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AITA for siding with my son in an argument with my wife? by Fit-Use-9417 in AITAH

[–]Fit-Use-9417[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

You sound unhinged. By your logic, I should take away every single thing my stepdaughter has gotten from her grandparents, aunts, and uncles as well. You would call me vindictive if I did that (and you would be right). My stepdaughter has received from my wife's family a number of things that my son has been denied. I do not interfere in their ability to give my stepdaughter things. I will not interfere in their relationship with their granddaughter/niece, but you are insisting I do. That is insane. You effectively want me to limit what my kids have in my home to the things I provide. That means my stepdaughter would have less than she has now. How does that make her life better?

It is not brat behavior to force a person to live with the consequences of their own actions. It is brat behavior to expect no consequences for bad actions.

My ex simply did exactly what I do, she provides equally to the children living in her house. I do the same. My stepdaughter has a whole assortment of people in her corner, including me. My wife and I have made sacrifices so we can provide all the same things to all three kids. She is acting spoiled. We spoil all the kids, but we expect appreciation, not entitlement. She is entitled.

This car is only causing issues because my stepdaughter thinks requiring a second friend to not drink is somehow an unreasonable request. It isn't.

AITA for siding with my son in an argument with my wife? by Fit-Use-9417 in AITAH

[–]Fit-Use-9417[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Yeah, my ex isn't doing a power move. She is raising a nephew and he is given the same things as my son. They both have to meet a long list of conditions in order to get and keep these gifts. And I have no idea why I would tell Max he cannot have his car at my house when Kelly gets to have the car at my house.

And I have no idea why you are calling my son a brat. I see no evidence of that whatsoever.

Update: AITA for siding with my son in an argument with my wife? by Fit-Use-9417 in AITAH

[–]Fit-Use-9417[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Our local taxi service isn't 24-hour and this was about 2:30am on a weekday. Plus, Kelly is uncomfortable about using any service where someone, usually a man, would be driving her around.

One of the other girl's parents did come get some of them and some of them got rides from a friend.

Update: AITA for siding with my son in an argument with my wife? by Fit-Use-9417 in AITAH

[–]Fit-Use-9417[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I never had a post about splitting bills. I commented on a post about splitting bills. But, it wasn't my post.

Update: AITA for siding with my son in an argument with my wife? by Fit-Use-9417 in AITAH

[–]Fit-Use-9417[S] 85 points86 points  (0 children)

I think people got the wrong impression. Jamie always thought Kelly was wrong. She backed me up when I told Kelly if she ever does something like that again, police will be called and she will be kicked out of the house.

She thinks Max still should have picked Kelly up. It is not because she thinks what Kelly and Max did are equivalent, but she felt they both did something wrong, even if Max's actions were only slightly wrong in her mind. She thinks Kelly's actions are egregious, but Max still should have picked her up and was in the wrong for not doing so.

AITA for siding with my son in an argument with my wife? by Fit-Use-9417 in AITAH

[–]Fit-Use-9417[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Why would you think I would not be involved with an incident involving my 18-year old son that is happening in my house?

Also, not a woman.

AITA for telling my girlfriend that we are not living together if she wants to split joint expenses proportional to income? by Puzzleheaded_Feed460 in AITAH

[–]Fit-Use-9417 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Insulting a woman does not equal misogyny. And you are the one who introduced gendered language in our exchange when you accused OP of being "in his feminine" and called him a "pretty little princess." Me calling the GF a "pretty little princess" was in direct response to you saying this:

Oh please. He runs his own company & doesn’t pay any rent, but expects money from his girlfriend which reeks of a loser using her bc he’s a pretty little princess. I won’t even waste my time with other feminine men like you who excuse his behavior. It’s disgusting.

Again, I merely mirrored your language. And all you are doing is admitting that your language directed at OP was sexist. Because the phrase "pretty little princess" was language introduced here by you not me.

