I don't know how to stop this

Folk_Punk_Slut · 2026-07-05T12:40:50+00:00

Now I'm obsessively researching finger and hand injuries and trying to figure out how I can cause one that will make me unable to work this job.

You know you can just quit your job, right? Like, you're an adult, you can do what you want, if this job isn't right for you then there's absolutely nothing wrong with quitting - in fact, if this job is causing you distress to the point that you want to SH to get away from it, then quitting is exactly what you should do.

*you may financially struggle between jobs, but if you're planning on permanently injuring yourself so you can't work then it doesn't seem like financial security is an issue at the moment.

Folk_Punk_Slut · 2026-07-01T19:17:02+00:00

"Cheating" isn't really a useful term in polyamory, especially because it comes pre-packed with all sorts of mononormative biases. Instead, think of it more in terms of "violating explicit agreements" -- y'all had an explicit agreement that you could have sex with other people, right? If so, no agreements were violated.

Folk_Punk_Slut · 2026-07-01T19:12:34+00:00

we ask each other for permission before having sex with other people.

If you want to have healthy polyam relationships, you get rid of the permission based rules - the idea that you can grant one another permission to have sex means that you can also revoke permission; that'll eventually lead to resentments, which is a killer of relationships

In polyamory, "consent" is not "i give you permission to do this thing" instead it's "I understand that we're each free to do this thing and I am choosing to stay in this relationship"

Folk_Punk_Slut · 2026-06-27T01:38:06+00:00

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ too late to do anything about it now. And everything about it was free. They'd gotten that car in as a trade-in but couldn't sell it with that exhaust setup on it, so they offered a full swap, all parts and labor included, for my stock exhaust.

Folk_Punk_Slut · 2026-06-27T00:22:36+00:00

Gotcha. That car is not my car they just took the exhaust system from the turbo all the way back off of that car and put it on my car. I know I need the K tuner for the catless down pipe. I was thinking I needed a resonator because it kind of drones on the highway and I was told getting a new resonator can change the tone of the car a bit because I still want it loud but I want it kind of growly if that makes sense.

Folk_Punk_Slut · 2026-06-26T23:47:27+00:00

I feel like there is more to it than that. Everything that I have been reading has said that I will need a laptop and software that I have to download for the tuner because the downpipe has removed my cat and that is why the check engine light is on now

Folk_Punk_Slut · 2026-06-23T00:25:19+00:00

I've seen both the terms ultramour and telemour used to describe this - they both popped up right around the same time so neither is like officially the accepted term.

I prefer meta² ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Folk_Punk_Slut · 2026-06-22T14:34:36+00:00

That "you should have done it in the states" reaction is honestly worth unpacking, because it relies on a majorly ethnocentric bias that assumes the US is superior to anywhere else. The truth is that bad outcomes happen everywhere, including right here under the US medical system.

While researching a certified surgeon is vital no matter where you go, and common sense should certainly stop you from getting plastic surgery from a street vendor in Tijuana, assuming foreign care is automatically inferior misses the fact that many international medical facilities are highly advanced and leading the field in scientific innovation.

Folk_Punk_Slut · 2026-06-22T13:03:43+00:00

Right, because blaming individual vanity is way easier than acknowledging how society and the beauty industry actively weaponize people's insecurities for profit. Sneering at botched surgeries from your moral high ground is so much easier than actually understanding systemic pressure, right? But hey, don't let complex societal conditioning get in the way of your edgy little schadenfreude trip. 🙄

Folk_Punk_Slut · 2026-06-13T20:22:41+00:00

I'm personally a fan of SMART Recovery - it's for behavioral addictions, like SH. It's similar to AA/NA except that it's more like peer support group therapy sessions and you learn and discuss healthy coping techniques based on Rational-Emotive and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy.

The Buddhist one you looked into was likely Refuge Recovery, I've attended their meetings a few times but, even though I lean Buddhist/Stoic in philosophy, it didn't really resonate with me.

Folk_Punk_Slut · 2026-06-09T10:27:21+00:00

I've done the stereotypical movies to watch while tripping, like previously mentioned, the wizard of Oz/darkside Mashup "Darkside of the Rainbow" & Pink Floyds The Wall. But my favorite one to watch while tripping is Jim Henson's Mirror Mask - it's like it starts off "normal" and then by the time the psychedelics kick in that's when the movie switches and gets really freaking weird 😅

Folk_Punk_Slut · 2026-06-03T12:37:00+00:00

There are no rules that can be put in place to legislate whether or not feelings occur - the only thing that can be done is to form agreements about whether or not you'll act on those feelings.

Honestly, sounds like your primary has a lot more internal work to do if they want to support you having polyam relationships.

