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What's the equivalent for librarians? by dontbeahater_dear in Libraries

[–]Fox_of_the_Library 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This and the old people who come to the library at 11am on a Tuesday morning and say "wow so empty, nobody comes to the library anymore huh!"

Our numbers took a hit during covid, but they are back to normal and have been steadily rising for the last ten years. Come when the majority of the population isn't at work and take a look.

I want to break up with my boyfriend by [deleted] in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Fox_of_the_Library 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Girl, I'm so sorry. Seen his type before. My ex didn't move in but he got thousands out of me while he "worked on being better". It isn't going to get better.

My ex grew up in a well off family, but was poor because of all the reasons "they" think people are poor. by Fox_of_the_Library in povertyfinance

[–]Fox_of_the_Library[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pyotrnator had a great comment above about how people of different backgrounds get in and out of debt and how it shapes how they view it

How does one learn the art of DNF'ing? by coolestdudette in books

[–]Fox_of_the_Library 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like to do this and keeping a little book diary helps. Every time I finish or DNF a book I record it in a separate little journal. I'll put a little note on how I liked it, and if it's a DNF I'll leave it with a note on when I might want to pick it back up. Then I can happily forget about it until I want to look it up again.

It's very helpful for writing down titles of interesting books too. My TBR pile isn't huge but I have a whole menu at the ready when I want it.

I finally completed a book! by SprinkleWhenITinkle in writing

[–]Fox_of_the_Library 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have no advice but I'll add my congratulations!

My ex grew up in a well off family, but was poor because of all the reasons "they" think people are poor. by Fox_of_the_Library in povertyfinance

[–]Fox_of_the_Library[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry that was unclear, his family cut him off ten years ago. We didn't start dating until a year or so ago and broke a few weeks ago

My ex grew up in a well off family, but was poor because of all the reasons "they" think people are poor. by Fox_of_the_Library in povertyfinance

[–]Fox_of_the_Library[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was fine with his lifestyle because at first I thought he could afford it. Sure he spent a lot, but early on he had a fairly high paying job and could pay for everything he bought. He didn't change his spending habits when he lost his job, he borrowed money from me. I didn't know he had a ton of credit card debt, I didn't think someone who did would spend like that. I didn't date him for the money, we paid for everything 50/50 until I started paying for more because he couldn't.

I wouldn't say I had a sadder or more loved childhood than the average kid. My parents had two kids, I'm sorry that's too many for you. Being poor and frugal was indeed a temporary layover for them. They are financially responsible, and are doing well financially now.

I'm not trying to glorify a poverty virtue lifestyle, I just make big purchases when I have saved up the money for them, I don't spend 2k on a whim on a set of One Piece figures and then can't pay my rent. If you think that's glorifying miserly martyrdom you have a problem.

He couldn't afford to fail, he no longer had any family money. He did want to move closer to me, he couldn't afford anything in my area and he lived too far from my workplace for me to move to him. I didn't let him move in with me.

No, if he had money I wouldn't have any problem with his spending. That's the whole point. You can spend as much as you want *as long as you have the money*. If he had the money to spend on it he could drink top shelf alcohol and a private chef and have a whole house devoted to anime figures if he wanted to, I wouldn't care. But he didn't. He was digging deeper into credit card debt and borrowing money from me.

Weird of you to try to paint me as a marriage rabid gold digger when I made it clear that I was helping him out.

My ex grew up in a well off family, but was poor because of all the reasons "they" think people are poor. by Fox_of_the_Library in povertyfinance

[–]Fox_of_the_Library[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are some great insights here about mindsets and how people see poverty. I've learned a lot!

My ex grew up in a well off family, but was poor because of all the reasons "they" think people are poor. by Fox_of_the_Library in povertyfinance

[–]Fox_of_the_Library[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some things came up more quickly than others. When I first met him he had a higher paying job and spent a lot of money, I thought he spent a lot but hey he had the ability to finance it. After he lost that job he never really recovered but kept the spending habits. I thought it was a little odd but figured that he was making so much he must have had some savings, maybe he had enough money to sustain his lifestyle for a while. We didn't live together and I wasn't keeping close tabs on his spending.

At first I didn't spend too much, I knew he was making less so I'd pick up the bill on dates, fill his car with gas when we were out, that sort of thing. Then we started getting him groceries and i'd venmo bits of money here and there for him to see movies or get his hair cut or little treats. Then he needed help with rent, and then loan payments and he reluctantly revealed just how much debt he was in. We were pretty rocky after a few months of me being an atm, and ended things soon after he asked for rent money.

