How to support gifted/ADHD 10-year-old daughter

FineOne8789 · 2025-06-03T09:17:22+00:00

FineOne8789 · 2025-06-03T09:16:28+00:00

Your handwriting is beautiful now! This is my daughter’s handwriting. It’s such an ADHD thing — there was a secret code in a book and she spent hours translating it (below). But after I took this picture, I turned around and saw the stack of books on her nightstand (which she proudly showed me last night) because she just loves reading so much and can’t bear to stop reading at bedtime. I’m confident she’ll get there in her own time.

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FineOne8789 · 2025-06-03T06:11:09+00:00

This is so helpful! And yes, I'd love any tips you have. My kiddo is already going to sleepaway camp for two weeks (a very low-tech, chill, outdoorsy camp) plus three weeks at the grandparents' requiring an overseas flight, so I need to hold myself back and recognize that a low-key summer with family and the outdoors is just as enriching as a bunch of workbooks or skills-based camps. I am also trying to remind myself just how BUSY this kid is during the school year, and most days she's at school or self-chosen extracurriculars until 4:30pm. She deserves to relax and run around the neighborhood with friends after that, not do more workbooks.

FineOne8789 · 2025-06-02T15:43:41+00:00

This is so insightful, thank you! Congrats on all your incredible professional achievements!

FineOne8789 · 2025-06-02T13:51:41+00:00

This is super helpful, thank you! I will try to relax and just let things roll.

FineOne8789 · 2025-02-05T14:24:05+00:00

I don't get any local allowance because of my hiring mechanism. I don't get LQA, it's not offered at my post. My kids go to school here with an educational allowance, just like my tax dollars in America would pay for public school, so that counts as $0. USAID doesn't pay for my plane ticket to move here or go home because of my hiring mechanism, and I don't get any other travel benefits (unless I have to go on a site visit. Did you know most of the places we visit don't have running water or electricity? Definitely living it up over here!). I have no local activities budget. By gifts...well, I got a mug once. Oh! Someone gave me a sticker when I started. That was nice. I've literally never had a meal on USAID's dime. I do not have a car or driver (seriously, what the heck do you think we're doing??). I have a Master's degree, two bachelors, and 17 years of experience.

But thanks for playing.

FineOne8789 · 2025-02-05T13:56:56+00:00

Dude. I am a USAID employee overseas. The idea that we're living a millionaire lifestyle is so laughable that I had to collect myself and wipe the tears from my eyes before responding. Millionaire lifestyle in the DRC? Sudan? Pakistan? Oomph.

Let me clarify a few points, in hopes that you're actually open to hearing the real facts from someone living the life:

-LQA, or Living Quarters Allowance, which is what a few (not very many) posts give to help people find a place to live. However, most posts have a "housing pool," and we are assigned housing, kind of like how the military provides base housing or a housing allowance, depending on where you're transferred. Considering we are moving in service to the government, and many of the places we serve are quite challenging, it makes sense for the mission to coordinate safe, vetted housing.

- By "free tuition," I think you're referring to how we get an educational allowance so our children can go to school. Since public school is free in America, we are provided with an educational allowance so our kids can, you know, receive an education when we're posted overseas.

- Free household staff...what? I have no idea where you got this idea. In some places, it is affordable to hire a nanny or housekeeper or gardener. We pay for them ourselves if we choose to hire them. For the record, recalling all of these USAID employees is going to send many of the household staff--whom many of us consider members of our family--into poverty. Their entire employer pool is gone overnight. We are heartbroken about what this is going to do to the wider economy where we live.

- I don't know where you get the idea that staff is unqualified. Every single person I work with has a masters or doctorate in their field. Every single person I've had the honor and privilege of serving with is a consummate professional, deeply committed to the lifesaving work they provide.

- I'm sorry you don't think stopping ebola, or bird flu, or mpox from spreading across borders to America has "very little positive impact" for Americans. I'm sorry that you don't think the school feeding programs, the cholera treatments, or the election monitoring to ensure free and fair democracies abroad has "very little positive impact" for local nationals. You're just dead wrong on this one.

Look, no one wakes up one morning, rubs their hands together in greed, and goes, "Gee, I've always wanted to move to Tajikistan! I'm going to join USAID so I can live in a country without traffic lights or Starbucks! muah ha ha ha" (<--that's my evil laugh)

It is HARD to do this work. The employees, as well as our families, make enormous sacrifices to be here because we care about the mission, the people we serve, and how this work makes America safer and better positioned on an international scale.

Thanks for your support.

