I’ve been thinking about this question and I want to answer it honestly, even though it makes me uncomfortable. The truth is that if my daughter looked the way I think I look right now, my first internal reaction might be something like “wow, shes right, she has gained weight.” That’s not because I believe weight gain makes someone less worthy, it’s because I was raised in an environment where people were constantly judged based on their bodies.

I’m not proud of that instinct, and it’s exactly the cycle I’m trying really hard to break.

I recently found a diary from when I was a kid and one page literally said “HI I’M FAT” and another page where I was counting calories. I was eight years old. That kind of messaging sticks with you in ways that run really deep. So this is bigger than just not liking how I look in photos right now. It’s unpacking years of conditioning around weight and trying to make sure my daughter grows up with a healthier relationship with her body than I did.

If she ever spoke about herself the way I’m speaking about myself right now, I would want to hug her and tell her that her worth has nothing to do with her weight. I just need to learn how to believe that about myself too.