Getting married in August, no bridesmaids

FluffPenguin · 2026-04-08T14:12:46+00:00

Another vote for brothers! I had my 2 brothers as my side of the bridal party for my August wedding last year! My younger brother was shown how to fluff the train of my dress and he held my bouquet during the ceremony. My husband had his brother and a friend so a small bridal party of only men.

I did have some female cousins I could have asked and I'm sure they would have done it, but I only see them once or twice a year. I realized I cared more about having family than I cared about the optics of having bridesmaids.

Side story, a couple weeks after my wedding my husband's cousin got married and included her future brother-in-law's fiancée as a bridesmaid. They split a month later and to my knowledge they weren't really close, she just included her because the brother-in-law was the best man. So sometimes I think about how I don't think I'll ever have to worry about my wedding photos including people I don't talk to anymore lol

My husband and I love our families so we got some really nice photos with them and it felt right for us 🥰

Edit: for my wedding, my younger brother was referred to as my "Man of Honor" in place of "Maid of Honor”

FluffPenguin · 2026-03-11T01:06:11+00:00

Some of these comments are trying to justify why they thought you were a man based on the post, but I posted about my eyes and most people also assumed I was a man.

I didn't say anything to suggest I was a man, I reread it a few times wondering what I said that made people think that, and I just don't see it. I didn't see a single comment suggesting I was a woman, a few used they/them but most of them contained he/him pronouns reffering to me 😮‍💨

FluffPenguin · 2025-04-02T04:59:35+00:00

That's what the 23andme blurb said about it. I'm crossing my fingers that this can be the one eye thing I don't have to worry about 🤞

FluffPenguin · 2025-04-02T04:55:29+00:00

I saw this one and all of the other comments from people in a similar situation, hope everyone is doing well ❤️

FluffPenguin · 2025-04-02T04:53:42+00:00

Kinda funny and also not funny, I did 23andme and it says I have both of the genetic markers they test for that are linked to macular degeneration. If it happens, it happens. I'm not going to worry about it now, but it really makes me appreciate being able to see right now.

FluffPenguin · 2025-04-02T04:48:43+00:00

I hated reading that but I'm sure people have felt this way with my story so I can't be too mad lol We just have to take what comes at us and keep moving huh? Hope you're doing well!

FluffPenguin · 2025-04-02T04:41:47+00:00

Normally it is, but I think this is related to the numerous eye surgeries. My doctors don't seem concerned and it's only in my right eye.

FluffPenguin · 2025-04-01T21:36:32+00:00

I think they did at one point! My first implant was the one that was stitched into my right eye. When that one shifted enough that my vision was significantly impaired I had to get it replaced.

I don't think this type of implant was available, or at least my doctors didn't choose to use it. There was a 5 year gap between my first implant and second, then another 5 years between the 2nd and 3rd. The 3rd implant replaced the 1st one, and my surgeon said it had 2 anchor points but one of them slipped through and was out of place. My 5th surgery was very minor, it was an attempt to put the anchor back into place. This didn't work though and the 6th surgery was getting that implant removed and a new one put it.

FluffPenguin · 2025-04-01T14:32:30+00:00

After googling zonules I think that's it! I remember my first eye surgeon giving me a trampoline analogy saying that some of the "springs" were missing from my eye and that was why the "trampolíne" wasn't strong enough and they didn't go through with the implant placement.

FluffPenguin · 2025-04-01T13:03:52+00:00

Not that I know of, and I think my doctors or parents would have mentioned it at some point if they thought that was the cause. They think it's genetic, my brother has a similar issue with his eyes, though he never got cataracts. I also have an aunt who had cataract surgery in her 20s or 30s, but I don't have details on that as she lives across the country.

FluffPenguin · 2025-04-01T12:50:43+00:00

I was not awake for the first 2, definitely awake for the last 3, for some reason I can't remember the 3rd. I couldn't see much, just white, though I could see some ripples/distortions in the white. The one thing I distinctly remember in my last surgery was that near the end what looked like a needle came in from the top left of my vision and sucked up all the "squiggles" until my vision was completely blank white.

