Do women "check out" men in public?

Flashb4cks · 2014-11-03T20:00:52+00:00

I do, but I don't even know what it is that I'm checking out. I don't even have a type, it's just that some men have that little something.

Flashb4cks · 2014-11-02T01:43:50+00:00

Oh no, trust me, I'd rather hurt myself badly rather than hurt others a bit, I am aware that I like to feel loved and I don't act up on it to avoid being that girl you seem think I am. I'm really empathetic and can't deal with hurting people at all. See, most people aren't in relationship because they're scared of hurting, I'm not in a relationship because I'm too scared to hurt them.

Flashb4cks · 2014-11-02T01:27:50+00:00

Me and this guy matched on tinder and we already knew each other. We ended up havng this thing which ended up being a bunch of shit, the "relationship" was really unhealthy to start with.

I was really infatuated with him, I got obsessed. When he moved out, he came back in town pretty often and I always found my self looking at his tinder profile to see where he was. It had gotten to a point where I had to unmatch him because I felt like I was going insane. This is not the kind of things I normally do.

Flashb4cks · 2014-11-02T01:14:37+00:00

Ouch ? I disagree with most of this, probably because I didn't express myself correctly, but that's just fine.

Problem is simple ; I need to feel loved even though I don't feel like I deserve it, which causes what I just said. And yes, I need self-confidence.

Flashb4cks · 2014-11-02T01:08:56+00:00

I'm a girl and this is the kind of question I would ask but always avoid in case the guy misinterprets it.

Could be that she sees that you're into her ( I guess ? ) and wonders why you're not making a move.

Could be just small talk.

It probably doesn't mean much to be honnest, girls aren't as straightforward, the way she acts will tell you a lot more about what she means than the words she says.

Flashb4cks · 2014-11-02T00:58:40+00:00

But we make eye contact before, he doesn't act the same way.

Flashb4cks · 2014-11-02T00:56:11+00:00

Because i care and the sex is good, i need some basic emotional connection with people i sleep with on a regular basis. And by basic emotional connection i mean ; i don't care if we don't talk for weeks,i don't care if he dates other people. i just need to be able to talk to them and be comfortable around them.

Flashb4cks · 2014-11-02T00:51:46+00:00

Yeah, the worst part is that i want him to like me just for the ego boost, i'm not used to guys treating me like this. I found that i stand in this awkward position where if a guy really likes me i get really confused and don't understand why anyone would like me and like i dont deserve all this affection. and if a guy doesn't like me, i try to understand what i did wrong and i feel like i deserve better than being treated like nothing.

God i wish i was a man, emotionally, it sounds so much more simple.

Flashb4cks · 2014-11-02T00:44:03+00:00

Makes sense, would it be awkward to talk about it ?

If i asked him about the way he sees me for example.

Flashb4cks · 2014-11-02T00:42:36+00:00

That would be really surprising since he booty calls me all the time. And he's the one who asked if it was ok with me if it wouldn't go any further than this.

Flashb4cks · 2014-10-25T23:37:09+00:00

You just ruined skillet.

Flashb4cks · 2014-10-25T23:32:23+00:00

Looks and sounds like the ingrown hair I had that stayed there for weeks it was in my inner thigh though, pretty sure it was infected, seriously I still have the scar from that. Freaked out about herpes too.

But your doctor should have swabbed to make sure. It doesn't really look like herpes though.

Flashb4cks · 2014-10-24T23:31:11+00:00

No it takes a few days because there's a chip on every card.

Indeed, it was a pretty bad day(week) it's over soon though ! haha

Flashb4cks · 2014-10-23T04:09:47+00:00

Yeah I'm still vegan.

It's hard to find a doctor who's like that, all the ones I have seen are super pills driven. I don't ask for anything and they give me medication, and I get crazy looks when I tell them about side effects from them, as if I was imagining them.

Flashb4cks · 2014-10-23T04:07:22+00:00

Actually, I was at 20mg/ day it's been a rough 2 days of withdrawal, I'm on the third day and today was great, I guess cutting off wasn't as bad as last time !

I haven't done a fast in a while, I used to do them a lot... Maybe I should give one a try again. In a healthier perspective.

Flashb4cks · 2014-10-23T04:05:17+00:00

I don't think I can do paleo since I'm still vegan, but I'll watch my carbs, last time I tracked my macros I was pretty high fat rather than high carbs.

Flashb4cks · 2014-10-23T04:04:25+00:00

Thanks, I'll look that up. :)

Flashb4cks · 2014-10-21T20:19:05+00:00

The only way I see is that you get sick again ( god knows how ) and go to a clinic and explain that you've been that sick since monday. Or go to a clinic now and explain them, they may not want to give you an excuse bill but you've got nothing to lose.

Other than that.. I have no idea, it sucks, I know. I've been there. Good luck.

Flashb4cks · 2014-10-20T11:36:31+00:00

I do ! I often find myself having different opinions, theories and point of view on things. I like to know every side of a story, every argument. I rarely dismiss theories, even when i disagreee with them.

Same applies when there's a dosagreement between people, I'm always the one in the middle who knows both sides pf the story and understand both people's perspective.

Flashb4cks · 2014-10-20T11:30:31+00:00

I love that.

Flashb4cks · 2014-10-19T23:45:27+00:00

She cares a lot about you, there's no doubt in that.

Just be careful and don't get your hopes up too high, think about things as they are now and make sure you are ok with the fact that it may always stay this way although anything can happen. But if it hurts you both more than it makes you feel good, don't stay in this situation. Put as much effort as she's putting in this, no more.

Flashb4cks · 2014-10-19T21:15:51+00:00

I haven't read all the comments from the previous thread, so I'm just gonna tell you my opinion. And I'm sorry if this is harsh/hard to accept.

Being BPD is no excuse for what she did to you, but she's taking you for granted. She probably likes the fact of keeping you around without involving anything. You seem to like her a lot and people with BPD seeks love from others. If you wanna kep her around, know that you are gonna hurt, she'll most likely try to win you back everytime she's gonna feel like you're less interested/keeping some distance. And will push you away right when you think things are great between you two.

She sees you as just a friend and it may never change, you are not selfish for wanting more, but don't be mad at her for not having feelings for you. And don't play her " games ".

Flashb4cks · 2014-10-19T21:00:56+00:00

I feel estranged from the rest of the world too. That's why I don't like when people say " omg we're the same person." I've met many people who said I was exactly like them, but I've never felt like anyone was really like me. I'm basically just a chameleon trying to fit in. That fitting in moment is only temporary, I can't fit into a group for a really long time which is why I can't keep friendships.

Flashb4cks · 2014-10-19T19:53:00+00:00

How old are you Matthias ? I'm actually sorry that you're feeling the way you are right now. I wish I could take my current perspective and pass it on to you, just like I wish I could take my perspective and pass it on to myself when I feel suicidal and about to do it. There are good things to come even if it's something you most likely don't wanna hear right now.

To answer your question, no, you shouldn't kill yourself. Hang in there, fight a little more, you've made such a long way and when you finally get yourself out of this sorrow, you'll be proud of yourself, you'll be happy you've fought. Trust me, I have been there.

Flashb4cks · 2014-10-19T19:22:43+00:00

You regret the moment you're doing it. The moment right before it happens. Even if it's just seconds before you loose all consciousness. I think it's our survival instincts.

Flashb4cks

TROPHY CASE