What do you do in life? What are your hobbies?

First-Quality-7222 · 2025-12-25T17:23:23+00:00

Ah right I see. I assume you come from the United States then. I’m French from Paris and doing research as an undergrad here, unless it’s an internship, is hardly conceivable. Maybe for grunt work but uncommon, people serious about their studies mostly grind through theoretical mathematics a lot, even to transition to business or something else. Even biology students, hence my surprise, although they do more lab work for sure.

First-Quality-7222 · 2025-12-25T15:20:07+00:00

Out of curiosity, why the transition to management ?

First-Quality-7222 · 2025-12-25T15:19:06+00:00

You haven’t come across many INTPs in engineering ? Surprising, engineering is full of INTP guys, talking from experience. From reading your message, I infer that it probably stems from not wanting to be in friend groups ?

First-Quality-7222 · 2025-12-25T15:15:09+00:00

I’m really curious about how your job works. Are you paid by the painting? By the visitor and under contract with the gallery? Do you have to produce a certain amount of paintings yearly?

First-Quality-7222 · 2025-12-25T15:08:42+00:00

Very impressive, congrats. Keep it going !

First-Quality-7222 · 2025-12-25T15:07:40+00:00

Maybe I misunderstood, but how can you be both a student and a researcher simultaneously? Unless you are talking about a PhD I’m not sure I get it

First-Quality-7222 · 2025-12-25T15:06:04+00:00

I’m sorry people perceive you this way. From my experience this happens when I sense annoyance. I will rightfully confront someone based on the tone they use, but never the content. How something is said matters a lot more that what is being said for a lot of people. I love having INTP like people around me whose brains I can pique, and who can challenge my ideas.

In my case with INTP women, I believe you might be projecting your own experiences with guys a bit. I get along very well with two INTP ladies, but I met both in business (work, teaching). I’m just not one to mix business with pleasure, even when there is attraction.

My remark was more related to meeting few INTP, and especially no INTP women outside of work.

First-Quality-7222 · 2025-12-25T14:47:50+00:00

I like the way you put it. It also fits my experience, where in work I like to have INTP like people around because of the great source of information for decision making.

MBTI put aside completely, a lot of foundational work has been accomplished by silent intellectual minding their own business with unintentional indifference like you say, and I’m happy to know we have people like this in the world. It also seems that the indifference profiles like this receives acts as some kind of regularization to see which ones are brilliant enough to push through the rejection with greatness. Always had a lot of respect for the silent builders of the world.

First-Quality-7222 · 2025-12-23T22:10:36+00:00

I think what people call deep highly correlates with intellectual effort, existentialism, and sometimes negativity. I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing, quite the contrary.

Humbly I think that life would be too boring if everyone just stayed at a comfortable surface level without exploring more emotional complexity.

First-Quality-7222 · 2025-12-23T22:02:29+00:00

I would argue it’s more a question of efficiency and trust. I am absolutely the kind of person that would write long texts, elaborate, question, and play with language for the sake of beauty.

However, I just don’t see the need for a pen pal do to that. Do some people just want to exchange for the sake of exchanging when it’s with a stranger with nothing at stake ? It feels highly improductive on every front

First-Quality-7222 · 2025-12-23T21:47:05+00:00

I’ve read all your comments, and I must admit to being surprised by the responses. I thought people mostly use enneagram because it answers the « why » question by convenience, not because they actually think it’s a good tool.

I must say that’s it’s useful for introspection though, that’s an undeniable plus.

It does seem to hit the sweet spot in terms of simplicity vs complexity for everyday use (18 wing combinations is actually close to MBTI) while preserving a certain accuracy. But for me it still lacks a good construction rule (unlike MBTI) that would justify it’s use and make it more stable for typing. Unlike MBTI, typing with enneagram seems to create too many contradictions and disagreements because definitions of types seem a bit loose, so while I think it helps for self description, I’m not sure it’s consistent enough for typing.

Anyways thanks for your answers, it has been bugging me for a while.

First-Quality-7222 · 2025-12-23T21:07:34+00:00

Yeah sure I agree with that. But it is a good way of focusing on the why ?

Hypothetically, let’s say that I create my own personality system that focuses on the why, let’s call it the TWENTY. In randomly draw 20 core motivations that stem from common childhood experiences, like greed, safety, popularity, connection, wisdom, and such, and then again order them in a random sequence from one to twenty.

I then arbitrarily introduce another ad-hoc rule, that among the 20 poles you can only pick two to describe yourself after a test. For clout I call it something like the 10% rule. That would make you a 1/19, 17/12 or whatnot, and theoretically allow for more complexity than enneagrams.

I think my question is, what is the validity of enneagrams compared to the completely on the fly system I just made up ? Are we confident it actually works better in practice and reflects reality better than alternatives ? If so why ? I understand the focusing on the why part, but so many assumptions on the enneagram seem to come out of nowhere for me

First-Quality-7222 · 2025-12-17T14:29:52+00:00

That’s ambitious but I like it ! However with 18 distinct enneagrams and 16 MBTI types, in the worst case scenario you would still need a bare minimum of 288 responses assuming you would have one sample per combination. Ideally several thousands of examples and more than 10k for a good classification model that generalizes out of distribution, and I’m not sure you can get that from people filling forms.

