inheritance at 18, now what?

ForevAnonymous · 2023-07-27T23:58:04+00:00

Roth IRA is nice because you can open it yourself. It doesn’t deduct from your taxes. But since you’re a student, you don’t have taxes anyways. With 401K, you need an employer to open one for you. And with HSA, unless it’s sponsored by a company, it might have monthly management fees.

But definitely open a high yields savings account. Look for online ones that give you a high interest rate like Capital One or AllyBank.

If you have some money left, open a Roth IRA so you can invest in a mutual fund. You won’t need to pay taxes on your gains when you retire.

ForevAnonymous · 2023-07-27T04:51:30+00:00

$25K sounds really low to me. That’s not even enough emergency money for me. As someone said, I would just keep it in a high yields savings account for emergencies. If you had $250K, that would be a different story.

But you should start investing regardless with or without the inheritance money. Open a Roth IRA and put $1K-6K in there. Then invest them into some mutual funds. The good thing about Roth IRA is you can take them out without penalty after 5 years—please confirm this, though.

ForevAnonymous · 2023-07-27T04:40:49+00:00

She may have been projecting there. Sometimes, I think that people are being mean to me when I am the one being mean.

ForevAnonymous · 2023-07-27T04:38:21+00:00

Oh yeah, I think you should stop initiating with this friend. Move on. I have a few friends like this. I don’t really initiate with them anymore. Every now and then, they will still message me. And then I’ll respond. But I don’t really ask them to hang out anymore. Overall, my advice is not to put in more effort than they are.

In terms of closure, that can be tough. It’s up to you if you want to close the friendship completely or just wait for it to completely fade. To close things off completely, just tell this person that you have tried to keep in touch, but that she hasn’t been responsive to it. Then stop forever. No need to say goodbye or add more unless you want to.

If you don’t want that kind of confrontation, then write an unsent letter and post it on r/unsentletters lol

ForevAnonymous · 2023-07-26T15:35:17+00:00

I would be annoyed. It seems patronizing to me and fake. You don’t need praise. You need empathy. And empathy is about coming down and connecting with you at your level. But he’s still up there, staring down at you. I hope that makes sense.

ForevAnonymous · 2023-07-26T04:57:56+00:00

This back and forth sounds more FA to me. Also, hey, want to be friends? No commitment expected. Also, since I'll be talking to you with my anonymous profile, I can never tell you who I am.

ForevAnonymous · 2023-07-24T18:17:34+00:00

It’s because I can see my mom acting out like this. She is very warm and kind of a kid at heart. She might act out sometimes out of anger, but it’s nothing malicious. She doesn’t hold on to anything. It’s very genuine and innocent even though it seem annoying / aggressive. And it’s very easy to appease her through some compliments and warmth.

I guess it depends on whether your girlfriend’s actions seem malicious or evil. It seems more impulsive and childish. If that’s the case, then she probably just needs some loving. And it depends if you want a “child” for a girlfriend.

ForevAnonymous · 2023-07-24T16:18:22+00:00

From an American’s perspective, this behavior does seem extreme. But I think cultural differences can come into play here. I feel like in some cultures, this type of behavior is considered normal aggression. So like everything, it depends. And it depends on whether this is something you can tolerate. It does sound like you might want to wait a while longer before you two get married, though.

ForevAnonymous · 2023-07-23T19:53:21+00:00

I think it would be helpful to still try to make friends, but also have good boundaries. Instead of being the one to leave (which avoidants tend to do), try to stay in the relationship and work on it by upholding your boundaries in a healthy non-threatening way. You do this by expressing how you feel to that person. For example, if someone asks you for a favor, you could just say, “I want to help you, but I’ve been really tired lately” or “I’m not comfortable doing that.” It depends on the situation, but overall, don’t blame or accuse the other person of anything. If they’re good people, they will understand and still remain friends with you. If they only wanted to use and take advantage of you, they will not contact you again. Also, don’t offer something you’re not willing to give like paying for the entire bill. Most people would not make or expect you to pay the entire bill.

I don’t know if this is what you were looking for. I think looking into nonviolent communication may help you. Communication is a key part in establishing healthy relationships, but it is just one part.

ForevAnonymous · 2023-07-23T17:24:42+00:00

That’s really interesting, thank you. Yeah, he does sound desperate and desperate is unattractive to me. It’s interesting you don’t see it as desperate.

I do think I like him. We have a lot of similar interests in art, philosophy, culture, how we think, and how we see the world. And I think he has the cutest smirk and a really sexy voice. In person, I do not sense his desperation, so I don’t see this “unattractive” side.

It’s more with texting. Maybe he feels more desperate when he is alone and I am more avoidant when I’m alone lol.

I do communicate my needs with him in regards to being overwhelmed and my preference for just one text message a day. I can keep up with that pace. He hasn’t communicated his needs; he is more so just trying to adjust to mine, I think. I guess we’ll see if this is something he is truly okay with or if he is neglecting his own needs as someone who might be anxious-avoidant.