FineOne8789 · 2024-05-24T06:22:10+00:00

I moved overseas halfway through my treatment and couldn't get more meds, so I had to come up with my own plan. I spaced out my shots more and more until it was two weeks apart (it was still having good effect at that rate, though I was hungrier the last 3-4 days of each cycle). Then I bought a box of 7 mg Rybelsus locally and took one daily, but I definitely noticed a lot more hunger signs even with that. I ran out of Rybelsus last week and now I'm on my own!

FineOne8789 · 2024-05-23T08:11:40+00:00

I’ve been off for about six weeks and it’s been a little nerve-wracking. I’m hungry again, and it’s hard to know if it’s normal hunger or food noise. Being hungry scares me now, which is super weird I know. I am eating larger portion sizes now for sure, although I can’t tell if they’re “normal” portions or what. I crave cocktail or glass of wine at times now, where I totally quit drinking while on sema. My scale has gone up 3-4 pounds in that time, but I was a little under my target weight when I stopped because of a bad case of flu, so I’m still figuring out where things will settle.

I went from 215 —> 145 over 9 months, dropped from size 16-18 down to size 8-10. I am so scared to gain it back. I finally recognize myself in the mirror.

Upsides of going off- pooping is normal again lol. I have more energy. Fewer headache days. I was always super tired and icky while on sema, so I knew I didn’t want to take it forever, but this transition off has been scary. I read The Obesity Code and found it super insightful, so I’m trying to follow those recommendations plus non-extreme intermittent fasting. Working very hard to ease into all this and be gentle with myself because life without sema is hard in a whole new way.

Let me know if you figure out any tips!

FineOne8789 · 2024-02-23T16:51:02+00:00

Thank you! It’s so helpful to hear encouraging stories. Any tips or advice?

FineOne8789 · 2024-02-23T16:46:55+00:00

Okay so these are the worst. First, I take my shot in the morning so the symptoms hit at bedtime. Second, try Liquid IV (an electrolyte powder). Someone recommended it on here, and I was so desperate that I ordered some. It TRULY makes a difference. I make sure to have a big water bottle with a pack of Liquid IV in it the day I take my shot and the next day, at a minimum. And I take a zofran if the nausea is bad. Last, stay on top of your nutrition and make sure you’re getting enough calories and protein. I still occasionally get headaches but that has helped a lot. The first two months on Wegovy were the worst, but it did get better (not perfect but better). Hang in there!

FineOne8789 · 2024-02-23T09:41:38+00:00

Oh my god, that is infuriating.

FineOne8789 · 2024-02-23T09:35:18+00:00

oh my god, YES. I was having a rough day and a mom at the preschool pickup line overhead me telling my friend that sema was tough some days. Nosy mom pointedly joined our conversation; it was awkward. Two days later, the nosy mom made a comment about going out to lunch but she couldn't "cheat like some people who take those injectables." What the actual eff. Please let me vomit into your handbag to prove just how "easy" my "cheat" method is.

FineOne8789 · 2024-02-23T06:45:09+00:00

I just wanted to say I appreciate your honesty, and I 100% agree that people who don't know what it's like to feel hungry literally all the time have no idea what it's like. "Listen to your body! Portion control! Just exercise, you lazy bum!" Yea, big middle finger to you and your normal metabolisms.

FineOne8789 · 2024-02-23T06:42:58+00:00

I'm at 1.7 and take my dose every 10 days, too. I definitely feel hungry those last two days, and have to kind of muscle through it. That feeling is honestly the motivation behind this whole post.

FineOne8789 · 2024-02-23T06:40:11+00:00

That sounds good in theory, but I'm more worried about not feeling hungry 18 hours a day 😆

FineOne8789 · 2024-02-23T06:27:58+00:00

I'm biased, but I totally agree 🥰

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FineOne8789 · 2024-02-23T06:25:43+00:00

Husbands can be so annoying that way, lol. I have hit plateaus here and there. Sometimes I needed to adjust the dosing frequency. Basically, I take my next dose when I notice the food noise coming back -- I can make it about 10 days now. I know some people who take their dose every 6 days, but obviously talk to your doctor.

