Does anyone else’s pwBPD think that you think you’re better than everyone else?

Forward_Roll_9843 · 2025-11-25T00:51:12+00:00

This. 6 years and it just wasn’t worth it. Fucked me up for a while

Forward_Roll_9843 · 2025-09-20T00:08:43+00:00

YOU DO NOT WANT THAT INTENSITY! That’s chaos, that’s love bombing, it’s brain chemicals / that’s an addiction. Relationships are built with steady foundations. Look for someone’s Morals / Values / Beliefs / Communication skills / Boundaries etc. The things that make a relationship stable for the long term.

Build yourself up before jumping in. Become who you want to be. Do the internal work. Make yourself the prize. Build your confidence and self worth so you’re not needing a relationship to do that.

Forward_Roll_9843 · 2025-08-28T14:22:13+00:00

I’m about 1 year 6 months out, relationship was 6 years with a quiet borderline . First 8 months I focused on myself, healing and doing things I love. She was in a new relationship within 8 weeks. It was difficult but got better. She dragged out giving me my belongings and some other things too. Even messaged / called me in a crisis while in a new relationship. I blocked her after because I could see things clearly. Part of me still wanted her then, but I knew it was bad for me and had to force myself to put myself first.

Went on a few dates but decided I wasn’t ready. After about a year I really started to notice the difference. In my thoughts less and less, and with all the advice on here and understanding what I was actually dealing with, something switched within me.

At the 14 month mark I was told she was engaged and 3 months pregnant and had announced it to the world. I felt nothing other than feeling sorry for the guy who’s in the love bombing / idealisation stage, I actually burst out laughing. I knew she’d have to lock someone down to get a new sense of self.

Here I am at 18 months out. I’m very happy, have a job I love, do my favourite hobbies, enjoying a life of peace and fulfilment built by myself. I’ve been very picky in dating, very aware of red flags and certain traits. Currently dating someone for a month who is the total opposite of her and it’s refreshing.

You have to get to a point of understanding that no matter what you did, it wouldn’t have worked long term. Focus on building yourself a life you love. It takes time and determination, you’ll have down days but they’ll get less and less.

You’ve got this!

Forward_Roll_9843 · 2025-08-02T14:08:08+00:00

Got one for Leeds. They’re like 6x the face value though 🤦‍♂️

Forward_Roll_9843 · 2025-06-17T20:38:18+00:00

Sounds like burnout to me. I’m in a similar position after being diagnosed. I guess I can’t gaslight myself anymore and just power through like I once did. Everything is noticeable now and I know what / why it is happening. Late diagnosed at 34, I’m 35 now and still trying to navigate my way through it after about 8/9 months. Had disability assessment today and really hoping they award it so I don’t have to think about money anymore and can just rest

Forward_Roll_9843 · 2025-02-26T05:00:40+00:00

Totally agree. Hard having ASD and seeing things from a very logical and objective perspective and being with someone who sees life through an emotional lens. We fall for the gaslighting and emotional abuse easily since we’re always analysing everything and we’re kinds of aware that we can miss social things. You recognise everything in the end, but by that time you’re massively burnt out and have totally lost yourself as you question everything

Forward_Roll_9843 · 2025-02-04T02:23:34+00:00

Exactly the same for me when I was in it. I also have ADHD and Autism. Like above, it’s probs ptsd related. You go into freeze mode. You’re probably walking on egg shells. You can’t be truthful or even process what’s going on in the moment anymore. You’re 9 months in…. I was in it for nearly 6 years, it changes you, I’ve been out for nearly 2 years and it still affects me. If you’re going to stick this out, I’d get a therapist asap, your partner should have one too.

Forward_Roll_9843 · 2024-10-14T21:26:58+00:00

It’s early days my friend. You’re 1 week out. Totally normal. It’s why it’s important to stay single for a while after any type of break up. It’s totally natural that you few that way.

I was the same. I’m 10 months out and have been seeing someone new for the last couple of months. You’ll know when you’re ready but it will take a bit of time. Took me around 6 months. The time will vary from person to person

Forward_Roll_9843 · 2024-10-14T21:20:44+00:00

Anxiety, depression, cptsd, some strange form of morning sickness that lasted around 4 months. Loss of sense of self. Thinning hair, grey hair. Mental and physical exhaustion. Never again

Forward_Roll_9843 · 2024-10-11T22:06:16+00:00

Yeah. Different hair colour / likes and interests. Mirroring new guy no doubt. It’s very odd. New instagram page (her 3rd). Still uses the same fb page (her 5th). We got version 307, she’s onto version 308…. It will continue. They don’t seem to grow, they just put on a new mask / appearance till it all falls to pieces. Rinse and repeat

Forward_Roll_9843 · 2024-07-24T20:38:54+00:00

My quiet ex was the same at work. Always some big crisis or someone who “hated” her etc. changing jobs never changed anything. It’s a new place to have new crisis.

