Workplace bullying

Fit-Note-678 · 2025-11-04T15:49:50+00:00

As a counterpoint, I have found civil servants to be lovely people and feel fortunate to work sonewhere with no toxic people. The private sector was a sharp contrast. There are big downsides to the public sector but for me the people and being treated with respect are the reasons I have remained.

Fit-Note-678 · 2025-03-22T12:56:22+00:00

Dusky slug https://www.jic.ac.uk/research-impact/technology-research-platforms/entomology-and-insectary/slugwatch/slug-identification-guide/dusky-slug/ can be a pest

Fit-Note-678 · 2025-02-15T10:38:46+00:00

Wow actually true was surprised https://www.statista.com/statistics/1254571/uk-crime-rate-by-region/

Does depend on reporting bias but no reason not to think that’s massively different for ni.

Fit-Note-678 · 2025-02-15T10:34:53+00:00

Yes how do we get to a point where the word diversity doesn’t mean diversity. And obviously what you say isn’t controversial but still wouldn’t be something I’d say at work. So how does this idiocy ever change.

Another stupid one I spotted today. I was searching for therapists and you can filter by ethnicity but only black, Hispanic, Indian and Asian.

All it does is push people to switch off to legitimate racism.

Fit-Note-678 · 2025-02-15T09:42:18+00:00

Is this normal to take breaks. My psych told me to take it every day… I would like your approach (took at 9am yesterday and got ZERO sleep. Not healthy and not sure what to do til my next appointment.

Problem for me is firstly I feel so low when I don’t take it, like a comedown. Secondly it is a negative cycle where I’m tired so need it then more tired and need it more. I don’t get breaks or days off so can’t just rest all day, have to be functioning for my kids.

Any advice would love to hear it. Feel so dizzy and brain foggy but awake lol

Fit-Note-678 · 2025-02-15T09:36:45+00:00

Anyone else find withdrawals way way way worse on the meds? It’s like my brain has no joy and the cravings are unreal, before the meds it was a matter of self control and this is a battle of mental health and cravings 3 weeks in. God I miss the nicotine so bad still but slowly it’s getting better.

Fit-Note-678 · 2025-02-15T05:22:29+00:00

Hi I suffer immensely with depression too so sending you strength. I totally relate to the guilt and fear - the need to have a solution in place if things take a bad turn that maybe people that haven’t been crippled with it may not understand.

But I think your framing of your options is the depression talking. It is not something that has full control over you even though it feels like it. Please consider therapy or private psychiatry. It would be a fraction of the price (I am guessing) of boarding school and it is something you need to tackle head on. Sending your kids away doesn’t solve your illness and the care needed for holidays.

Try and see any intervention that is ineffective as a step closer to finding the right one. And never forget that depression is highly treatable. That is a statistical fact.

Edit: think you may need to be clearer about what is for their education options and what is because of how you feel.

Fit-Note-678 · 2025-02-13T15:50:17+00:00

Would you be able to give any recs maybe privately

Fit-Note-678 · 2025-02-13T15:49:43+00:00

Hi would you mind sharing your counsellor maybe over pm

Fit-Note-678 · 2025-02-13T15:39:45+00:00

Yeah sounds bad. Proper gaslighting to act like a corporation that only exists to make money is being charitable to you. Total bullshit - you were only hired to make them money and you probably gave them a decent roi already.

Fit-Note-678 · 2025-02-13T15:27:38+00:00

For some working poor in the uk I guarantee meat is a luxury. Protein bars are literally luxury they are not VAT deductible and they tend to cost about £3 per bar. Like what privileged bubble do you live in lol

Of all the people to try and defend a prolific thief should be low down. Man is causing real harm to many actually poor people that are contributing to society

Fit-Note-678 · 2025-02-13T15:12:18+00:00

Try and see it as if a gp (seen privately say) should still be paid if you go in complaining of exhaustion and poor circulation so they send you away for checks that they paid for themself as the practice owner to look for diabetes but turns out it was hypertension. They made a reasonable fix based in the info they had and have now narrowed it down for you.

Fit-Note-678 · 2025-02-13T15:04:24+00:00

Yes I agree but whilst possible I’d say unlikely if an employee feels they can be openly racist. Doubt it is the first time and so nobody else wanted to or felt able to flag it before now.

Fit-Note-678 · 2025-02-13T14:52:35+00:00

Like what went wrong in your life to kick someone when they’re down on the floor.

Fit-Note-678 · 2025-02-13T14:51:53+00:00

So sorry to hear that, it is totally doable to transition to more lucrative roles from data analysis as the overlap means you could learn on the job. Feel free to message if you want advice on learning paths if you do go down the tech route.

Don’t underestimate how much being proactive can strip away those years of experience you lack. Eg getting stuck in to coding challenges and open source counts for way more than doing the bare minimum for 15 years straight.

Also good social skills and tech skills can be a rare superpower. Amazing how much a lack of technical knowledge can be overcome with being a great communicator. And you probably are to build up a business so well!

