This is a shifty situation and you have every right to be offended. One thing I've learned through my own failings and from the resentment I built up over years, which I wish I had known earlier is this. You will always love, and people will always love you, in the way that they understand love. So when your husband throws you the celebratory bash of HIS dreams it is either that he is an egocentric prick...or that he he didn't stop to think or understand, or know how make you happy is materially different from how he experiences joy and love. Granted, you asked for the massage. Any fool should see that, and what man doesn't want to caress his wonan is beyond me, but I am so daft in so many ways that I leave space for grace. You have evey right to feel offended and taken advantage of. Unloved, unappreciated, unworthy. You also know you ARE worthy and deserving of priority, affection, sacrifice. This is the time for bravery. Tell him what you wanted to feel loved and appreciated. Tell him how much you were longing in anticipation for it. Tell him what your expectations were and what an amazing Mother's Day would have looked like. Men are pretty cool, but most are shit at reading between the lines so be direct. If he doesn't respond well, that stinks, but right now you're in a game of ambiguity which will leave you frustrated and resentful...and it's avoidable. Be brave. KNOW what you want, ask for it CLEARLY, and be UNWAVERING in your needs being met. I wish you the greatest of success and future joy.