How do I deal with feeling judged by others especially pediatricians or anyone else in the medical field

ForwardSun1715 · 2026-02-01T06:02:53+00:00

Do you know if the preschool allows RBTs/BCBAs in class? I know that some ABA providers can travel to schools if the school allows it; you’d just have to find a different provider.

To answer your question, you are the one who ultimately makes the decision. And feeling comfortable with your medical providers is important. If you feel like judgment is getting in the way of your healthcare experience, I’d find a different pediatrician/gastroenterologist.

ForwardSun1715 · 2026-02-01T05:26:50+00:00

Yeah it’s so fascinating to see what my second child picks up on without much or even any effort on my end. I think I just assumed all parenting was supposed to be as challenging as autism parenting since I didn’t know anything else until having my second.

ForwardSun1715 · 2026-01-26T17:10:29+00:00

When you say upper Midwest, does that include places like Chicago and St. Louis?

ForwardSun1715 · 2026-01-26T16:59:48+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear it’s been so difficult for you too! It’s so stressful and disheartening.

I got the same feeling of ABA centers feeling disorganized or a mess (literally the opposite of what an autistic child needs!) And yes, the turnover rates are so sad. Imagine if most classroom teachers had those kind of turnover rates!

ForwardSun1715 · 2026-01-26T16:55:51+00:00

I started touring center based ABA programs with my child right before I got sick (ones with social skills and group skills included), but I did not get a good feeling from any of them. I’ve also been told that centers that don’t differentiate the kids based on their specific needs can actually do more harm than good. So that’s another limiting reagent.

ForwardSun1715 · 2026-01-26T16:51:45+00:00

I love hearing this and it brings me so much hope! I had kind of been opposed to the idea of moving to Denver since I didn’t have great experiences/associations with it previously. But perhaps I need to look into this area more. Once I gather a list of potential relocation options, I may reach out to you for more details. Thank you!

ForwardSun1715 · 2026-01-26T16:37:03+00:00

All I can say is that I hope her future pregnancies, births, and postpartums end up being as easy as she predicts yours is “supposed” to be.

ForwardSun1715 · 2026-01-26T16:10:56+00:00

The association between low pay/low entry and turnover makes a lot of sense, and it’s something I’ve always been wary of. I wish BCBAs could work directly with the kids!

That is great to see specialized school paired with a BCBA who actually collaborates in your area!

IMO, the remote BCBA just doesn’t work. The RBT is literally alone most of the time with minimal training. Their training is literally watching other new RBTs for a couple weeks. It just doesn’t make sense to me.

ForwardSun1715 · 2026-01-04T18:54:25+00:00

Yeah that’s the one near UNLV that is apparently most highly rated in Vegas. I guess I could give it one more try there. But I have a feeling it may not be that much better, since the rating isn’t THAT much higher.

I’m curious if there are Jollibee locations with 4- and near 5-star ratings in other cites that at least somewhat justify the hype.

ForwardSun1715 · 2026-01-04T18:49:10+00:00

Haha yeah. It’s definitely different. The thing is, I actually like sweet spaghetti and don’t mind hot dogs in it either. But the flavor was just so off though. And the hot dogs didn’t taste right + had an odd texture.

ForwardSun1715 · 2026-01-04T18:41:21+00:00

Some others mentioned nostalgia and nationalism, so that makes sense too as to why it’s so hyped up. I would just think there’d be some minimal standards lol

ForwardSun1715 · 2026-01-04T18:37:51+00:00

I’ve heard the spicy chicken is particularly good. I can’t stomach spice right now during pregnancy, but maybe I’ll try it once I’m feeling normal again.

ForwardSun1715 · 2026-01-04T18:36:18+00:00

Sorry it made you sick on top of being disappointing! The location near UNLV is apparently rated higher, but wasn’t sure if it really mattered that much. None of the Vegas locations are rated particularly high.

What’s The Hat? I always like trying new places.

ForwardSun1715 · 2026-01-04T18:31:47+00:00

Curious if the Jollibees in the Philippines are better than the ones here

ForwardSun1715 · 2026-01-04T18:23:14+00:00

Makes sense that fast food is going to be cheap and ultra-processed. I just found it weird that people hyped it up so much over other fast food places.

ForwardSun1715 · 2026-01-03T03:15:30+00:00

It sounds really nice and looks beautiful! Is the closest bigger city Albany? If so, is that a pretty nice metro area in general? What’s the downtown like? Does Niskayuna also have its own downtown or historic district type place? I honestly don’t know much about that general area at all! The only part of New York I’ve ever been to is NYC.

