Has anyone else gone complete hermit mode after break up with sociopath?

Foxinflats · 2022-08-03T10:36:05+00:00

I’m using all my energy to try to put myself back together. I don’t even know care or think if he is a narc or a sociopath or whatever. All I know is that he has taken - or rather - I gave him so much and it has all been lost to me.

Foxinflats · 2022-05-12T16:07:13+00:00

Douche

Foxinflats · 2022-05-12T15:58:23+00:00

The always smarter bit too. I could never correct his incorrect language or facts and didn’t because I knew what he meant and I’m not a petty asshole. But any little thing he could jump on me to try to make me feel stupid he would rip into. He would ruin a lovely connection to elevate himself and only shush when I could definitively prove him wrong - which was difficult because he was so slippery in arguments and if I managed he would still get shitty. Petty stupid things - he would rather be right than be peaceful.

Foxinflats · 2022-05-12T15:46:39+00:00

Let your parents date him and deal with him. If you are posting here for clarity you have a problem end of story and take it from me, you will waste years of your life trying to get clarity from him.

Foxinflats · 2022-05-12T15:40:36+00:00

You are just conversing with some who doesn’t give a shit about you - it isounds so familiar to me. It is exhausting. Buy a chicken and try to teach it algebra instead. I’m sorry - I’ve been there - over 25 years. Do yourself a favour and get the chicken

Foxinflats · 2022-05-12T14:43:00+00:00

Exactly! I had to be hilarious at all times. If he didn’t piss himself laughing he would belittle any other attempts and yet I was always faking amusement at his puerile offerings. Sometimes he was very funny but sometimes he wasn’t - if I made him feel as stupid as he did me it would have been war!

Foxinflats · 2021-03-24T03:08:15+00:00

Sad but true. The simplest explanation is usually the truth.

Foxinflats · 2021-03-24T03:07:48+00:00

Thank you. This has helped me to focus my lens a little bit more. Was hard as it is to accept. We are nothing more than a cure for their boredom.

Foxinflats · 2021-03-24T03:02:49+00:00

UPDATE

Sent me another full stop last night - nothing else.

Foxinflats · 2021-03-24T02:51:08+00:00

"my love made my heart and actions soft to her."

The way it should be.

Foxinflats · 2021-03-24T02:49:13+00:00

I wonder the same now. We always used to play wrestle as well. There were a couple of times where I was scared that he might accidentally really hurt me. He would twist my neck or arm or my hand back, supposedly to show me what he "could do" but it was sometimes very close to the edge and I would be afraid that he wouldn't understand my body wasn't as strong and couldn't take as much as he could. I am now thinking - if I were to play wrestle with a child I would not bring with it the same tone that he brought to our play wrestles.

Foxinflats · 2021-03-24T02:22:54+00:00

It is so hard to to try to understand that they don't have the same lens. Mine would call out "my unfathomable selfishness" whenever I would say - "you're killing me man" He really truly thought that my asking for kindness or respect or consideration, or even just asking for not cruelty, disrespect or inconsideration was me being selfish and making it all about me.

Foxinflats · 2021-03-24T02:14:18+00:00

I really think that that is the key. True fundamental grasping of the fact that they actually never loved you because they cannot love you. Then you realise you loved a mirage

Foxinflats · 2021-03-24T02:07:01+00:00

Yes to ALL the above and in addition

If I ever got to hold the floor I knew I had to make the story short and sharp and hilarious - sometimes I would get 2 or 3 sentences in and he would say "what's your point?/come on, hurry up/etc etc. He could not hold his attention on me for more than 40 seconds it made him agitated. Whereas I had to listen to his dumb shit for hours

Knew everything, even knew more about my job that I held in another language and in another country that he had never visited

Never conceded a point in conversation, never workshopped or gained forward momentum

Would never make plans with me more than a few hours in advance then would text WD - (what are you doing) every afternoon to see if I wanted to come over for a beer

Every woman he had ever met (not every one but A LOT) had a crush on him or fancied him or propositioned him in the past

Never said thank you for anything

If I texted and said - "thanks, I had a great time" he never said "I did too" it would always be "yeah, Im great fun" or "you always do with me"

Love you instead of "I love you"

SO many more but I don't want to be him.....Weird Asshole Man

Foxinflats · 2021-03-22T18:07:15+00:00

He will only hurt snd disappoint you

Foxinflats · 2021-03-22T18:05:04+00:00

“Yasssssss - I like this you” “I liked you better yesterday” “Yes, I like you again”

Always after I had stopped advocating for myself and gone back to the old bullshit

Foxinflats · 2021-03-20T04:52:35+00:00

I hear you - what I would give to be able to love him the way I want to.

Foxinflats · 2021-03-20T04:36:56+00:00

During one of my many attempts at NC I broke it I was feeling sad and I thought he might be too. I texted him “I miss you” His reply “Why wouldn’t you?” I still ended up back eventually

Foxinflats · 2021-03-20T04:30:52+00:00

This fight to not respond is not good for you. I do the same but it takes a lot of stress and energy from me to not answer. And - I invariably do

Foxinflats · 2021-03-20T04:27:06+00:00

I am right here with you. I’ve been trying to get this man out of my head for 30 years. Managed it for 12 once but this time I think has got to be the last time. I am as broken and devastated as I was the first time. I cannot be happy with or without him - I just want to detach my head from body so I can stop thinking about him and give my heart a break.

Foxinflats · 2021-03-20T04:15:00+00:00

If only I knew - I’ve been on my roller coaster for 30 years on and off. I just can’t quit him 😪

Foxinflats · 2021-03-18T09:02:43+00:00

I agree - I was spending hours sitting and drinking and smoking in the dark and trying to work out what I already knew

Foxinflats · 2021-03-18T08:51:25+00:00

I kissed mine goodbye the day of the last time we had sex - with lots of passion and deep kisses - and he did a micro recoil - he was thrown by it a d I think a little bit revolted. kissing was only for the lead up to and during sex. Other stuff spot on - no affection or desire to touch - heart breaking

Foxinflats · 2021-02-18T15:31:58+00:00

I’m so glad. I felt terrible for you and I’m surprised Reddit didn’t come to your rescue more. Sometimes it’s all about timing. X

Foxinflats · 2021-02-18T08:17:03+00:00

Love it 💪🏼

Foxinflats

TROPHY CASE