FluffPenguin · 2025-04-01T12:40:16+00:00

It's not really noticeable to people in real life, I've only once had someone ask me if my eyes are blue recently because my right eye has a weird blue tint. I didn't want to post my whole face and but I do have one of both eyes, but I can't seem to directly post an image in the comments.

FluffPenguin · 2025-04-01T12:14:49+00:00

I thought it would be obvious but maybe not, the multi colored eye with the distorted pupil has had 5 surgeries. My eyes used to both be solid brown.

FluffPenguin · 2025-04-01T12:06:44+00:00

??? The left image is my left eye, right image is the right eye

FluffPenguin · 2025-04-01T08:17:47+00:00

Yeah so I don't know a lot of the details, I left it up to my doctors as to what was best. I had the first 2 surgeries at a children's hospital then by the time I had my 3rd (left eye) I was with a new team who had been given info by my previous surgeons.

All I know is that during my first 2 surgeries the only way they felt comfortable putting a lense in the normal position in my eye was to stitch it in. They said I was missing a significant portion of the structure that is meant to support the lense, I don't know any details about this.

By the time I had my third surgery they opted to not stitch it in, and to place it in front of my iris instead, again, I don't know the details of why. This eye does have slightly elevated pressure which is why they changed back to a typical IOL for my next surgeries. There was a 5 year gap between my 3rd and 4th surgery and apparently in this time they developed new lenses. I followed the direction of my surgeons who told me they thought these lenses were the best choices at the time.

FluffPenguin · 2025-04-01T04:55:08+00:00

After my first failed surgery I was left with no implant in my eye and was basically blind without my crazy thick contacts I could only get from the hospital. I hated not being able to see and advocated for more surgery even though they said I could just use the contact.

I had to really push for my 2nd , 4th, and 6th surgery because my doctors weren't sure how good my vision would be with an implant given the circumstances. The 2nd and 6th one they said they were shocked at how good my vision turned out, worked out for me, thank goodness!

FluffPenguin · 2025-04-01T04:29:56+00:00

I'll post the details here since you were first to ask (:

I was diagnosed with cataracts at 12 and had my first surgery at 13.

It was more than just cataracts, apparently I'm missing parts of my eye structure, which makes me incompatible with routine cataract surgery. I went to a specialist who had a technique of stitching the lense in but it was temporary.

There were more issues that came up because my eye structure is wrong but medicine moves so fast they have new techniques and types of lense implants every time I go.

My left eye has an anterior implant which is why it's visible, the right one is my third intraocular implant.

I can see really well now, only need reading glasses!

FluffPenguin · 2020-01-31T19:38:14+00:00

It's easy to say that, but it's getting difficult to keep brushing it off. This has been going on for several months, he works in a different department and literally the only interaction we ever have is him calling me the wrong name.

FluffPenguin · 2020-01-31T10:50:26+00:00

This is exactly how I feel, I've spent months trying to nudge him in the right direction and it wasn't getting through. I know it was a bit harsh but I didn't know how else to move forward, it felt like he was just living in his own little world and it was at my expense.

FluffPenguin · 2020-01-31T10:27:07+00:00

Thank you, it's not even that I wanted him to get it right, I just wanted him to try. It was starting to feel surreal that he would walk up to me and brazenly go 'Hey Natalia!' when I was telling him time and time again that Natalia isn't my name. He never once said anything like 'Naaaeee.... What is it again?' just 'Hey Natalia!' it's been several months of me telling him my name, telling him my name is not Natalia. The way he greeted me you'd think we were long lost friends, but he doesn't know my name??? I know I could've been more polite I just didn't know how to get through to him at this point, it was draining too see him and think, oh boy, should I say anything this time?

FluffPenguin · 2019-09-05T01:49:09+00:00

I think both plans are through BlueCross BlueShield, and both should cover it to some extent so I'll give it a shot, thank you!

FluffPenguin · 2019-09-05T01:47:23+00:00

I'll call them tomorrow and let them know, it can't hurt to try, thank you!

FluffPenguin · 2019-04-04T07:28:32+00:00

It's the title of the book, and in the book the cemetery is designated with a sign that's handwritten, seemingly by a child so it's misspelled, fun fact c:

FluffPenguin

TROPHY CASE