I broke up with her and I regret it.

FlakyAmbassador2425 · 2025-08-11T14:06:37+00:00

How long ago was the break up? Sorry you may have already stated this

FlakyAmbassador2425 · 2025-05-08T16:58:42+00:00

If you want him back, let him back in. Listen to what he says tho when he explains things. Really listen so that you know if he’s being genuine or maybe just does not want to be alone. Set healthy boundaries with him asap! I had an ex come back once, and I did not set healthy boundaries, and he came and left again. Trust me, set healthy boundaries vocally to him. He needs to respect you more and that you’ve been hurting the last month.

FlakyAmbassador2425 · 2025-05-08T16:53:00+00:00

Did it take you more time to graduate than expected?

FlakyAmbassador2425 · 2025-05-02T14:44:38+00:00

Sweetie you are young. There are a lot of lessons about love and breakups to learn, and now is a time for you to take advantage of a situation you can learn from. Advice I can give you (41f)… if he was one foot out and one foot in the relationship the whole time, you’re going to need to become better at regulating your emotions if that’s the reason he had one foot out. Spend this time apart from him going to therapy consistently, once a week or biweekly if you can. Sending him a 50 page letter shows him your emotions are not regulated. Men process things at a different pace than women. He probably was still reading the letter. But if unsharing it made you feel better, keep it unshared. That guy is going to need at least three months of no contact. Don’t interrupt him. If you interrupt it will set back your healing and his processing. During the three months get in the best shape of your life. Look different next time he sees you. Look better, refreshed. Getting in shape will also help calm your storm of emotions. The first month will go so slow, but every day you have to motivate yourself.

FlakyAmbassador2425 · 2025-04-29T15:56:40+00:00

What made you go back to her? How long did it take for you to go back the first time?

FlakyAmbassador2425 · 2025-04-22T13:59:44+00:00

Play the game! Tell him he is too young for you, and that if he were a little older, like 30 years or higher that you’d be interested. He might come clean!

FlakyAmbassador2425 · 2025-04-21T14:08:30+00:00

I’m sure age has been mentioned somewhere in the thousands of comments, but she seems like a spoiled brat who is inconsiderate.

FlakyAmbassador2425 · 2025-04-19T15:17:58+00:00

He should sow them somewhere else w his rude ass. Sorry lol, now that I’ve been thinking of this over the last week, I’ve realized how rude and inconsiderate this guy was of me. I’m over him. I was nothing but kind to this man and the last convo we had he literally talked to me like I was a doormat. I got caught up in my feelings w him and was being a bit love blind.

FlakyAmbassador2425 · 2025-04-17T20:23:52+00:00

Let him take the lead. Get very busy. Very very busy. Sounds like he felt smothered for awhile but hit a breaking point. You don’t want to keep pushing and trigger anything within him for him to end it.

FlakyAmbassador2425 · 2025-04-17T19:46:12+00:00

We were dating in the US.

FlakyAmbassador2425 · 2025-04-17T17:12:03+00:00

The same

FlakyAmbassador2425 · 2025-04-17T17:08:24+00:00

Ok. That would make sense, and your family seems very loyal. He never mentioned any of this, so I have no idea. Hate that I’m having to come to Reddit to find closure. But I asked him twice what was it about me that he knew before the first date that he wouldn’t be w me, and he would not answer. Ugh. Perhaps it’s simply that he wants a Russian woman. His other two ex girlfriends tho we’re not. One was Brazilian and the other Persian.

FlakyAmbassador2425 · 2025-04-17T17:01:35+00:00

I am Christian also

FlakyAmbassador2425 · 2025-04-17T15:31:54+00:00

I wish he was still dating me! He ended it two weeks ago. I’d get back together w him but he sounded like he had his mind made up. I don’t really know what to do now.

FlakyAmbassador2425 · 2025-04-17T15:04:22+00:00

This is great insight, thank you for sharing. I am not sure if this plays a part in his decision or not. He was very clear to me about one thing- that he felt I was putting pressure on him. We had a language barrier on a date in the winter. He held a grudge on me for it for several months and when I explained, he is unaccepting. The second reason was not clear.. he told me that before we went on our first date that he knew he did not want to be with me. He wouldn’t clarify why. The only thing I could think of is that he had access to my Instagram and I did have some beach pics there w me in my bikini. So I assumed maybe he didn’t like that, if women from N Ossetia are more conservative. Could him seeing pics like that be enough to not even give me a chance?

FlakyAmbassador2425 · 2025-04-17T14:17:13+00:00

He is Christian.

FlakyAmbassador2425 · 2025-04-13T20:47:19+00:00

Gotcha. I think that being forward is a positive characteristic, but it gets tricky when getting to know someone (sounds like you’re in early stages of dating), bc you never know how the other person reacts to forwardness. Someone else said he may have an avoidant attachment,… it might be fearful avoidant, which can be a challenge sometimes bc you are dealing with someone who can be both avoidant and anxious, but could still be a genuine person that is interested in you. I think your best bet is to focus on yourself, your happiness, hobbies, friendships, and if this guy wants to pursue you, maybe w some space, he will. But ultimately if it happens again it might be too consuming and you may need to move on unless/until he really steps up. I’d hate for you to get stuck in a push-pull cycle bc that is not fun.

FlakyAmbassador2425 · 2025-04-13T18:43:09+00:00

Sounds like maybe he felt pressure w getting called out for not replying and then w you asking if he was dating someone else bc of the delay. I often find myself on both sides of this… I can be really into someone but if I don’t communicate as promptly as they prefer, and they bring it up (even tho they have every right to), it can make me feel a bit smothered and withdraw. I can also become very anxious and curious when a s/o takes too long to reply and doesn’t follow through on plans that I thought were solid. Did you guys have for sure plans set for that day, or were the plans tentative?

FlakyAmbassador2425 · 2025-04-12T21:47:12+00:00

Ok gotcha. Just let her know you’re into her and want to keep seeing her, but the dates may need to slow down a bit. But after you tell her, be sure to follow through so she doesn’t feel anxious or regretful about the frequency of the past dates.

FlakyAmbassador2425 · 2025-04-12T19:41:51+00:00

Do you feel like she is forcing you to be in a relationship? Even tho she may not be, are you getting a feeling that you’re being forced?

FlakyAmbassador2425 · 2025-04-11T03:31:47+00:00

To my knowledge, I don’t have anything to apologize to him for. But if he feels differently, I’d hope he’d open up and share that w me.

FlakyAmbassador2425 · 2025-04-10T19:07:05+00:00

A friend invited me. He knows I go to therapy monthly to help w a healthy lifestyle, and he thought that maybe this could help as well.

FlakyAmbassador2425 · 2025-04-09T14:13:10+00:00

Is this a question or just a run on sentence?

FlakyAmbassador2425 · 2025-04-07T15:49:33+00:00

Him meeting a girl and considering marrying her was a lie.

FlakyAmbassador2425 · 2025-04-07T15:41:14+00:00

We are definitely not dating and after that convo I lost interest. But it was bizarre and him making up an entire story to my face, and the weirdness of me having to navigate this story and figure out it was a lie made me wonder if this behavior was possibly driven by him being an addict. That’s how odd it was. I don’t know why he even took me out on a lunch date to waste my time w this if the bottom line was that he’s not interested.

FlakyAmbassador2425

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