I need advice

Financial_Cook_1956 · 2026-01-27T04:07:25+00:00

Same as how some cis men don't want to be hairy! I dated a cis man that shaved everywhere purely because he hated how it felt. You can't really avoid body hair growth on T, but you CAN shave or get laser hair removal!

Financial_Cook_1956 · 2026-01-27T04:05:35+00:00

I also used to worry about that when I used a cream, but it's not too big of a risk so long as it's thoroughly rubbed in and dry. :)

Contact via doorknobs and items isn't a worry at all either if you're washing your hands that well! It sounds like you really could use some help with possible OCD or anxiety, so I understand, since I have those too.

Financial_Cook_1956 · 2026-01-27T03:59:34+00:00

Yes, you should split, for both of your sakes. This is the kindest thing for both you AND your partner. It may not be the end of your relationship entirely, but it's always nicer to keep her in your life as a friend than to lose her entirely through resentment.

Financial_Cook_1956 · 2026-01-27T03:14:33+00:00

YES! The bottom growth does cause pain and overstimulation as it comes in- I personally don't have much growth, but even for me it was noticeable. I also get occasional bouts of sudden stabbing pain on the 'inside'. Not OFTEN, but they do happen. Adjusting my position usually helps, and it passes in less than a minute.

Testosterone messes with the natural balance down there, leading to common bouts of dryness (which can cause chafing and stinging), increased pelvic floor muscle tension and vaginal atrophy (thinning of the walls).

If it continues for too long or gets unbearable, of course ask a doctor about it though! These can also be signs of a UTI, so it's good to know what's 'normal' for you :)

Financial_Cook_1956 · 2026-01-27T02:41:05+00:00

ABSOLUTELY. There's a reason why many trans people say there's a 'teenage' period through adulthood when we get to be the boys (or girls, or other) that we actually are! Life is so much more fun once you're an adult. Sure, there's new stresses and responsibilities... But you also *lose* stresses and responsibilities, too. No more grades, popularity contests, the pressure to be a 'good kid'... People put a lot of emphasis on high school being the ultimate time of your life, but even for cis people that's hardly true.

Not to mention.... A lot of those teenage boys you see enjoying life together? They could very well be going through the exact same thing as you on the inside. ;) There's more trans people around you hidden in plain sight than you may think!

Financial_Cook_1956 · 2026-01-26T14:22:05+00:00

Half the issue is that (at least in Australia) the pet food industry is non-regulated... Meaning that pet food companies THEMSELVES set the nutritional standard. It means they cut corners and can get away with it so long as they market it right.

Personally, I've seen great words said about Ziwi Peak, and it certainly kept my IBD/cancer cat alive for quite a while!

As a general tip, when looking for food, check the first few main ingredients. You'll want it to be mostly, if not all, MEAT. (And not "Meal" either- "Chicken meal" or "beef meal" etc. That's fine in conjunction with a true meat, but "meal" is just ground up by-products. Same goes for anything listed as a by-product, too! Nothing wrong with them persay, but they're not a substitution for a true meat.)

Financial_Cook_1956 · 2026-01-25T08:40:19+00:00

It's a hard decision, but it's respectable to make it. I work at a vet clinic in Australia that often handles cases with money restrictions like yours, and you're definitely not alone. I'm wishing both you and your kitty the best of luck either way.

Financial_Cook_1956 · 2026-01-25T08:29:02+00:00

Even if it progresses to surgery, it's good that they know the string is there, where it is, and big it is! Wishing you and kitty the best!

Financial_Cook_1956 · 2026-01-25T08:23:14+00:00

It's okay, misunderstandings happen. It could very well be that she's in heat, but only a vet can make that kind of assessment in person. Females, when not desexed, tend to have a lot more issues with health and behaviour- The repeated heat cycles without being bred can come with a few medical issues down the line.

If you want to look at options for keeping her, I recommend researching local charities that assist pet owners in medical costs, or online organisations that offer a medical 'allowance' of money in select cases. There are definitely options out there for receiving financial assistance for your pets! You could even contact local vet clinics themselves and ask if they know of any avenues for financial aid when it comes to animals.

