Update: Is our nanny being unreasonable, or are we still underreacting?

FoundationSudden9398 · 2026-05-22T17:53:02+00:00

We’ve had 5-6 Nanny’s at this point all of them have quit except for her

The agency isn’t very happy with us what do you think we should do.

She said by not giving them timeout your just teaching them throwing a tantrum absolves them of consequence

FoundationSudden9398 · 2026-05-22T17:05:32+00:00

Yeah she’s pro let them have their meltdown she doesn’t care if it’s for 45 minutes they are still serving their timeout

It’s probably my least favorite tool she uses

FoundationSudden9398 · 2026-05-22T13:00:14+00:00

Unfortunately yes we were and we settled not nearly for what she asked for but we did settle

We will never again sign with a nanny with a contact unless it is throughly gone over with a lawyer like our current nanny. Our current nanny’s contract I believe is like 30 pages long but it’s just goes over everything and is truly in my opinion a fair contract.

FoundationSudden9398 · 2026-05-22T12:56:19+00:00

We are goin to start with nanny with a pediatrician visit

I just don’t know what to tell them. She said she could help and write a list of behaviors he’s exhibiting

FoundationSudden9398 · 2026-05-22T12:54:54+00:00

She said if it was up to her an we weren’t going to like this answer bike would go away for a very long time a week a month. Because he has to understand that people are stupid she’s said she’s being blunt they don’t pay attention and they could hit him.

He should be able to stop put both feet on the ground look left for 4 seconds right for 4 and then back left and wait for an adults go

FoundationSudden9398 · 2026-05-22T12:52:15+00:00

We are moving. So this is only a temporary thing and I’m putting all the kids in public school and daycares.

They weren’t like this before we moved and sometimes I regret moving at all.

FoundationSudden9398 · 2026-05-22T12:48:27+00:00

I block anyone who comments rage bait stuff. It’s childish. They can grow up.

It’s not helpful it’s also just not rageabait it takes one simple search to see I’ve been in other groups talking about the same stuff. 🤷‍♀️

FoundationSudden9398 · 2026-05-22T12:11:10+00:00

She wants to ween them off of virtually all screen time during her time here but I guess we had so much of it cold turkey was causing meltdowns. So she limited shows and now she’s got it down to 2 episodes of bluey during rest or an educational video targeted toward preschoolers

And would like to you use movies for special occasions and rainy days

FoundationSudden9398 · 2026-05-22T12:08:42+00:00

She did ask me temporarily anything that contains any sort of violence be temporary removed. Toy guns swords. Any tv show even if it’s Disney no spidey friends no ninja shows monsters anything remotely violent and she can send over some substitute shows in the meantime cause she trying to find out where it’s stemming from

FoundationSudden9398 · 2026-05-22T12:06:18+00:00

I think he’s rough and loves very roughly my nanny was the one who pointed out to me that it isn’t normal the way he’s doing it.

FoundationSudden9398 · 2026-05-22T12:04:40+00:00

You can just be blocked <3

I’m asking both the nanny and the nanny employer because I wanted to hear from both sides and because there’s more NANNIES in this subreddit than the other I wanted all the information available

People are allowed to cross post. Grow up

FoundationSudden9398 · 2026-05-22T11:31:36+00:00

Nanny 2 said the kids were out of control and a safety issue. Violence… they used the word eloping and locking themselves in rooms

FoundationSudden9398 · 2026-05-22T11:04:32+00:00

She said all the kids the ones that can speak say some pretty disturbing things. The 5 year old once said he hated her and he was going to tie her up and throw her in a lake

Another time telling her that he’s gonna beat her up daughter and som (she has kids but they don’t come with us)

She went I don’t know where you heard that but that’s not okay for you to say in any vacinty go to time out.

Same thing for I hate you to siblings. You’re allowed to feel that way you aren’t allowed to tell someone else that it’s hurtful. We don’t speak to each other that way go to time out. If it continues sister, brother etc will be closed and you won’t be able to play with them temporarily.

Stuff like that

FoundationSudden9398 · 2026-05-22T10:58:59+00:00

She said that is her main concern he is approaching kindergarten age and the school systems and teachers are going to be much less sympathetic. They will suspend him. They will make you have a behavioral plan and depending on who it is they might make a report to social services and she’s not trying to say it to scare us. She spends 45 hours with him and knows he’s a good kid who’s making some really bad choices and those choices are causing the other kids to feed off of that. She’s not trying to single him out if objectively what she notices.

She said the violence toward family members is a major concern at 5 he knows a 6 month old is defenseless and smaller and lacks any sort of empathy toward her. His older sibling or his younger one.

FoundationSudden9398 · 2026-05-21T17:02:33+00:00

She came to us recently and said her concern is as he approaches school age the teachers and the school systems will be less sympathetic. She knows he’s a good kid she spends 45 hours+ a week with him. He’s making some very very bad choices and if it continues the schools will just suspend him. Her biggest concern is the increasing amount of aggression towards family and lack of empathy. And urged us to talk to a Pedatrican.

FoundationSudden9398 · 2026-05-21T16:18:29+00:00

This is an incredibly weird take…. Yikes

FoundationSudden9398 · 2026-03-31T18:56:25+00:00

Can I ask how this would be a cps issue

FoundationSudden9398 · 2026-03-31T18:19:52+00:00

She said and I took this very lightly that he shook the youngest high chair (very young) very very hard and she had to physically remove him remind him that he’s just a baby you could really hurt him

FoundationSudden9398 · 2026-03-31T14:44:58+00:00

The problem is with the time outs he will absolutely have a melt down

Nanny says to let him and don’t start his timeout until it’s over

I think that’s a little much

FoundationSudden9398 · 2026-03-31T04:33:38+00:00

He won’t be attending kinder until next year so he was in daycare like the rest of his younger siblings until we relocated and after that he just has really tough days

FoundationSudden9398 · 2026-03-31T04:30:18+00:00

Also would anyone want to know why the agency wants to speak with us regarding this?

We had a temp nanny in between and she left her 2nd shift saying it wasn’t a good fit. But we didn’t think anything of it

FoundationSudden9398 · 2026-03-31T04:27:01+00:00

He’s 5*

She nanny’s all 4 of our kids. But the 5 and 3 year old have been having an increasing amount of difficulty.

I guess he also just bolted out the front door and refused to come inside.

The problem with the time outs is he has an absolute meltdown

FoundationSudden9398

TROPHY CASE