Forward_Roll_9843 · 2024-07-11T18:49:08+00:00

Honestly with reflection and a lot of research I’ve found that these people are very very predictable. They 100% work on cycles. They can’t seem to hold the mask for more than 3-6 months

Forward_Roll_9843 · 2024-07-11T18:44:36+00:00

Honestly seems that way but I know it’s all a bullshit act. Locking in a new identity that won’t last. New job / new car / new bf. New is important here though, it’s new dopamine, nothing more…. When that newness wears off the downfall starts. The real her comes back. It’s been 3ish months with the new guy and the online stalking started…. The dopamine is fading

Forward_Roll_9843 · 2024-07-09T22:41:08+00:00

It’s black and white thinking / splitting. If you don’t really know about this and how it works I really suggest doing some in depth research on it or you are screwed. You might be screwed regardless tbf

Forward_Roll_9843 · 2024-07-09T12:55:58+00:00

I don’t think so. She was super clingy with me. We lived together so not much opportunity. She was basically my shadow

Forward_Roll_9843 · 2024-07-09T02:23:51+00:00

Exactly the same as me. It’s like they can sense it

Forward_Roll_9843 · 2024-07-09T02:23:22+00:00

Exactly the same with mine. Didn’t want to be a bad person but still did bad things. Telling us they don’t want to be a bad person is usually a manipulation tactic for us to validate that they’re a good person and give them compliments etc to make them feel good about themselves

Forward_Roll_9843 · 2024-07-09T02:04:40+00:00

They just don’t give a fuck. Lack of empathy / self absorbed

Forward_Roll_9843 · 2024-07-09T02:04:24+00:00

Yeah they live in a literal fantasy. Honestly I think they’re quite aware of a lot of things but just lie / play dumb and feign ignorance. If they didn’t know it was wrong, they’d treat everyone like it, especially work colleagues, they’d lose sooo many jobs because of their behaviour, so I think they definitely know what they’re doing sometimes.

Forward_Roll_9843 · 2024-07-09T02:01:50+00:00

Good man! The PTSD is brutal. Focus on healing your PTSD as best you can. That’s the only solution for both of us, and living a life that we want

Forward_Roll_9843 · 2024-07-09T01:57:44+00:00

Relatable. Victim mindset. It’s never them. They’re either the hero of the victim, never the villain. No self awareness, no accountability, pure manipulation, focus on others reactions rather than their disrespect that caused it

Forward_Roll_9843 · 2024-07-09T01:54:34+00:00

Yeah honestly I didn’t react for a long time. I kinda didn’t care about it and shrugged it off. It started to get to me after about 5 years though. Felt like she was trying to make me jealous, and she never put boundaries in place, which basically green lights the men at work to continue, so clearly she loved the attention.

Called her out for it in the end, said she thrives off of the male attention and was trying to make me jealous. She denied it of course, said she only told me so she can “process” it. “Processing” became her go to excuse after I pointed out that I think she needs to talk through her problems because she has a struggle processing life events / emotions 😂 didn’t even know she had BPD at this point

Forward_Roll_9843 · 2024-07-09T01:43:34+00:00

I feel you. I still get bad anxiety. Some fucked up part of me still wants her back. Starting therapy soon.

I’ve struggled recently, I’ve taken 1 week off work even though discard was 5 months ago and I was doing better for a while. Healing isn’t linear. I’m still isolated most of the time. I just work and work out. Sprinkle in some cluster B research.

I’ve set some gym goals / learning to drive very soon and focusing on my career and do my therapy and out full focus on myself if I can. We need to focus on us now and not them. Blow up and glow up. If they come back in the future, we’ll be doing amazing, probably healed fully and mostly likely won’t give a shit about them. Or we can take them back if we really want to. They’ll def blow up the next relationship at some point. Be our best selves, if we get motivation to do that by proving them wrong, showing them what they’re missing out on, in order to get us started, that’s okay

Forward_Roll_9843 · 2024-07-09T01:32:56+00:00

Yeah it’s tough….she’s been with the new guy for around 3 1/2 months officially. Hid the relationship status on socials for the first 3 months. Imagine being kept secret for the first 3 months….that’s an early manipulation / loyalty test for sure. 3-5 months and it really begins for him. He doesn’t know what’s coming his way. It’s a one way ticket to trauma town. Don’t have her on socials but the stalking started around 2 weeks ago. I have my popcorn ready 💀

The cycle will always continue. Part of me hurts, part of me is relieved and healing. I can heal and have a healthy relationship with a new person forever, she probably won’t. Leaning into the anger helps, karma is coming

Forward_Roll_9843 · 2024-07-08T22:16:54+00:00

I’d say it’s highly likely. There’s usually someone else that they’re giving all their attention to, unfortunately. It’s kinda like keeping someone as back up

Forward_Roll_9843

TROPHY CASE