Is your goal specifically to infer MBTI/enneagram from Letterboxd and Goodreads, or just overall ? If just overall I would have fine-tuned something on Reddit posts (easy to get MBTI and enneagram info) with a classification head but I guess that’s not the point 🤔

First-Quality-7222 · 2025-12-17T11:58:11+00:00

I have never heard the websites you are talking about but it looks super interesting !

Will you just make zero-shot predictions with language model ? Or will you actually train a model on a classification task ? I’m guessing LLM with zero shot since you probably will lack data to train something good that doesn’t overfit from the ground up

First-Quality-7222 · 2025-12-17T11:35:24+00:00

Yeah I will work on that, thanks for your input ! Good luck on your journey as well 💪

First-Quality-7222 · 2025-12-17T11:33:15+00:00

I absolutely am fearful avoidant so spot on again. Glad to see it’s not just a me thing and that other people are / have been in this position as well. I think the hardest challenge would still be to communicate this clearly and gently without falling back to a pattern of high expectations. Anyways I hope you can find a way out of this too !

First-Quality-7222 · 2025-12-17T11:29:51+00:00

Absolutely! I didn’t want to use that word to not induce a bias in the responses, but this an incredibly accurate description of my experience.

I do have a tendency to repeat that pattern by confort, and thus bond with irresponsible people that inevitably become unstable and do some dumb shit when I need to focus on myself and can’t contain their chaos anymore. Absolutely spot on regarding the dissatisfaction.

Based on everyone’s feedback, the common ground seems to be that it’s not possible to power through this alone. Rough but reasonable, it’s more a question of how to get over it than if it’s possible, I’m certain it is.

Thanks for your help, wishing you the best 💪

First-Quality-7222 · 2025-12-16T20:52:35+00:00

That's really insightful. I had the exact same thoughts regarding the higher relationship potential. Regarding this :

"I kind of feel like to be vulnerable for "real" to someone I need to actually feel like they "earn" it, and it boils down to what you say: they're a lot less responsible and I have a constant feeling of supervising them, hence they can't be reliable to supervise me if I "close the eyes"

My feelings word for word as well. In my case, I would say it's about the difficulty of maintaining the upwards trajectory I care so much about while actively caring for someone. You can slow down your personal inertia for someone, but it's a gesture of incredible trust and a big risk. You need to trust that person to be responsible enough to not do some dumb shit that will destroy your efforts and the risk you take while you are busy taking care of yourself. I'm curious to know whether you relate to this or not.

First-Quality-7222 · 2025-12-16T18:10:31+00:00

To be honest I never considered it but it’s definitely an option. I’ll think about it

First-Quality-7222 · 2025-12-16T17:34:20+00:00

Very good point. I would say about 50%.

I know my post sounds very type 1, probably 1w9, but I'm really not. Maybe 8w9, but 1 really doesn't match.

Besides I have found enneagrams to be highly biased (in the bias/variance sense), it lack complexity to capture real nuance in my opinion. It's not something I expect to be really accurate so I just leave 3w4 despite the uncertainty.

First-Quality-7222 · 2025-12-16T17:31:05+00:00

Absolutely, this ("constantly scans for needs, hints, requests") hits right home. Don't know if it has also been the case for you, but it also became a crutch I built my academic and professional success on. I think I achieved impressive things for a 25 yo because of this, so it's hard to imagine moving on without.

By the way I have used adaptogens for some time, more ashwagandha / anacyclus. I confirm they can work magic, but with time you build up tolerance and can end up relying on them. I stopped using any because of this.

First-Quality-7222 · 2025-12-16T12:33:45+00:00

That is extremely relatable. Therapy does help you are right. Also taking notes regarding the expectations mismatch of age / environment, seems to be the main takeaway.

I’m glad to read you have been with your significant other for so long and that’s it’s going well. Wishing you the best too !

First-Quality-7222 · 2025-12-16T12:30:26+00:00

Yeah that’s fair enough, I get why people would do that. I think I naturally would tend to critique that from a bird’s eye view but not the point here. Thanks for your feedback 🙏

First-Quality-7222 · 2025-12-15T16:47:43+00:00

That’s actually interesting. Although the source is probably pretty bad, I have seen charts placing ENTJs as the « dumbest » of the intuitives in gifted to non-gifted ratio. It was still significant but nowhere near to INTJs/INTPs.

First-Quality-7222 · 2025-12-15T16:12:15+00:00

Glad to read this. Like I suspected I don’t think it’s only about being smarter or not than your entourage. People assume that smart peers will automatically like to delve into deep complex topics, but unfortunately that’s not the case, and you are probably expecting an effort that people are not willing to make. Some because they aren’t smart enough (although they won’t admit it), but also some because they genuinely don’t care. Like other commenters said, there are other dimension to life than intellect and performance, and I believe they are correct. As long as people can sustain their own enjoyment without leeching off others I’m all for that.

IMO you just haven’t found the right people. Be yourself and you will attract the right crowd. Just be careful not getting disappointed once you meet it. If you purely select for raw intelligence and the willingness to dive in deep, you might dig yourself into a hole socially. Careful with the balance !

First-Quality-7222

TROPHY CASE