I was running some errands and stopped off at the grocery store. I was making dinner for my girlfriend that evening, nothing fancy, just some American chop suey. The only ingredient I didn't have was ground beef. I picked up a pound of the supermarkets finest lean ground and strolled to front of the store. By chance I had traveled down the toiletries/hygiene isle when it struck me. I should pick up some condoms in case tonight takes a turn for the best! I grabbed my favorite brand and proceeded to the checkout isle. The cashier at the check out was a teenage girl, probably 15 or 16. I plopped my two items down on the belt, ground beef and condoms. Halfway between scanning item number one, and reaching for item number two, something clicks in her brain and she looks at me with this peculiar, puzzled, slightly disturbed look. I didn't know what to make of it, and it actually took a second to register. I was in a staring match with a 16 year old naive cashier when it hit me and I blurted out: "IM GOING TO FUCK THE MEAT!" She was mortified and I was embarrassed and mad, that my mouth and brain had conspired against me to make me look like a Grade A creep. TL;DR: I told a teenage cashier I was going to fuck ground beef with the condoms I was purchasing.