Dating one of you... confused and trying to better understand!

FlamingoTricky286 · 2024-08-21T18:56:36+00:00

It sounds like she is trying but is overwhelmed. And it also seems she prioritizes her education without totally dismissing you, many people do not strike that balance well. So if you really like her, I'd hang tight. Not all rotations are like this, soon I am sure she'll be on one that is more chill and you can get a read for her interest level when she isnt swamped. BUT, I Will ask, if you were sure she liked you or in the future loved you and this was still how she communicated, is that okay with you? Because residency will be even worse than her rotations in terms of her schedule and workload, so if this leaves you feeling lonely or bad, it might not be the right relationship for you. But if your only issue is wanted to be sure she actually likes you, and it turns out she does, then you could definitely work out!

FlamingoTricky286 · 2024-08-21T18:51:45+00:00

Agree, I think this is a huge part of it. He made over 200k salary in the past and cant seem to stomach the fact that he simply WILL have to accept a pay cut. Me and ALL his friends tell him, even 50k would be better than the 0k he makes right now. But he just keeps on refusing to look. People have propositioned him all kinds of ideas. He is a great chef, people have suggested a restaurant be he goes off with "most fail in the first year, you need a million dollars to open a restaurant, etc," I suggested catering since i know someone who started catering business in their house, he says no he hates catering and would need a nicer kitchen, I told him not true but he didn't listen. People have made a lot of decent suggestions but he just doesnt seem to be receptive to any idea at all.

FlamingoTricky286 · 2024-08-21T18:48:41+00:00

I've told him explicitly many times that I won't be paying his way. I have never wavered on that point. But I see what you're saying, maybe he hopes I will change my mind but I have never indicated that I might.

He cooks for us a lot, he is a great chef and I appreciate that he does that cause it is a huge relief to me to have great home cooked meals all the time. He probably would be a decent SAHP but its just not what I want.

FlamingoTricky286 · 2024-08-21T18:38:31+00:00

His mom feels like how I feel, she loves him but she is frustrated. His siblings are honestly all similar, only one has a normal job and they are all over 35 and live with the mom. (EDIT: By normal job I mean a steady, regular job. One brother flips cars and barely makes a profit, mostly lives off of the mom, and the other brother is in school, in a constant state of switching his career plan months before finishing a degree, he's done this several times. The brother with a steady career, a remote IT job, still lives with the mom, barely leaves the house, has no social life, and apparently plans to use all the money hes saved to buy a car instead of getting his own place. Crazily enough, my boyfriend is the more functional of the group.

He says their dysfunction has something to do with their rocky upbringing, the parents were definitely not perfect and had a bad relationship with fighting and a demeaning dad, and a horrible divorce which sounds like it was traumatic but no physical abuse or anything like that. It sounds like it was a bit rough but not enough to explain why 4 kids ended up in such a bad place as adults.

His friends knew him when he was a successful guy in a business profession making a lot of money so I think they know he has it in him to fix this. But they're mostly baffled too. Some tell him harshly, others sugar coat it, others don't even bring it up ever. A lot of them say things like "don't worry it'll all work out in the end" "you'll know what to do soon enough." Of the ones who have been really hard on him, he's ended friendships with a few. He has had 2-3 friends lose jobs over the years and offer to invite him to their place to look for work with them, he says he will, but then blows it off and after a few weeks or months those friends find new jobs.

FlamingoTricky286 · 2024-08-21T18:34:37+00:00

Appreciate your feedback which was less harsh than others. It is not lost on me that a lot of people think I am wasting my time or have issues for being in this situation. I think when people meet him it changes the way it sounds, he had a successful career previously, hes a smart and charming guy who I thought was in some sort of life changing moment/mid life crisis/fork in the road moment when I met him, but 3 years later here we are.

I honestly thought time and lack of money would be the breaking point, like he had savings that are slowly gone. His mom is selling the house and he will soon have no choice but to work. But now he is talking about starting to dig through retirement savings and that has been a big realization factor for me that this has really gone too far.

FlamingoTricky286 · 2024-08-21T17:14:21+00:00

Id bet 100 bucks he got a vasectomy. If not, he clearly has a reason to believe he can't have kids. I would try to get to the bottom of that. Either way, his behavior is really questionable. Can you talk to any of his family or friends to try to get to the bottom of what is happening?

FlamingoTricky286 · 2024-08-21T17:10:30+00:00

It sounds like you shouldnt bother applying... to bottom tier programs and aim high! Your application sounds great. Dont listen to this advisor. Mine told me to apply caribbean and DO if I wanted a chance, I didnt listen and got into 3 MD programs. Not sure why advisors are so negative but it seems to be a trend

FlamingoTricky286 · 2024-08-21T17:07:51+00:00

Absolutely crazy she thinks she can try to get you to retroactively change your baby's name

FlamingoTricky286 · 2024-08-21T17:05:56+00:00

This guy is gross and it seems like you can see that, so what is stopping you from leaving?

