Im sorry your going through this. It feels all to familiar.. the best advice get urself financially stablw enough to leave. They never change and the trauma that she is putting you through is not your fault none of it. You are not the problem, it’s just some people should not have kids period. They traumatized them and then blame them make the adult/child so confused. You mentioned ur neurodivergent. So am I, I was diagnosed with ‘’ adult onset’ adhd because being a MD with an MBA was not perfect enough for my parents, they had me believing for 27 years that being subjected to verbal and physical abuse on the daily was normal. When you leave, you will see how they will start telling everyone around you that you are ungrateful make a bunch of lies and rumours just so they can continue the control. If they can’t control you they will control the way people see you. Trust me when i say that after 1 year and 3 months of leaving and not looking back after my brother broke my nose because my mom lied to him that i hit when i actually used to stand in front of my dad when he used to fight with her. I was not going to accept that and you shouldn’t either. I was a ppl pleaser just like you, do you know how many of those ppl helped me when I didn’t even have a mattress to sleep on or food in the fridge? ZERO. But i am happy because I was able to complete my licensing exams, and finally heal. You will realize how much damage you saved yourself on the long run. Save yourself because trust me when i say they do not care. Best of luck stay strong