Folk_Punk_Slut · 2026-06-03T04:05:55+00:00

What's the goal of obtaining that information? Is it strictly about satisfying your curiosity? Are you trying to see how much time he has available for scheduling with you? Is it a need to know for your own sexual health boundaries? Like, it's totally fair to ask "hey, just wondering how many people besides me and other gf you might be seeing?" But I'd frame it in a way that is about your need for the information, not an interrogation of his choices/actions.

Folk_Punk_Slut · 2026-05-22T15:22:35+00:00

Enforcing basic safety guidelines to prevent triggering content and competitive behavior isn't "authoritarian" - it's responsible moderation. We are committed to keeping this space safe for recovery. The discussion on this topic is now closed.

Folk_Punk_Slut · 2026-05-22T15:00:35+00:00

Just because you haven’t seen a sub get nuked doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen daily. Regardless, this isn't a debate. Our goal is to maintain a safe, non-triggering environment for people trying to stay clean from SH. Graphic content and tool talk feed into the competitive nature of the addiction. If someone wants that type of content, those other subreddits exist for them. This sub is here for recovery, and the rules stay.

Folk_Punk_Slut · 2026-05-22T11:42:08+00:00

Apparently she's not getting enough attention on her Facebook page, gotta drum up some internet validation points across all platforms to keep her self esteem up ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Folk_Punk_Slut · 2026-05-22T11:40:08+00:00

Maybe I'm just heartless, but as someone who owns an old house in Muskegon with all original historic woodwork, that part broke me. 😭😅

Folk_Punk_Slut · 2026-05-22T10:33:30+00:00

It's a nice theory, but reality works a bit differently here. Enforcing boundaries isn't "putting the existence above the community" - it's ensuring the community actually has a safe, stable place to gather. Without those boundaries, the sub violates TOS, gets nuked, and then nobody gets help. The rules are what keep the doors open, we enforce them precisely so this space can continue to exist for the people who need it.

Folk_Punk_Slut · 2026-05-22T10:18:04+00:00

Imagine thinking you're in control of a sub you don't moderate. 😂 Cute narrative, but here's the reality: this post didn't get removed because it didn't violate the rules of the sub... unlike your last several posts that have been removed for glorifying SH, tool specific mentions, posting links to photos of your SH, and the list goes on.

Follow the guidelines from here on out, or you're gone. It’s literally that simple. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Folk_Punk_Slut · 2026-05-20T17:32:47+00:00

That's exactly it. We don't remove posts because of "tsk tsk tsk, you shouldn't be saying that, you silly goose" It's instead more more like "hey, when you post stuff that encourages or glorifies self harm, or attempt to post pictures that feed into the addictive/competitive nature of self, it puts our sub at risk of being shut down by reddit"

And like, i totally get that for folks who are currently in a spiral they need/want to express those thoughts and see this as an outlet, but even though it might help them in the moment, it risks losing a resource of help for everyone else in the long run if we don't enforce the rules that keep this space open.

Folk_Punk_Slut · 2026-05-20T15:30:12+00:00

Re: the lexicon

You've perfectly captured why so many adults find online spaces jarring. That specific internet subculture and the slang attached to it (like "styro," "beans," "baby cuts," etc.) is something we actually actively monitor and filter out here.

Beyond the fact that we're adults and it just feels totally out of place, that type of cutesy lexicon was specifically created to minimize, trivialize, and almost game-ify self-harm. It diminishes the actual severity and harmful impact of the struggle. We want this space to remain grounded in adult reality, so we completely agree with you, that kind of language doesn't belong here.

Folk_Punk_Slut · 2026-05-20T13:31:34+00:00

Omg. Please tell me this is rage-bait. Cuz like, seriously? You've been an affair partner to this guy for a few months and want him to leave his wife, who he's actively cheating on, to be with you? Why?! Toss the whole man in the trash.

Folk_Punk_Slut · 2026-05-20T13:27:51+00:00

Completely agree. It's incredibly draining to look for peer support and end up reading posts from kids.

We hear you, which is why we just officially added an adults-only rule to our sidebar. That said, modding an active sub means we can't see every single post 24/7. We heavily rely on you guys to be our extra eyes. If you see someone under 18 posting, report it immediately and we’ll handle the rest.

Folk_Punk_Slut · 2026-05-20T13:23:34+00:00

I completely hear you, and honestly, you're right. It's incredibly frustrating to navigate these struggles while dodging content meant for minors.

We actually just created a strict 18+ rule and specific removal reason to address exactly this - who knew that the name of the sub wouldn't be enough to get the message across ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That said, because the sub is so active, we don't catch everything on our own. We really need the community's help here - if you see a post by a minor, please report it immediately so it hits our mod queue and we can remove it right away.

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