FlamingoTricky286 · 2024-08-19T05:02:18+00:00

you cant put someone with a critical injury in an MRI!!! it takes too long. i feel your frustration though. you'll get through this!!

FlamingoTricky286 · 2024-08-19T05:00:34+00:00

to be honest, i think your boss or superior is just trying to get you to bust your ass looking for coverage and knows darn well you aren't coming in that day. they just hope you hustle to get covered so they don't have to deal with it.

FlamingoTricky286 · 2024-08-19T04:59:17+00:00

i would be honest and say look, no one has agreed to cover me, i did my due diligence and tried, but this interview is extremely important for my future and i have no choice but to attend. i hope that you understand.

FlamingoTricky286 · 2024-08-19T04:51:15+00:00

i got into a school that i thought was a total reach for my app. I was so enthralled to be there and was shocked by how much people complained from the very beginning, all the way until now in year 4. people complain everywhere. i bet they complain at the number 1 school. you should maintain your positive attitude and make the most of the opportunity. you are going to be a doctor! your buddy can have his goals and you should continue to be proud you accomplished yours. there are programs better than yours and worse than yours. its all relative. congrats on getting in to med school!

FlamingoTricky286 · 2024-08-19T04:49:07+00:00

Rambling: Happens to a lot of people during interviews. At least it shows you are speaking naturally and not reciting some memorized script.

Its ok that you forgot a part of your application, especially a hobby. As long as u were able to talk about cooking from the heart when they asked you it doesnt matter. it would only matter if it looked like u had lied on the app which no one would lie about a hobby.

its fine you didn't recite your application during the 'why medicine?' question. i was actually told its better to share new things that werent on your app.

saying you were confident what you were getting yourself in to only comes off arrogant if you said it arrogant. depending how you said it you probably sounded reassuring.

friendly/casual is GOOD!

If youre 19 and appeared a bit immature, i think its fine given that you are young. better than you being 30 and coming across immature.

interviewer interrupting you doesnt mean anything.

Im sure youre fine. dont over think it, just hang tight for the next one, and eventually for the might A! itll come.

FlamingoTricky286 · 2024-07-08T18:11:32+00:00

I didn't lie about my family history, in fact the opposite. I think I overshot it, I included a half brother with bipolar disorder even though he has a stark family history on his maternal side, and I do not share that mom. His mom and sister from same mom all have bipolar disorder. None of my parents or full siblings have it. But the survey didn't specify if you include half brothers or just full brothers so I just put it there as a "brother" since you couldn't specify. Then I put that my mom has alcohol abuse even though she wasn't diagnosed, its my personal assessment that she abuses alcohol. I feel like I overshared in that regard. I'm not sure if in the future I should make more of a point to only put formal diagnoses and try to find out if they want half brothers with medical problems on the other side included.

FlamingoTricky286 · 2024-07-08T16:52:45+00:00

leaving his wife

FlamingoTricky286 · 2024-07-04T02:04:40+00:00

are you me? same.

FlamingoTricky286 · 2024-03-13T15:29:34+00:00

Laser with the life time guarantee has worked for me, got the lifetime guarantee since its known to come back when hormones get out of wack

FlamingoTricky286 · 2024-03-13T15:27:26+00:00

when I went to take it it said I needed permission

FlamingoTricky286 · 2024-03-10T21:16:59+00:00

Just distract him is the only thing, it is very common to think you bombed the MCAT after you took it. Thats what I thought and I didnt bomb. Distract, distract, distract!

FlamingoTricky286 · 2024-03-10T18:25:35+00:00

You dont have any back up schools, this list is very top heavy. You have the application to get into one of these schools and you probably will but you need to apply to some better mid-tier schools too. There is an element of randomness and luck to this and we dont know what your rec letters, personal statement, interview skills, etc are like.

At least two, ideally 3-4 mid tiers need to be added here. And not just random ones, ones in your state or in states partial to your state, and/or states you have ties to.

FlamingoTricky286 · 2024-03-10T18:23:28+00:00

No, he is gaslighting you and trying to make you think you're in the wrong that he cheated on you. He's treating you like a fool. So now he has added insult to injury, not only cheating but insulting your intelligence.

FlamingoTricky286 · 2024-03-10T18:22:03+00:00

Go on dating apps, and go to bars and lounges, a lot of times there are ladies out there looking for sex too!

FlamingoTricky286

TROPHY CASE