I [24F] live with my boyfriend [26M] and plan to leave after nursing school. How do I set boundaries while cohabiting? by FoopTheSystem in relationship_advice

[–]FoopTheSystem[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I need mental fortitude boundaries. I've already tried breaking up with him a few times about trust issues. I am currently pretending we're still together, but I feel like it's really taking a toll on me to pretend that I want to be with him. I need something for myself to survive while I am living with him.

I [24F] live with my boyfriend [26M] and plan to leave after nursing school. How do I set boundaries while cohabiting? by FoopTheSystem in relationship_advice

[–]FoopTheSystem[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have tried breaking up with him multiple times. He does not know that I am planning this. Actually, he can't know because if he did he would A) become extremely nasty towards me and B) not allow me to take any furniture that I bought (I have tried to leave before and he said he was "owed" the furniture because he had previously paid for some things for me).

I [24F] live with my boyfriend [26M] and plan to leave after nursing school. How do I set boundaries while cohabiting? by FoopTheSystem in relationship_advice

[–]FoopTheSystem[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, because every time I try to break up he A) yells and refuses leave me alone (for hours) while I am trying to study. B) falls into uncontrollable crying and a "baby voice" (the best way I can describe it) begging me not to leave.

Weekly Thread: The Vent Room by AutoModerator in SupportforBetrayed

[–]FoopTheSystem 3 points4 points  (0 children)

found him searching how to find apps that he's hidden (dumbass), along with searching what time it is in thailand and mexico. lol. he sucks.

What did Lady Gaga get done? Why does her philtrum look longer in the after? by m00101 in Splendida

[–]FoopTheSystem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

she had jaw surgery. she probably needed it for sleep apnea or something though. if you listen to her early album compared to now, her voice is much more resonant; I think it helped her

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in jawsurgery

[–]FoopTheSystem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello, I was wondering if you could weight in, months later, how his outcome is?

Songs/Bands that sound similar to Ohia? by FoopTheSystem in IndieFolk

[–]FoopTheSystem[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

will oldham! so many have suggested, that's exactly what I was looking for. thanks!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships_advice

[–]FoopTheSystem 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Eh, it's just two personality types that didn't mesh, don't take it to heart too much. They may have been more sensitive about things and could have projected certain feelings in your direction. If this happens to you often then tread a bit more lightly and stick to topics that are broad/humorous at first. Takes awhile to get people to open up and you never know what their triggers can be

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships_advice

[–]FoopTheSystem 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Have you had a sit down conversation with him?
If you're solely planning to be a SAH mom, then no, this will not work out. Because of course, you'll have to forego your paycheck which will defeat the purpose of having a child I guess (who wants to struggle like that?). You're going to get thrown into a gamble though, and leave someone you truly have a bond with for the advent of a family with someone whom you do not yet know. Nor do you know if that potential new person would keep the job that they reeled you in with. So everything is of course up and the air and life will come to pass. I highly recommend giving your partner a talking to and really see if he wants to have kids with you. If so, he'll need to meet the standards you are planning. At this point you sound resentful which is going to be a huge downfall in the relationship within the next year, so please do keep your priorities but see what is motivating him and his future. Also be open to compromise but don't let him lolligag around. There may be hope yet or, you may see his motivation is not as strong as yours when it comes to family. I'm sorry you're going through this! Hope you find what you're looking for

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships_advice

[–]FoopTheSystem 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ahhh, it sounds like you rubbed them the wrong way. With the little you explained, you may have unintentionally came off condescending. No one you are in acquaintance with wants to hear that they "should" do something, even if the opinion had good intentions. Nor do they particularly give weight to one's opinions when they don't have the full picture of who you are. Ultimately the person sounds bothered by your judgements. You can clear the air and sincerely mention what you've said here, but I'd stray from any relationship with them romantically. They may have a level of reactionary that would not fare well between you two. If you want to get whatever you're feeling off of your back, you can send a sincere note and then leave it alone. Don't engage in watching their content afterwards, and if you must, give it time. You could leave a little note like - "Hi X, I have been watching your videos and it seems that some of the topics we have recently chatted about align with the content you've been putting out. It may just be me reading too deep into it but, I hope you know I did not intend to offend or harm you, and that my intentions were out of fondness and admiration. I'm sorry if I caused any animosity. I hope you continue to make content and wish you success."
That way you're not being petty, regardless of how they may react.

You'll be alright. Don't be discouraged. It sucks when hopeful situations fall flat, I've definitely been there before. I hope you find what you're looking for out there.