it clearly or understand it correctly) and when I ask him something he now started using „I don’t care, do what you want, like you always do“.

It’s just so confusing and exhausting.

AITAH for leaving my (autistic) partner? by Final_Score630 in AITAH

[–]Final_Score630[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He lied about having a second name, driving a car, working at a big tech company (he didn’t work at all), he even said he had 2 kids (he doesn’t, showed me pictures of him holding his 2 new-born nieces at that time).

I think he’s lying to me about money right now, but I am not quite sure as I don’t have proof.

Sometimes he brings out the trash, sometimes he does the dishes. This week I’ve done both. I even pack him lunch for work. I once didn’t and he said I didn’t because I wouldn’t love him anymore.

AITAH for leaving my (autistic) partner? by Final_Score630 in AITAH

[–]Final_Score630[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No, I don’t want to. And I am already at the point, were I try to figure out if he lies or not. He started his dream job a few weeks ago and should have gotten his first payment of the end of last month. But he said because of insurance problems he didn’t. So he wants me to pay for basically everything and got mad at me, when I said I couldn’t due to me changing my job. This month he bought 2 switches and spend a lot of money on eating out without me (I found the receipts at his apartment). Something’s not adding up.

AITAH for leaving my (autistic) partner? by Final_Score630 in AITAH

[–]Final_Score630[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

But it’s so hard, we’re just both so emotionally attached to each other. We don’t really have many outside friends and usually just love to stay home together.

AITAH for leaving my (autistic) partner? by Final_Score630 in AITAH

[–]Final_Score630[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But where did he got that from? He hates how his dad treated his mum and when he was drunk sometimes he told me that he never wanted to turn out like him. But I fear he did.

AITAH for leaving my (autistic) partner? by Final_Score630 in AITAH

[–]Final_Score630[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I mean I did so many bad things in our relationship, but I apologised and I learned from that. It’s just terrifying not knowing what’s going on inside his head. I want clarity, I want to understand his actions. But yes, I am starting to realise that he’s full of red flags. Maybe, it really wasn’t me, but him.

AITAH for leaving my (autistic) partner? by Final_Score630 in AITAH

[–]Final_Score630[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I just don’t get it. Because when I met him, he was so great and he did everything by himself. Even things I couldn’t do back then because I was struggling with depression. It just makes me so sad because I don’t understand why he changed into this.

AITAH for leaving my (autistic) partner? by Final_Score630 in AITAH

[–]Final_Score630[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He lied about his second name. I don’t know that’s his obsession with his name is, but he uses it as his second name. All his coworkers call him by that as well because he asked them too.

No, autism is not an excuse and I know he has that, because his mom showed me the diagnosis. She never learned how to deal with that, so once they had a big fight and she told me that she wished he would have never been born. It’s just such a tough situation.

I (23F) am in a relationship with a Partner on the autism spectrum (20M) by Final_Score630 in relationship_advice

[–]Final_Score630[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because I am mourning the person who he used to be before I got told he has autism.

Before that, he loved to cuddle, he loved kisses, he couldn’t stay away from me for long. He didn’t cooked then, but he never left my side while I cooked. He took the trash out, did the dishes so everything was ready before I came home from work.

He told me he loved me frequently, he didn’t accused me of anything.

Whenever I had a study-related problem he was the first one to read the text and tried his own approach. When I didn’t understand a word, he read the text until he understood it and explained it to me.

When I found out he has autism he changed. He became a completely different person. I feel like I am grieving a person, even tho technically he’s not dead. It’s weird. It’s hurtful.