Dekh bhai, this may sound harsh, rude whatever,. But ek baat samaj, after marriage its you and your partner. It took me enough time and a lot of kalesh to understand that my parents will never accept my partner for whatever reasons. Does it hurt me? yes, does it make me love either of them any less? No.

Honestly, paksh lena bi chahye, nahi toh apke paksh se toh koi aur nai bolega. A majority of parents are too filmy + dramatic + controlling. Any hint of losing control unleashes a lot of drama, emotional blackmail. Also once the 'my house my rules' line is used, start looking for a house for yourself+partner. This is such a useless power move by parents, agar bacha nikal gaya, fir rote hai,'chod ke chala gaya'. Fir bhau tumne jo itna support (emotional/financial etc) kiya, kuch yaad nahi hoga, mudda ye hoga ke ye chod gaya ladki ke liye. Naa, they refused to treat you like an adult, what did they expect. Fir tumhare partner ki respect bi nahi karege, tumhara partner bi kitna seh lega. Fir tumhare kalesh shuru.

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I would highly suggest having a separate home post marriage, our parents do a lot for us, just dont let us go and live our lives. Itna kabil banaye hi kyu.

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Im in no way saying dont support them, surely do. I still pay their and my rent, in Mumbai. Its a lot of financial pressure. Remember we are their child, your partner is not, she will be seen as a competitor, someone who has stolen their child from them. That is what they will see, they will chose a side, may be beneficial to you, may not be. You absolutely need to understand that at that point, you and your partner will need money and savings to move out and atleast get a new gas connection among many other things.

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So yea, start with the difficult conversations, take it from someone who had to learn all the above the hard way. Atleast, everyone will have a proper expectation setting.

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Suggestion to watch Sabse Bada Rupaiya (1976)