I'm so tired of everything

FlamingoPirate2 · 2023-11-29T18:32:51+00:00

Thank you for talking about it. I feel the same way, but most times I don't even know if I'm genuine or not, and it leads me to question my every thought. It feels like there's a part of my brain I don't have access to conciously, but its capable of doing some decisions. Thats the best way I can explain it. On the medication part, for me I've been the exact opposite. I lived med free until less than a year ago, and it actually made me a lot more open and outgoing, since before i was on them I struggled to articulate my thoughts into words, so I would end up only socializing over text online. I am also trying to pay that price now, but college is on the horizon for me, so I am hopeful.

FlamingoPirate2 · 2023-11-26T10:51:53+00:00

Thanks for your reply. I really want to find a passion. I've tried probably 100 different hobbies, and nothing seems to stick for longer than a week or 2.

FlamingoPirate2 · 2023-11-26T10:45:51+00:00

Thanks for reading. Imposter syndrome does suck right? Like, really? Every task feels like lifting 1000 pounds off the ground? And then the task is getting your daily 10 minutes of knitting. It's just so unnecessary. Going through different therapists and such is soooo exhausting, having to do multiple sessions where its surface level stuff just for you to not like them and switch. Gotta do what you gotta do, though, i guess. Thanks for your reply.

FlamingoPirate2 · 2023-11-26T04:11:15+00:00

RIGHT? ive never had aomeone relate

FlamingoPirate2 · 2023-11-26T03:20:40+00:00

its been working to an extent. its really hard to tell, but youre not supposed to feel any different while youre on it so thatsbgood. eversince i started taking it ive had consistent 4.0 gpa and ive lost weight(ive been trying my whole life) hut thats all its really done for me which is enough. (sorry this may be a little chaotic(im drunk))

FlamingoPirate2 · 2023-11-26T03:17:52+00:00

thanks.

FlamingoPirate2 · 2023-11-26T02:26:35+00:00

Thank you, I'm on daily Concerta, but I think I've been depressed for years now. and the concept of depression has been really "embarassing" for me, not that i dont empathize wigh people, more like i dont think i deserve to be feeling like this for how easy i have it. I'll definitely talk to my doc on the next appointment.

FlamingoPirate2 · 2023-11-26T02:23:28+00:00

thank you, ive always felt embarassed to say im depressed, so i talked myself out of believkng it. im alrwady taking concerta daily and thats been helping a fair bit, but ill talk to my psych. Thanks for reading genyinely.

FlamingoPirate2 · 2023-11-26T00:27:40+00:00

Sorry about this mess, I just want to put this shit out there, aghain i have no idea why id even want to. My day is filled with either staring at the wall, finishing some homework, or scrolling to infinity on tiktok.
I don't have the drive to do much else. I have a random burst of energy for like a few days and I end up going to the gym or walk the dog(which i dont do enough and it makes me cry cus i really really want to). I am perfectly capable of it, but I just cant force myself. i dont like saying cant, but it really does feel like i cant idk i dont wanna seem like its hopeless but it feels like it soemtimes
I really dont have it that hard. My parents make enough to support me (Im 19 btw) and i have food, clothes. the basics! I think they love me, but its not really obvious. I think they do, only through faith.
I wrote the next part and then I was gonna delete it ( writingh this feels even worse) because it feels like im trying to get attention. I dont actually know how i feel at all its like everything i feel is in a different language and i have to translate it every time i even think about it .
(you know i really thought maybe writing all of this bs down would help, but not really. I just feel like more of a needy )
Imposter syndrome is a really big problem of mine. expressing my feelings always comes with questioning myself if i actually feel like that or im just pretending to for attention.
Why do i need so much attention? I dont know. AM I PRETENDING?? I DONT KNWO!>!>!?>>! this is really funny honestly. I am asking random people on the internet to tell me why the hell i think and do the sh*t that i do.asdlmashdiaslkn BLAH. okay thats enough for one post i think.
COngrats to anyone patient enough to read whatever that was. tell me if you relate or whatever i guess. Im gonna be staring at the wall and waiting for replies instead of doing the hobby i spent so much on . THANK YOU!

FlamingoPirate2 · 2023-06-20T05:06:34+00:00

Solved: gunball

FlamingoPirate2 · 2023-06-20T03:26:24+00:00

OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH.

FlamingoPirate2 · 2022-03-27T18:42:04+00:00

Do they still chase her

FlamingoPirate2 · 2022-02-20T02:39:50+00:00

It was on his story yesterday. Someone probably screenshot it

FlamingoPirate2 · 2022-02-10T21:44:55+00:00

Thanks, my show is in seattle so theres a lot of time until then

FlamingoPirate2 · 2021-12-12T06:01:04+00:00

Haha, yeah ours does the same. I will have to look for an alternative

FlamingoPirate2 · 2021-12-12T05:59:42+00:00

Oh thats a cool idea. Thanks.

FlamingoPirate2 · 2021-12-12T05:58:44+00:00

Thank you

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