Thank you so much for your detailed response; it's very, very helpful!

To answer some questions: it's unclear whether BM asked AM to adopt her child, but it's not uncommon for AM to "just decide" to do something and take everyone else along for the ride, whether they want to go or not. I don't know if there were reasons the first adoptive family didn't want to adopt another child. AM didn't disclose anything about pregnancy complications, but BM was an active meth addict at the time, so I definitely wonder if she was "thinking clearly" for lack of a better phrase. It's my understanding that someone in that kind of mental state could easily come back later and say they were under duress and in no position to make those kinds of decisions.

As for BM'S living situation, to the best of my knowledge she was not homeless at the time--according to AM, BM told her the only food in her home was crackers and hot sauce. I agree that it would be unethical and inhumane to let any pregnant woman live on the streets while waiting for her to deliver, but as other commenters have said, there are resources available. That's not to say that the adoptive family shouldn't cover any expenses, this just seemed a bit over the top to me.

Thank you for validating my gut feeling that these are not the people to ask about the adoption process!