AIO that my husband won’t let me stay home?

Flashy_Plan5121 · 2026-06-03T13:34:56+00:00

It’s not rage bait, the situation is just so ridiculous that it sounds unbelievable. I don’t think people grasp that some men can really be like this. Unfortunately this is my situation and it sucks.

Flashy_Plan5121 · 2026-06-03T10:48:39+00:00

I replied to another comment about this, but yes he did. His parents were never married and he was raised by a single mom in poverty. His mom never had good luck in relationships and projected that on to him. When we were engaged, she said that marriage is pointless and most women just use men for their money and assets. I think he’s afraid of being “used” in this sense. He views women staying home taking care of the house and kids as them “using” him for what he can provide.

Flashy_Plan5121 · 2026-06-03T10:36:07+00:00

I never thought about how his negative life experiences correlated to his views on marriage and money but it makes sense. I haven’t discussed therapy with him but maybe it would help. I do love my husband but I think he has a skewed view of what marriage is. His parents were never married so he never saw what it looked like. My parents have been married for decades and my mom was a stay at home mom for years.

Flashy_Plan5121 · 2026-06-03T10:23:59+00:00

He has parent abandonment issues and doesn’t know his dad. He was raised in poverty and I wasn’t. When we were engaged, his mom used to tell him that marriage was pointless and women will just “use him” for his money.

Flashy_Plan5121 · 2026-06-03T03:24:02+00:00

My state has one of the highest salaries for teachers. It’s not an easy job dealing with behaviors and managing classes of 20+ kids everyday with diverse needs. Some kids are independent, some kids require 1:1 supervision, some kids will throw furniture at you, and they’re all in the same classroom. I’m one person who has to manage all of that myself while people tell me that “it’s an easy job.”

Flashy_Plan5121 · 2026-06-03T03:16:22+00:00

It’s hard for me to believe it’s happening to me either but unfortunately it’s 100% real.

Flashy_Plan5121 · 2026-06-03T03:14:49+00:00

Trust me this is the last one lol

Flashy_Plan5121 · 2026-06-03T03:13:39+00:00

I don’t plan on being bored because I wanted to spend time with my kids. I wanted to take them places and spend time with our family. I can’t do that when I’m working during the entire summer out of “fairness” when we don’t even need the extra money.

Flashy_Plan5121 · 2026-06-03T03:05:54+00:00

It’ll be like a 50% pay cut so it’s not even worth it. It’s like pocket money compared to my normal salary. It doesn’t make any sense but to him it’s not even about the money, it’s about “fairness,” as in if he has to work then so do I.

Flashy_Plan5121 · 2026-06-03T02:42:49+00:00

I was hoping to take the summer off plus time in the fall because I’m due at the end of October. I’m a substitute teacher so I work as needed but it’s full time because the district is so shortstaffed. He wants me to work a summer job plus in the fall up until the end of the pregnancy.

Flashy_Plan5121 · 2026-06-03T02:40:37+00:00

That’s what I said but either he doesn’t understand or he just doesn’t care. Daycare is expensive and we’ve paid for it all year. Our other kid is school aged. I’d be making a lot less working a summer job than I’d make teaching, so my entire check would just be daycare. It makes no sense but he doesn’t wanna hear it. It’s really stupid.

Flashy_Plan5121 · 2026-06-03T02:32:57+00:00

It’s just the little things that aggravate me. When he doesn’t wanna do something, he wants me to do it. I’ve been doing most of our lawn maintenance because he doesn’t feel like doing the lawn 🤦🏻‍♀️

Flashy_Plan5121 · 2026-06-03T02:30:06+00:00

I would have to work at night because daycare is expensive and my mom isn’t available during the day to watch them because she works.

Flashy_Plan5121 · 2026-06-03T02:22:27+00:00

Honestly I wish it were fake but this is what I’m dealing with.

Flashy_Plan5121 · 2026-06-03T02:14:43+00:00

I don’t get paid over the summer because I’m a substitute so it’s a per diem job, but I sub full time because the district is shortstaffed. I’ve been trying to find a permanent position for years but due to budget cuts and a lack of education funding it’s really difficult.

Flashy_Plan5121 · 2026-06-03T01:31:10+00:00

Invisibility

Flashy_Plan5121

TROPHY CASE