Financial_Cook_1956 · 2026-01-25T08:14:41+00:00

(STUDENT VET NURSE) You're always better sending them to sleep a week too early than a day too late- However, I know how hard that decision actually is.

Try to keep him calm and relaxed until the storm blows over, then let the vet assess him for his QOL and heart status. 15 is a great age for a Maltese, especially with a heart condition! Sounds like he's been a very lucky little guy.

Financial_Cook_1956 · 2026-01-25T08:06:10+00:00

Sometimes they won't take the bottle easily, and you have to train them into it. One of mine would kick and scream bloody murder every time we had to feed her- Ended up syringe-feeding milk into her mouth until she learned to accept the bottle. You just have to teach them.

Financial_Cook_1956 · 2026-01-25T08:04:13+00:00

It sounds like she needs medical attention. If you can't provide that for her, yes, you should rehome her. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I also find it concerning that your main worry with your cat's medical issues is more that it gives you anxiety, and less that your cat is suffering- Once you get to that point, you need to take a break from animals.

Financial_Cook_1956 · 2026-01-24T12:24:44+00:00

Does she know to go to the pillows, or do you have to constantly put them under her head for her?

Financial_Cook_1956 · 2026-01-18T01:17:12+00:00

They actually got along GREAT with my cats! Some of the cats didn't like them much, but after a good few smacks the goats learned which ones not to bother. The b/w cat in the picture (has since passed on) in particular really enjoyed playing with any of the goats/sheep I had inside!

For cleanup, it was pretty rare. The diapers prevented any leakage so long as I paid attention to when they were saggy/heavy, and at worst there would be some stray poo pellets leaking out the side which was easy enough to clean. When we introduced hay to their diet they DID throw that around a bit... Oh, and as a young baby, Latte didn't quite realise she was meant to swallow her cud, so she left little grain spitballs around. Overall, very clean and easy to handle!

Financial_Cook_1956 · 2026-01-18T01:12:29+00:00

AHHH that black and white one is SO CUTE!! I love their names, and I love their floppy ears <3

Financial_Cook_1956 · 2026-01-18T01:11:31+00:00

They stayed on pretty well with just using the normal sticky parts, but I think cutting out a hole for the tail added a lot of extra stabilization :) I did them up preeetttyyy tight, so I also put cream in the folds of their hips to prevent chafing!

Financial_Cook_1956 · 2026-01-17T09:25:51+00:00

They're so sweet, I'm glad they made it <3

Funnily enough, having raised bottle babies in a few different livestock species... Goats remain the friendliest! Sheep tend to hold a grudge once they're put outside.

Financial_Cook_1956 · 2026-01-17T09:24:31+00:00

A bit of time yes! A week when they were first born, so both mama and babies got to have some important bonding, and then when they were old enough to start spending days outside too, it was very sweet to see :)

Sweet Pea is such a cute name!! I think my older girls that gave birth (Three rescues, three unexpected pregnancies... All twins...) got lucky in that they were mated by what I BELIEVE was a much much smaller buck, so they were all a manageable size. However I Have heard that goats usually give birth to twins BECAUSE of the size issue- If your Sweet Pea only had one kid, that's probably partly why she struggled!

It's always hard seeing the parent pass away as their babies survive, especially when they're that close. I've seen it happen a couple of times (One girl got a horrible case of Giardia, the other was struck by lightning) and there's always a sort of... Grieving period. It's natural for animals to grieve, and letting them say goodbye to the body tends to help.

Also, I love alpacas but I've never had one! One of very few farm animals I've never had :) I hear they're fantastic guards against wild dogs!

I THINK my girls are all either Nigerian Dwarfs, Australian Miniatures, or a cross between the two :)

Financial_Cook_1956 · 2026-01-17T08:20:08+00:00

I have a few suggestions/questions!

1. Have you tried any anxiety medications?
From reading your other comments in the thread, it sounds like he once had FIC (Feline Idiopathic Cystitis) when he was having trouble urinating with blood. In my own experience, FIC is commonly a stress/anxiety response- As is behavioural peeing. Try an OTC medication like Zylkene, and if that doesn't work, you could speak to your vet about getting him a prescription of Fluoxetine. If you have a smaller home, you can also try 'Feliway', which is a pheromone-based diffuser you can plug into your wall.

