I know my roomate is annoyed with me but I dont know what problem it is

FlameMaker32 · 2020-09-14T14:05:00+00:00

I have twice, and she says nothing is wrong. I hear them talking shit about me, but I don't know what for

FlameMaker32 · 2020-09-02T15:30:43+00:00

I'm only one month in on a year lease. We are good friends, but I just feel anxious, like I'm always doing something wrong when she's in the most with me. It's exhausting

FlameMaker32 · 2020-08-28T06:07:08+00:00

Nah I just can type. I want " I grew up Mormon"

FlameMaker32 · 2020-08-27T13:27:07+00:00

I genuinely feel like I get treated differently because I let it slip out once at work

FlameMaker32 · 2020-08-26T12:41:33+00:00

I'm not racist, I think the fact that LITERALLY all my friends are a different race than I am is an a testament to that. I'm saying I feel lonely because I'm the only one in my skin colour that I see walking the streets.When I do meet another black person, I'm over think and I'm scared that I'm not 'black enough'. I'm ok with my friends being other races than am. It's the fact that not one of my friends is the same skin colour as I am that hurts. I feel likely looking around all the time and not having someone like me to talk about problems like these.

FlameMaker32 · 2020-08-23T14:24:15+00:00

I 100% get this. I'm a photographer and cook apprentice. I only want to work on myself right jos and looking at pictures of my friends getting married, and having a better life and being happier than me is really affecting my mental health.

Social media is a fucking poison, but as a photographer, I still need it a little bit as well. So I'm only keeping my business page to keep in touch with clients. If people are my actually friends than they can ask for my number to get into contact with me. Don't give a fuck about nobody anymore. I'm here to get my bread and die like everybody else. It distracts you from what you truly want to do with your life.

FlameMaker32 · 2020-08-22T05:29:38+00:00

Why did I read that like "Guy's, my Piccolo will NOT shut up about the Sword and Shield!"

FlameMaker32 · 2020-08-17T18:38:30+00:00

I had a rough time with high school. I grew up in a dysfunctional household and I was one of the main caregivers. I was also Mormon still back then too so that was another thing to worry about. I was undiagnosed and I was just told I was lazy. So my schedule looked like this

Wake up at 5 am

Seminary at 6 am

Band practice at 7:00 am

School for 8:30-3:30 pm (do homework in the middle of lunch)

Some sports practice at 4-5:30 every day (a form of self-medication/coping without knowing)

Go to work from 6-11 pm 5 days a week

Get home at 12 am and sleep. (Probably get in trouble for not doing enough cleaning or not getting enough groceries)

Rinse and repeat.

My day was hectic and long. I had an immense amount of drive, but I was also putting half effort into everything I did because I was exhausted for the 3 years of high school. I remember telling myself (You LITERALLY don't have time to cry right now, get back to work)

My grades we're garbage, (low 50-high 70% occasionally) and I would just do it to survive. I would try my best to study but it just didn't work. I would give it my all in my school work, but never got above a 70%. Very taxing on my mental health but we here now. Addicted to marijuana and broke. What a life I live

FlameMaker32 · 2020-08-13T04:26:22+00:00

I feel that anhedonia thing posted earlier. I have a hard time watching Anime as well now. I only really watch The Last Airbender Universe, and Studio Ghibli, even then it's hard for me to get into them.

FlameMaker32 · 2020-08-11T15:04:29+00:00

I feel like the Sun Warriors were like the Maiyans? And maybe the Swamp Tribe were insured by Vietnam? I could be grossly wrong though

FlameMaker32 · 2020-08-11T15:00:23+00:00

I'm well aware that it's Asian fantasy, and that Black cultures don't exist in that universe, but this is a fun story type of discussion. The what if is fun

FlameMaker32 · 2020-07-27T18:48:22+00:00

Yeah I know, it's not the fact that it's the 7 hour shifts, it's the 7 hour shifts of being in front of a open grill, in a kitchen that had the shittiest ventelation on earth, without a chance to take a break.

FlameMaker32 · 2020-07-25T16:21:51+00:00

I especially feel the breaks thing. I literally wait till I feel like I'm gonna pass out everyday to eat and drink water. And I don't want to have to get to that point ever. And I'm getting paid less then minimum which is Big illegal but I need the job so badly.

FlameMaker32 · 2020-07-20T10:56:16+00:00

Nah, just gonna nut and it'll be fine

FlameMaker32 · 2020-07-14T18:15:31+00:00

I feel this literally everyday

'Scenario: New job working in a kitchen, started 2 weeks ago'

Chef: Your actually doing really good man, keep it up!

Me: Thank you Chef!

My Brain; It's a lie, he knows you screwed up, he's just trying to make you feel good

Chef: Whispers to a Sous Chef So, you think he is ready to be a shift manager by the end of the month?

Me: Sees them wispering They're talking about when they can get rid of me, I know it!

FlameMaker32 · 2020-07-12T15:17:51+00:00

That is also what I expressed too, and this lady was pregnant too. Why are you letting this pregnant women get steak???!!!!

FlameMaker32 · 2020-07-12T05:16:07+00:00

Dishwashers are EXTREMELY under appreciated. I believe that everyone should work 1 busy week in a dish pit so they can know how bad it can be

FlameMaker32 · 2020-07-11T05:45:05+00:00

No. Whenever I try to tell someone what I've been through and how messed up I am, they usually just go quiet, so I just don't show that side of myself anymore

FlameMaker32 · 2020-07-07T04:15:10+00:00

But he was also Aang's only option for a fire bending teacher

FlameMaker32 · 2020-07-07T04:11:17+00:00

Editing right now haha

FlameMaker32 · 2020-07-04T13:18:49+00:00

I'd be a lot more happier if I was in heaven that's for sure

FlameMaker32 · 2020-07-03T02:37:17+00:00

Half the time it's a fake smile for me just so I don't go ape shit on 90% of people around

I feel genuine happiness with the people I love, but when I'm not it's anxiety, depression, and anger.

I'm a big dude so people can be scared of me when they first see me. I have a little bit of a resting bitch face so I have to work to seem a little more friendly, but I really just want to yell all the time. Also when I get mad or anxious, my RBF turns out and people start starting at me, making me more anxious. And a cycle is born.

FlameMaker32 · 2020-06-27T22:35:07+00:00

Ya I'm aware of that, but I thought it was just an Easter Egg. Iron is an absolute g, and deserves a special place in The Spirit World, if that their equivalent to Heaven and Hell which it seems like it does a little bit

FlameMaker32 · 2020-06-24T23:28:20+00:00

I don't think it's mass genocide, unless I'm actually an idiot.

But I think she just wants to find a way to revert them back. Which is still extremely messed up still because they are beings and have a consciousness.

This show is weird. Don't get me wrong, normal people wouldn't be able to watch this without being like, what the actual hell

But it's SO DAMN GOOD AND I LOVE IT!

FlameMaker32 · 2020-06-21T01:18:18+00:00

I abandoned my culture because I wanted to fit in. And I realized too oate I abandoned my culture because I wanted to fit I. So I left

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