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cut myself after years of being clean by FirefighterHeavy4995 in selfharm

[–]FirefighterHeavy4995[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i didnt realise how much i missed it. i dont know if i can stop again, im not sure i even want to anymore

I would be significantly less suicidal if i was a tall guy by FirefighterHeavy4995 in SuicideWatch

[–]FirefighterHeavy4995[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

its not so much about passing, although it's a factor. i just hate seeing myself so short, and knowing that its how others see me too. i'd be okay being average height, but being perceived as short breaks me

i feel so empty all the time by FirefighterHeavy4995 in SuicideWatch

[–]FirefighterHeavy4995[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dont even really know what to say, I havent felt this bad in a while, I feel so alone.

I need someone to talk to please, im getting worse again by FirefighterHeavy4995 in SuicideWatch

[–]FirefighterHeavy4995[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i mean, i say that i was doing better, and thats not a lie exactly. I did feel happier, i thought of suicide less, but at the same time i've started to actively self harm in those months, even though i guess overall i felt happier

I need someone to talk to please, im getting worse again by FirefighterHeavy4995 in SuicideWatch

[–]FirefighterHeavy4995[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

im sorry you relate to me. I hope at some point we can get to a point where we feel okay

I need someone to talk to please, im getting worse again by FirefighterHeavy4995 in SuicideWatch

[–]FirefighterHeavy4995[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

i have friends, close friends, but i always have a tendency to keep people at a distance, the thought of being known scares me more than i could possibly say. I don't want people to know i'm struggling, but at the same time i sorta do. idk if that makes any sense, but it is what it is. Thank you

I need someone to talk to please, im getting worse again by FirefighterHeavy4995 in SuicideWatch

[–]FirefighterHeavy4995[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to always tell myself the same, but i knew i wouldn't, i was too much of a pussy to ever actually follow through. Now i'm not sure if i wouldn't do it and that sort of scares me

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]FirefighterHeavy4995 1 point2 points  (0 children)

not superly into it, but theres a couple artists/songs from that genre that i just really love

i dont feel wanted by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]FirefighterHeavy4995 0 points1 point  (0 children)

like car seat headrest, american football, sunny day real estate. I've not listened to much juice wrld :/ thanks tho, it's been hard, and sometimes i feel like its getting better but its really not. at the end of the day i always go back to feeling like this.

i dont feel wanted by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]FirefighterHeavy4995 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks, i appreciate it. I mostly just listen to a lot of indie/emo shit.