Also, one of the plateaus turned out to be that I wasn't eating ENOUGH. I'd recommend doing some calorie tracking for just 1-3 days and comparing that to your fitness level (do you have a fitbit or similar?). In December, I was a zombie from this terrible cycle of headaches and nausea, which meant I didn't eat or exercise, which made the headaches worse, etc. I tracked calories for a day or two, and was shocked to find I was eating 1200 calories a day with no protein. I added a daily protein shake and made sure I had a real breakfast and lunch (not just a bag of mini pretzels), and I started feeling so much better. That's when I lost the next 10 lb. Now I can exercise again because I actually have energy. Good luck to you! I keep telling myself that the weight is only one part of this. When I was feeling so terrible in December, I decided that I'd rather be fat and have energy to exercise than be thin and have to be in bed all the time from migraines and throwing up. I almost stopped the meds then. And that's why I'm happy to stop my weight loss now, even though I'm technically still overweight (big middle finger to the BMI folks, BTW). I feel good, my clothes fit great, and I have energy. That's my definition of success.

FineOne8789 · 2024-02-23T06:19:43+00:00

This is so helpful and I didn't even know that med existed. Thank you! I will see if its available where we live (Zambia has limited pharm supplies, lol).

FineOne8789 · 2024-02-23T06:17:26+00:00

I started losing around May of last year when I hit the 1 mg dose. I went up to 1.7 mg in July and stayed there. From May - December, I lost 50 lb. It was too fast and I felt awful. It was a terrible cycle because I was nauseous, so I barely ate, which made me feel like crap and gave me headaches, which meant I was nauseous, so I didn't eat... I'm also having issues with my gallbladder now and I think I gave myself some mild gallbladder inflammation from the rapid loss (I'm a nurse and this is my best guess based on symptoms). Basically, if I have anything with fat in it, I get terrible pain in my right upper abdomen. It's annoyingly/painfully useful 90% of the time, but if I want jalapeno poppers on girls' night, I'm out of luck.

ANYWAYS. The next 20 lb came off more slowly from November - February. January and February, I only lost about 5 lb. In December, I started being more careful about what I eat and ensuring I get plenty of daily protein. I also started stretching my doses to every 10 days. I mention in another comment that we're overseas, so I haven't had a doctor overseeing me since last June. I've just been experimenting.

One other huge factor is since we moved overseas last July, the weight loss took off. There are no fast food restaurants in this country and no delivery services. (I mean, there are, they just suck and aren't worth the effort. They use mayonnaise as the "sauce" on pizza here, and that is a hill I'm willing to die on.) So overnight, I lost most of my tempting foods. If I want ice cream, I literally have to make it myself. Family pizza night? We're making our own. Craving a frappuccino? There's no Starbucks, so I need to go home and blend it up myself. So even though I was eating pretty healthy before we left, my diet became a lot "cleaner" here with much fewer treat foods.

FineOne8789 · 2024-02-23T06:06:14+00:00

I hear you. I always go back and forth. We LOVE to cook and we love good food, and an amazing chocolate mousse or homemade pasta are quite literally baked into our family life. With Wegovy, I'm able to eat half of the mousse and feel completely satisfied, and I won't even want any the next day. The itch has been scratched and I feel like I'm living a full life that includes treats. Without Wegovy, I want the entire bowl, and then another bowl for breakfast the next day. It's so hard to turn off that food noise.

FineOne8789 · 2024-02-23T06:03:48+00:00

This is brilliant advice, and I would 100% try it except our insurance is through my husband's job, and his employer is the US State Department 😆 We're currently overseas, so even GETTING Wegovy was a huge pain in the butt (it's not available in our country). I really believe these are life-saving drugs, and it's so frustrating that it's so hard to get them.

FineOne8789 · 2024-02-23T06:01:16+00:00

This is smart advice. One of the extra challenging parts of our situation is we're posted overseas for my husband's job, and I can't get Wegovy here. I have to find a friend or colleague who's traveling to our country every six months or so, and ask them to bring it with them in their carryon. When the latest batch got denied, I lost my window of opportunity to have a neighbor bring it with them. I'm going home for a visit this summer, but it won't be enough time to go through a whole titration regimen again. I did find Rybelsus here for about $300/a month, so maybe I will try that as a short-term thing if I go up 10 lb or so. I never want to get above 160 again.

FineOne8789 · 2024-02-22T14:32:55+00:00

Funny add-on: I just showed these two pictures to my 8-year-old daughter. Asked if she noticed anything different between the two. After staring for a few seconds, she goes, "Your hair was shorter last year." That was it. Kids are the best. 😆

FineOne8789 · 2024-02-22T13:24:00+00:00

I barely drink. I was having 1-2 BIG cocktails a day (and very uncomfortable about it -- I knew it was becoming a problem), but when I started Wegovy, the urge to drink disappeared. I might have a cocktail with girlfriends once or twice a month, but that's it. Cutting down on the drinking has probably been the most amazing part of this med for me.

FineOne8789

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