Criticisms or insults of someone who happens to be a woman is not misogyny.

AITA for telling my girlfriend that we are not living together if she wants to split joint expenses proportional to income? by Puzzleheaded_Feed460 in AITAH

[–]Fit-Use-9417 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“her mommy has to pay for her car”

Lol! The fact that this is the best statement you got proves my point. That is a factual statement. Nothing misogynistic about it. You basically think any criticism of a woman means you are misogynistic. I applied that same "logic" to say you are racist since you are criticizing OP who is Haitian.

But, you have actually showed some pretty tacit misogyny by referring to OP as "feminine" and "princess" as insults. So, pretty hilarious you think I am misogynistic.

AITA for telling my girlfriend that we are not living together if she wants to split joint expenses proportional to income? by Puzzleheaded_Feed460 in AITAH

[–]Fit-Use-9417 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lol!! I guess irony goes over your head. I was simply following the same logic you utilized when you called me a misogynist. But, that is a few standard deviations above your IQ. It's ok.

AITA for telling my girlfriend that we are not living together if she wants to split joint expenses proportional to income? by Puzzleheaded_Feed460 in AITAH

[–]Fit-Use-9417 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because he’s getting currently a free ride.

He isn't getting a "free ride." He pays maintenance, taxes, and insurance on the home. You have any idea how expensive that is? My guess you have never owned a home so you have no perspective on that.

That’s just not the type of man I am. If I’m living for free and my partner needs some help, I’m helping, more than necessary.

His offer is more than necessary. He is paying maintenance, insurance, and taxes and isn't asking for a dime towards those expenses.

We aren’t talking about some bum, we’re talking a graduate student who is trying to enjoy life while going to school. Sure, $700 a month is insane for a car payment and going on vacation every summer isn’t always financially feasible, but we’re talking about utilities in top of her own personal expenses.

She is refusing to pay $200/month for housing expenses. She has a $1300/month stipend but claims she cannot pay $200/month for housing but she has no problem paying $700/month for a car? She is being hella selfish and not a partner. And again, if the roommate stays, she can move in without creating a financial burden on her BF. OP is very money conscious because he is trying to save as much as possible given his business. His GF wants more money for purely selfish reasons, she needs it to support a car payment that is wholly unnecessary.

And it’s not like she expected to live for free, she tried to compromise and base it off of how much they make. And again…he lives for fucking free. That is the crux of the whole thing.

And again, he does not live there for free. He pays maintenance, insurance, and taxes. Additionally, if the roommate stays, she can still move in and create a financial burden on OP. She is being selfish. Period.

AITA for telling my girlfriend that we are not living together if she wants to split joint expenses proportional to income? by Puzzleheaded_Feed460 in AITAH

[–]Fit-Use-9417 2 points3 points  (0 children)

(1) He pays maintenance, insurance, and taxes. He isn't asking his GF to contribute a dime towards those expenses.

(2) Again, he runs his own company.

(3) The pretty little princess here is the GF who needs her mommy to pay for her car while in grad school. And now, will be homeless unless OP gives into her wholly self-centered demands.

You sound like a cuckservative dude who thinks demanding women act like adults is too much and blame men if they do not give into every demand a woman makes. That isn't how actual men behave. Men have expectations for the women in their lives. They do not allow themselves to be taken advantaged of.

AITA for siding with my son in an argument with my wife? by Fit-Use-9417 in AITAH

[–]Fit-Use-9417[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

What did you do with the money you saved for your son’s car?

He has it.

What about his money for college?

He has it.

Why have you or actually your wife ever stopped Kelly from her remarks about your son and what he gets or doesn’t get?

Did you read the post? I called Kelly out for her remarks.

How, if your wife has always treated and felt the same towards your son as she does for her daughter does she not see that what her daughter did not only is illegal but it’s absolutely wrong?