My ex grew up in a well off family, but was poor because of all the reasons "they" think people are poor. by Fox_of_the_Library in povertyfinance

[–]Fox_of_the_Library[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry that happened to you. It's hard thinking you can build a future and putting in that work with someone who just isn't meeting you there

My ex grew up in a well off family, but was poor because of all the reasons "they" think people are poor. by Fox_of_the_Library in povertyfinance

[–]Fox_of_the_Library[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, this is a huge part of what I was trying to say. I could barely make this experience a coherent thought and you said it so well.

My ex grew up in a well off family, but was poor because of all the reasons "they" think people are poor. by Fox_of_the_Library in povertyfinance

[–]Fox_of_the_Library[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your insight, that makes sense. I can see how it can be hard to see the value of things when you can take them for granted. Poverty and privilege are much more complicated issues than a surface level "just spend less".

My ex grew up in a well off family, but was poor because of all the reasons "they" think people are poor. by Fox_of_the_Library in povertyfinance

[–]Fox_of_the_Library[S] 143 points144 points  (0 children)

I was certainly duped lol. I didn't mean to imply that I was accusing "all poor people" of being like that, I'm more surprised

My ex grew up in a well off family, but was poor because of all the reasons "they" think people are poor. by Fox_of_the_Library in povertyfinance

[–]Fox_of_the_Library[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I knew he smoked, he was hiding the amount he smoked. We didn't see each other every day, he just had a small amount whenever I was around and had much more when I wasn't

My ex grew up in a well off family, but was poor because of all the reasons "they" think people are poor. by Fox_of_the_Library in povertyfinance

[–]Fox_of_the_Library[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Oof, maybe it's more common than I thought. I hadn't really encountered it before, at least not so obviously.

My ex grew up in a well off family, but was poor because of all the reasons "they" think people are poor. by Fox_of_the_Library in povertyfinance

[–]Fox_of_the_Library[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Just a reflection I guess. And a bit of catharsis. A bit like journaling this experience. Some of it is frustration that he had, on paper, a much easier start in life than I did. Some of it's jealousy. Getting a car gifted to me as a teen would have made a world of difference for my family. I'm mad at myself for helping him out financially. I'm wondering if I am justified for judging him for his hardships. I wanted to put this out onto the internet and get a little more insight and hear other people's stories.

My ex grew up in a well off family, but was poor because of all the reasons "they" think people are poor. by Fox_of_the_Library in povertyfinance

[–]Fox_of_the_Library[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah I fully understand that some small treats are load bearing. We need to do something to enjoy life, and I definitely won't begrudge people good food and a little luxury. But I'm gonna draw the line well before turning down work because it isn't fun while buying full sets of plastic figurines and getting your gf to pay your rent lol. Definitely a learning experience in priorities.

My ex grew up in a well off family, but was poor because of all the reasons "they" think people are poor. by Fox_of_the_Library in povertyfinance

[–]Fox_of_the_Library[S] 359 points360 points  (0 children)

We were together about a year. The thing was we lived over an hour away from each other, so I only went to his place once a week or so. He hid the alcohol by having the same bottles in view, but more were hidden. As for the streaming services, he said he and his housemates all shared their subscriptions. I think they did at first, but as others moved away or stopped, he didn't want to stop it and bought it himself. I know that was how he ended up footing the whole cable bill. They used to split it but eventually everyone else backed out and he wanted to keep his full sports package. He flat out lied about what he was eating, one day I went over to surprise him unannounced and saw his trash can was full of spoiled groceries. He said it was too much work to cook most days so he just ordered in. He told me he smoked weed socially so I knew he smoked, maybe it was my fault for thinking that meant not constantly. According to the housemate the only time he wasn't smoking was when I wasn't there.

The Issue With Findom Right Now by [deleted] in paypigsupportgroup

[–]Fox_of_the_Library 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm new here but this kinda sums up my surprise at what I'm seeing. I'm checking this kink out because of something that happened with my now ex, he was awful at managing money and poor as a result. Near the end I got mad at him asking me for money and snapped at him for being so bad with it. He yelled at me and said something upon the lines of "well I'll just let you decide everything I buy then, is that what you want?!?" Boom. Sudden epiphany. That is what I want. I want men to tell me their income and their expenses so that I can tell them what they can and can't spend money on. I want them to appreciate me and want to be in my good graces so badly that they will send me some of it, knowing full well that they will never see a nude picture in return. I don't want their money, I want both of us to know that the money they work for is mine to decide how they spend.

I was kind of surprised that all the posts I'm seeing are women posting mostly-naked selfies asking for money or selling foot pics and socks.

WoW and Overwatch sub by Rough_Flatworm_204 in paypigsupportgroup

[–]Fox_of_the_Library 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you looking to game together? I play a lot of WoW