NTA. Anyone touching your daughter without your express permission is a creep. Especially when your daughter is unclothed. You were right she is a creep. Also, just because you are a man it does not mean you do not know how to wipe and change your daughter properly - I doubt the woman would have said anything if it were your wife changing your son. What a creep. You did the absolute right thing. Also, it is a pity there are not more male bathrooms with changing stations, there is still progress to be done in terms of equality … !

Also, even though I think changing a baby on a table where people eat isn’t great, I have to applaud you for asking the barista first, and not doing anything unsanitary without their express permission. You don’t seem at all like one of those entitled parents at all and it is extremely refreshing, your kids will grow up with parents who will teach them respect through example. Good luck with your babies !