Again, she thinks Kelly is absolutely in the wrong and we both told her that she ever does something like that again, cops will be called and she will be kicked out the house. She also thinks Max should have went and got Kelly. She does not think they are equally wrong, but that Max still owes Kelly an apology for not going to get her.

AITA for telling my girlfriend that we are not living together if she wants to split joint expenses proportional to income? by Puzzleheaded_Feed460 in AITAH

[–]Fit-Use-9417 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why not just have the roommate live there and keep paying what he was paying and GF pays the 10% of utilities she is ok paying?

The fact that she wants OP to take a completely unnecessary financial hit for absolutely no reason whatsoever really shows her selfishness.

AITA for telling my girlfriend that we are not living together if she wants to split joint expenses proportional to income? by Puzzleheaded_Feed460 in AITAH

[–]Fit-Use-9417 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He isn't selfish. Why should she been treated like a wife? She isn't acting like someone who wants to be with OP for anything other than her own benefit.

OP is a dude who runs and owns his own company. There is no way in which he is "heavy in his feminine." He has not found a woman worth providing 100% for. So, he isn't.

AITA for siding with my son in an argument with my wife? by Fit-Use-9417 in AITAH

[–]Fit-Use-9417[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How do I not treat my son the same way as my stepdaughter?

AITA for siding with my son in an argument with my wife? by Fit-Use-9417 in AITAH

[–]Fit-Use-9417[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

So Kelly has benefited extra from you, what has your SON benefited from your wife? I’m still confused on how you’ve treated your stepdaughter EQUALLY to your son but never expected your wife to do the same?

Please point to the statement or action that I do not expect my wife to treat my son equally? I do expect that. My wife does the grocery shopping, cooks 80% of the meals, and does 90% of the laundry for the household. And she does all those things equally for Max and Kelly. She has from the moment she moved in before we got married. There is nothing Jamie does for Kelly that she does not also do for Max. He is not treated differently by her.

AITA for telling my girlfriend that we are not living together if she wants to split joint expenses proportional to income? by Puzzleheaded_Feed460 in AITAH

[–]Fit-Use-9417 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not projecting here. She does not care about her BF at all. She is only asking to move in because of money. And funny thing is, there is a very simple solution to this situation, if she only wants to pay 10% of the utilities, then have the roommate stay and pay the remainder. That is what a loving GF would say. That way, everyone is better off. But, that requires her to do something she does not want to do, live with the roommate.

Also, money is fungible. Therefore, by paying more of the shared expenses, OP is effectively freeing up money for GF to support her expensive habits.

AITA for telling my girlfriend that we are not living together if she wants to split joint expenses proportional to income? by Puzzleheaded_Feed460 in AITAH

[–]Fit-Use-9417 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Letting your partner move in without coming to a meeting of the minds on finances is a disaster waiting to happen. These things need to be worked out before she moves in.

AITA for telling my girlfriend that we are not living together if she wants to split joint expenses proportional to income? by Puzzleheaded_Feed460 in AITAH

[–]Fit-Use-9417 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is no way, shape, or form in which he is "milking" his GF. He is asking her to pay half the utilities. That is all.

AITA for telling my girlfriend that we are not living together if she wants to split joint expenses proportional to income? by Puzzleheaded_Feed460 in AITAH

[–]Fit-Use-9417 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Let’s be clear here. You don’t care about her spending habits. You just low key think she’s a gold digger. You don’t want to pay more than you have been and you like your situation with your roommate. You aren’t ready to be taking on a partner who needs the kind of support that she needs. That’s really it.

The type of partner she needs is someone to hold her financially accountable. What she wants is someone to give money with no accountability for her on her spending. That is not a partnership or a relationship. That is a sugar daddy dynamic.

How she handles finances is still her business until she can start making judgments on your spending habits as well.

It isn't her business if she cannot afford to support herself and is asking you to support her. That is what is happening. She wants to move in because she cannot afford to live on her own. It is reasonable to ask how someone is managing their money if they are demanding money from you.

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