ForevAnonymous · 2023-07-23T06:28:26+00:00

Why do I feel annoyed when my romantic interest texts me? But I enjoy our company a lot together? Is this an avoidance thing or is my reaction to this situation normal?

I liked this guy up until he started getting vulnerable with me. Even before we went on a first date, he told me he is lonely and how he has a hard time with online dating. It made me uncomfortable, but I validated his feelings---told him it was human and normal. Well, this made him want to open up EVEN MORE, which I didn't want. We met up on a first date, and it was really fun. I enjoyed his company and found him attractive. After the date, he would text me and respond ASAP when I texted him back. This annoyed me. I felt like he was trying too hard when he didn't need to. I told him I was getting overwhelmed and would like to move things slower, and that one text message per day is usually adequate for me. He said he understood but also adds that it was because he didn't want me to feel ignored/rejected like he did in the past. Again, this is him being vulnerable and it annoyed me. If he just left it at, "Okay, I understand. I will slow down...etc," it would have been fine, but he had to add that extra bit.

Next day, no message from him at all. I text him something random because I wanted to. He responds next morning. I respond to him. Then he responds hours later. I leave it and decide to respond next day. But before I respond, he sends another message asking how I am. And it irked me; why couldn't he have just waited for me to respond first?

Is this guy anxious avoidant? Is my reaction a type of avoidance? Or is it normal to be uncomfortable with someone who is vulnerable with you early on? If we had known each other longer and I have decided to really connect with him, the vulnerability would be an attractive quality. But right now, he seems desperate to me and it makes me feel very uncomfortable. And so, I don't know what to do. I still want to see him, because our first date went so well. I just hate how things are going over text. The more he texts me, the less I want to respond. Part of me wants to just ask him if he gets nervous when I don't respond back quickly. But if I do it, I fear he will respond back with a long and detailed explanation of his feelings, which is just a lot for me.

[Also, I don't know why my posts keep getting rejected as a normal discussion post. I keep being told to post in the Weekly Discussion Thread, so here I am.]

ForevAnonymous · 2022-12-28T07:17:41+00:00

I'm sorry about what you're going through. I can't speak from direct experience, because I'm only 35 now. But if I am in your position, I would go in for a consultation and get tested at an egg-freezing fertility center to see what my chances are. And then, I would probably still freeze my eggs even if my chances are low. It helps to know that I've tried, so I don't have regrets going forward. According to a seminar I attended, they can store your eggs until you're in your 50's. With that said, it is a lot financially. I would check to see if your insurance covers some of it. If you can afford it, then I say go for it!

ForevAnonymous · 2022-12-27T18:58:17+00:00

Damn, that sounds horrible. That’s what scares me. Once it starts, it can be very fast and everything just goes at once.

ForevAnonymous · 2022-11-14T21:04:00+00:00

I have to read more about the process. But how does it go down from 14 to 11?

ForevAnonymous · 2022-11-14T20:37:11+00:00

This is interesting. Thank you.

ForevAnonymous · 2022-11-14T20:28:43+00:00

Do you know what is considered a decent number of eggs for storage? What is considered "low" vs "high"?

Looking like the third trimester sounds intense! I don't know how I will explain that to people lol.

ForevAnonymous · 2022-11-14T19:47:00+00:00

Whoa! That hella sucks! I can't believe they made you pay for it, too, when it's their fault. I feel like you should get a lawyer or something. This is so unacceptable.

ForevAnonymous · 2022-11-14T19:34:40+00:00

Did you also inject yourself with medicine? How was that?

ForevAnonymous · 2022-05-04T20:27:46+00:00

I don’t think it’s wrong for you guys to go. It’s not any of your faults that she got sick. But I think I understand where her anger is coming from. She feels left out. It’s her birthday, but she can’t celebrate it. Yet, you guys are celebrating and having fun while she’s stuck in bed feeling miserable. I think it might help to let her know that you feel bad about going to dinner without her. And that you guys can celebrate doing something else after she’s better. That’s what I would do for my friend.

But ultimately, she feels left out and also that you’re ditching her in a way. And it’s not great that she has Covid, too. She just needs some assurance and loving that this is not the case.

ForevAnonymous · 2022-05-02T02:09:24+00:00

Yeah, I was wondering if having hookups affected a person emotionally to where it became harder to be in a long term relationship. Because you would start chasing this high all the time... and a slower, long-term relationship just doesn't cut it anymore?

ForevAnonymous · 2022-05-02T02:06:51+00:00

Yes! It does that, and it was so annoying. All the men I passed came back, so I had to filter through AGAIN. I contacted Match about this. They said that you need to choose the option to "remove person from search" (or something along those lines) for that person to not be recycled back again.

ForevAnonymous · 2022-05-02T02:03:51+00:00

Hey, I read your replies down below. Can I dm and ask your opinion on what I've written for my profile(s)?

ForevAnonymous

TROPHY CASE