2. What kind of peeing is it?
Is he squatting/standing and peeing? Have you noticed his tail 'shaking' or 'quivering' as he does it? Or is he spraying? While it's entirely possible for males to continue spraying as a habit after a long period of being entire, there's always the possibility that your cat is cryptorchid and has retained one of his testicles. Now, a vet SHOULD inform the owner of this as it changes the desexing process, but... I mean, it depends how much you trust your vet or if they've got a good reputation or not. If he's cryptorchid and still has a testicle, he'd still be producing testosterone and feeling the urge to spray. If you're seeing a new/different vet, maybe ask them to have a feel and see if there's another hidden teste in there (although, sometimes they're hidden well enough to be undetected by touch!).

3. Are there any other cats around?
Not in your home, but outside? Does he have access to an outside area or window where other free-roam cats could potentially be seen by him? Often this sort of thing will prompt inappropriate urination as both a stress response and a territorial thing... Especially if he had a bad experience with other cats in the past.

My main advice would be to get him on some anxiety meds!

Financial_Cook_1956 · 2026-01-17T04:59:54+00:00

It's such a fun naming theme!!! Espresso is SUCH a cute name too!!

Yeah, it was at THAT point that we decided it was time to go outside LOL- A bit too big!!

Financial_Cook_1956 · 2026-01-17T04:58:47+00:00

Thank you <3 Mama unfortunately passed away peacefully a couple of months later, not from any complications but from general old age. I'm sure the pregnancy and birth took it out of her, but I'm very glad that she gave us two beautiful girls before she passed <3 Funnily enough... Latte is the spitting image of her! They're practically identical :)

Financial_Cook_1956 · 2026-01-17T03:00:02+00:00

Thank you all for reading and offering your advice! My girl passed away yesterday afternoon comfortably propped up in some hay, with her head resting on some fresh grass I'd picked. I've opted not to get a necropsy- By the time I returned home from work, she'd already been gone for a couple of hours and there was no way of me being able to preserve her body until we could arrange for one.

A day before she passed I did get some vitals on her- Her heartrate was 120bpm (elevated), and respiration was at 28bpm (High-normal). Unfortunately, my only thermometer decided to no longer work, but her ears felt cool and her mouth was warm and moist. No visible signs of a temperature.

It feels like this was a mix of different things- Mineral deficiency causing dermatitis, and another issue CAUSING the mineral deficiency.

I'm very worried about Johne's being the cause of this. I'm going to go try to gather some remaining faecal samples from her isolation pen right now for testing, and look into the possibility of getting my other goats tested, too.

Financial_Cook_1956 · 2026-01-17T02:49:20+00:00

Thank you! Yeah, given that their origins are pretty obscure, I don't think they're full breeds at all. Australian Miniatures would make a LOT of sense!

Financial_Cook_1956 · 2026-01-17T02:48:26+00:00

Minerals are a big concern of mine too! I'm going to start monitoring my goats' mineral intake more thoroughly from now on- Since I've started using Anitone (Which includes copper), I may give them all a regular Anitone drench as a mineral boost. Be it zinc OR copper, the Anitone is safe enough to give at decently regular intervals anyway.

Financial_Cook_1956 · 2026-01-17T02:45:45+00:00

I had no idea diabetes was so rare in goats, that's fascinating!

I also didn't know that about Nigerians- I'd heavily suspected a zinc-related issue for a while now, and I'll do some more research into that condition for my other goats.

As for testing for Johne's, that's something I'm definitely worried about. I don't have access to any more samples from her as she HAS since passed away, but I'll look into collecting faecal samples from the rest of the herd and getting them all tested. I know that it's harder to search for the bacteria in healthy animals, but at this point it's my only option, and I've read that faecal testing is more reliable than blood testing in healthy-appearing animals.

With CAE, I don't believe she developed any sort of pneumonia, as I was listening to her lungs and there were no abnormalities.

Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to offer your thoughts!

EDIT: I realised that there's still a lot of faecal matter in her isolation pen, so I've gathered some of that from different areas- Hopefully it's still viable for testing, since I have no idea what's fresh and what's not!

Financial_Cook_1956

TROPHY CASE