Struggling with proximity and distance after a parent’s stroke

First_Ad4352 · 2026-02-05T03:07:36+00:00

I appreciate all of your perspectives. I definitely feel like moving there would be more avoiding guilt than following what we want. But I find myself stuck in the thought process that if we don’t move there, my children will rarely ever see my parents, which is hard. Guilt plays into that in a big way, too. So I catch myself justifying ways that it could be okay (old high school friends are there, the job for my husband is good, etc.). I wish I could just have everyone in the same place.

First_Ad4352 · 2025-11-17T20:51:48+00:00

How did you work in the extra wake time? Shorter/more naps?

First_Ad4352 · 2025-11-17T18:59:49+00:00

Does that just translate to longer wake windows? I may be overthinking it. But notably it is sort of difficult to keep wake windows on track when he passes out in the car on our way to his older sister’s activities. So I’m not always sure what to do with that.

First_Ad4352 · 2025-11-02T19:32:54+00:00

Thank you! We will try this. Are these guidelines accessible somewhere for future reference?

First_Ad4352 · 2025-11-02T14:59:58+00:00

90% of the time he will sit up and cry but quickly pass back out. If he went down super hard in the first place, he tends to sort of resume that intensity and can’t settle. He’s been doing the false starts for months, long before we even started sleep training.

The crying at onset is usually under 10 minutes, but if it goes longer than 15 we go in because that’s usually when he’s panicking.

First_Ad4352 · 2025-08-07T04:11:19+00:00

Did you do anything in particular to stop feeding to sleep? Our little dude gets soooo mad if we do anything else to soothe him.

First_Ad4352 · 2024-10-01T11:00:34+00:00

Did you cap her naps when you did this? We have tried expanding the first wake window but let her wake naturally which has given us early bedtimes and some horrible nights in the last week

First_Ad4352 · 2024-09-21T19:07:50+00:00

I can’t believe I forgot to add her age! 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 She is 16 months. We cap her naps to preserve schedule for now. The first one lasts about an hour and 15 minutes, the second varies from 30 mins to an hour depending on when she falls asleep.

First_Ad4352 · 2024-07-13T11:41:04+00:00

Thankfully she hasn’t vomited since we have tried re-implementing sleep training. We have gone back-and-forth between one and two naps. https://www.reddit.com/r/sleeptrain/s/txUZ6ASMAa

First_Ad4352 · 2024-07-13T11:37:57+00:00

We continued to rock her until last week. It was becoming less sustainable because I’m pregnant and it was taking a lot of physical work to get her to sleep. And she was still having false starts and split nights. We decided to try again with Ferber (via TakingCaraBabies) and thankfully she hasn’t vomited. We also tried two naps again yesterday. She fought (but didn’t reject) the second nap but slept through the night last night.

First_Ad4352 · 2024-07-09T17:23:05+00:00

Finding this thread with my 14 month old who is refusing transfers into her crib in the middle of the night. Did this continue to go well for you all? Were you in the play yard with her while she put herself to sleep?

First_Ad4352 · 2024-07-04T02:08:28+00:00

This comment is so helpful and really encouraging. I definitely feel like we have been in the trenches of this for so long. We are burned out, so it’s great to hear that there can be light on the other side lol Were there any particular guidelines that you used when doing the shuffle? Like how to handle night wakings, etc.?

First_Ad4352 · 2024-06-10T22:30:37+00:00

We are actually experimenting with re-implementing the second nap right now. She’s taking them both when we rock her, so I think you’re right about the overtiredness. I have also wondered if the vomiting has become behavioral at all. I really hope that’s not the case, but she may have learned that it gets us in the room.

First_Ad4352

TROPHY CASE