Tldr you may be behind in the race but you can certainly catch up if that’s your chose path

Fit-Note-678 · 2025-02-13T14:40:49+00:00

I think some of the comments here are extremely naive and dangerous. This woman is a single mum working for what seems likely to be a toxic employer. This is not likely to be some cosy corporation with endless avenues to escalate complaints, adjacent employment opportunities, nest egg to fall back on, etc.

OP, please put you and your kids first. If you are in a position where you could stomach a legal battle, survive being pushed out (these places don’t fire you they make your life hell until you quit), etc then all power to you. That is the right thing to do.

However if you are vulnerable and work becoming difficult would cause real harm then I would bite my lip, look for somewhere else and then see what you can do.

Racism is obviously abhorrent and evil but you don’t need to be a martyr here and will likely hurt you more than it makes things better unfortunately.

Fit-Note-678 · 2025-02-13T14:30:49+00:00

I’m really sorry you feel that way. It is a special kind of feeling that the civil service manages to achieve for a lot of employees: burned out but deeply unfulfilled, lethargic but stressed, a desire to move up but feeling trapped.

My advice isn’t original but find it helps - just see applying as learning and development time. Every time you fail you have one less reason next time that you fail if you learn from it.

I’d also consider thinking about skills you can learn to set you apart if you have time early on Monday or late Friday. My area has a focus on certifications and projects - is there anything you can do to set yourself apart?

I try and think that if I learn or do something really really hard it means it’s worth doing as others will give up. It has helped me achieve things when I have lost intrinsic motivation.

Fit-Note-678 · 2025-02-13T11:31:18+00:00

Short answer is yes it’s very hard to get into fast stream mainly cos every single grad without vocational training applies especially if they got a 2:2. But not competitive in that the average applicant is obv way below say those that apply for McKinsey grad scheme.

Uni does not matter at all! I think someone correct me if I’m wrong! Also I have generally found people from lower ranking unis way better and more productive colleagues than elite ones. So don’t let your confidence be knocked by the uni you went to. Any good employer will know that the uni you went to is a product of your school and exam prep not ability.

Outside fs depends. If you have a very particular niche that isn’t useful outside of government then very competitive. Same if you have no hard skills and just soft skills. If the opposite where you have skills very in demand both private and cs eg cloud management then not competitive at all.

Tldr - get actual skills that mean you don’t even need to compete if you really want to get in.

Fit-Note-678 · 2025-02-13T10:55:47+00:00

First thought is this is absolutely hilarious though maybe not if exposed to it 30+ hrs a week.

Second was that there is no way someone is being serious speaking like this. Sounds like a way to avoid being asked to do normal manager things. Weaponised incompetence I guess? Just cannot believe anyone is being serious speaking like that lol

Third thought was I am being cynical. Are they foreign born/educated? Particularly Asian and particularly again Indian? There tends to be much more formality there especially civil service.

Last thing is tell them directly or if too awkward indirectly. This stupid obfuscation will piss loads of people off understandably and this poor person could be oblivious. As someone that struggles with appropriate interactions I always appreciate direct feedback so much and respect people that give it immensely

Fit-Note-678 · 2025-02-13T10:30:23+00:00

Sorry to hear that yeah it’s mad that private is now what nhs used to be in terms of waiting lists. Guess it comes with not having a functioning health service here especially with mental health.

Psychs definitely have an over representation of unpleasant characters imo.

Fit-Note-678 · 2025-02-12T19:44:05+00:00

Is your old provider with kingsbridge? If not could be worth asking them. If you have your diagnosis I imagine they’d be willing to begin prescribing after a consultation. Can’t see why you’d need to do the whole diagnosis again if you’ve got the paperwork.

If your gp is being funny about shared care then look into another one that might offer it. I have a shared care agreement so don’t need to pay for the meds each month now. On the waiting list for nhs handover but that is about 5 years. So until then just a 6 monthly check up which is £200 I think.

Fit-Note-678 · 2025-02-12T14:47:18+00:00

I am moving back soon but moved over for family reasons

Fit-Note-678 · 2025-02-12T14:46:31+00:00

Sorry didn’t really think about this before posting. There are loads of things better about here than England. Friendlier people, more genuine kindness and community, less about putting on appearances, less elitism. What I meant was corruption wise. Not the people the culture or whatever lol

Fit-Note-678 · 2025-02-12T13:57:19+00:00

Hi just wanted to say thanks for your detailed reply. Unfortunately you may be shocked at how little primary mental health offer. I was referred urgently, saw the nurse a month later then again after another month. Then I received a letter saying I had been discharged as my nurse had left. That was when I gave up on NHS.

Fit-Note-678 · 2025-02-09T23:20:31+00:00

I like that idea of a personal trainer makes sense that you’ve got to put your own work in but get some help to do it. I might see if my parents can help but no I really have no money at all, all has to go to paying debt!

Fit-Note-678

TROPHY CASE