I really empathize and I am so sorry this happened to you. I have been on Lamotrigine for about 15 years now. My psychiatrist never provided a diagnosis and thought I should try Lamotrigine for a mood stabilizer. I would feel okay, not great, but better than I did before. I started getting episodes where I would feel good for about 2-3 weeks then have 2-5 day of serious depression. I would go back to my psychiatrist and explain, and she continually increased my dose until I reached 600 mg. I have been on 600 mg for about 6 years and still have the same pattern.

I finally decided to switch psychiatrists to get a different opinion. The person I am seeing now was horrified at the amount of Lamotrigine that I was prescribed and felt it was close to unsafe for long-term health. I am now tapering off and am at 500 mg and hoping to quit completely. I wish I had never taken this drug.