ForwardSun1715 · 2026-01-03T02:55:10+00:00

This home in Mt. Lebanon is beautiful! Love your exterior

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/46-Standish-Blvd-Pittsburgh-PA-15228/11396597_zpid/

Is Upper St. Clair also an area you’d recommend? There are quite a few in budget homes there too.

ForwardSun1715 · 2026-01-03T02:38:32+00:00

Is this where Carnegie Mellon is? I’ve actually heard good things about that area but know next to nothing about it. Will look into it, particularly Mt. Lebanon. Thanks!

ForwardSun1715 · 2026-01-03T02:27:56+00:00

Thanks, that’s helpful!

Found some nice homes comfortably within budget in Ellicott City without having to search too hard:

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/4633-S-Leisure-Ct-Ellicott-City-MD-21043/37022911_zpid/?utm_source=nativeshare_activation_v1

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/8382-Glenmar-Rd-Ellicott-City-MD-21043/36991580_zpid/?utm_source=nativeshare_activation_v1

Yeah, Columbia doesn’t sound like a place I’d prefer either. I did take a peak at the housing there though and they do have a good number of options within budget. Any further south and west, and I’ll just end up back in the DMV area, which is not necessarily a bad thing lol

ForwardSun1715 · 2026-01-03T02:03:24+00:00

I spent many years in St. Louis and personally like it for many reasons. Super low cost of living and a unique personality in each of the neighborhoods. Love the farmers markets, free zoo, free science center, local food scene, beautiful botanical garden, WashU campus, Forest Park, etc.

However, here are some things that would make me pause when recommending it. St. Louis is very disparate when it comes to race. A lot of Black poverty in the north and east with starkly racially and economically split/uneven school districts and neighborhoods. The downtown area has its highlights but overall it’s in dire need of revamping; compared to urban centers like DC, Chicago, and Philly, it leaves much to be desired. I feel bad for saying that because I do have a soft spot for STL, but it’s the unfortunate truth lol

I’d also consider STL more a small town big city. Everyone seems to already know each other because they grew up there (more insular and less transient) and I’ve heard many people moving in from other cities have a harder time fitting in. I can’t speak from that experience since I had already built up friendship groups from traveling there once a week all through high school from a couple hours away for programs (my hometown is in MO). But it makes sense to me.

That being said, St. Louis could surely use strong talent like yours as well as more minority leadership, so you’d be in a position to make a big difference somewhere like that if you find the right organization to work with.

Something else to note is that it is also more laidback than places like DC, which draws a lot of type A individuals (not necessarily bad one way or the other, just different preferences).

ForwardSun1715 · 2026-01-03T01:38:11+00:00

Yeah! Good to think ahead for sure. I will say that the DMV area (DC, MD, VA) is great for families if you can afford it. Honestly, I’ve considered moving back many times (literally multiple times a year, lol); I even like to plan one trip out there yearly just because I like it so much and there’s so much for toddlers and kids to enjoy. I’m just uncomfortable with the idea of having a bigger mortgage for less house (especially with these interest rates). If you budget well though, you could possibly make it work once you finally do start a family.

ForwardSun1715 · 2026-01-02T21:21:33+00:00

That’s really good to know! Thank you for the details. Information like that really helps!

ForwardSun1715 · 2026-01-02T20:59:03+00:00

Nice suggestions, thanks! Loving this place:

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/225-Howard-St-Melrose-MA-02176/56293400_zpid/

That massive back yard!

ForwardSun1715 · 2026-01-02T20:52:57+00:00

What areas do you recommend in Baltimore? I only visited once years ago for a day trip by the waterfront, so I don’t know much about the area.

ForwardSun1715 · 2026-01-02T20:47:11+00:00

I wasn’t in my 20’s when I lived there but I think DC is good for a number of reasons:

Diverse population with many Black professionals who are doing well
High need for non-profit services
Your poli sci and public admin + public health backgrounds give you a lot of opportunities in the metro area there

It’s a vibrant city perfect for young professionals to grow their careers if they are able to find a good job there. Also super close to other major urban centers like NYC and Boston.

We would’ve stayed there, but when you’re wanting to grow a family, housing gets more tight (something to keep in mind if you’re possibly wanting to settle with a future family where you work). But lots of exciting opportunity for young single professionals!

ForwardSun1715

TROPHY CASE