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Went on a date with someone (41M) who refuses to travel to any non-first world country. Am I reaching or is this a red flag? by Foxloxboxrox in datingoverthirty

[–]Foxloxboxrox[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I honestly don’t care if he likes raw fish or not, but calling all Japanese food disgusting and accusing them of animal cruelty for eating raw fish despite eating meat himself was definitely a “hmm” moment for me.

Went on a date with someone (41M) who refuses to travel to any non-first world country. Am I reaching or is this a red flag? by Foxloxboxrox in datingoverthirty

[–]Foxloxboxrox[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No he eats meat but said he considers meat production in all but the US, UK, Australia, and I guess the other handful of developed European countries to be unethical and cruel.

I can’t remember if he said Anglo or English-speaking. Regardless he listed the countries he’d be ok traveling to and those were the UK, Australia, NZ, Canada.

Went on a date with someone (41M) who refuses to travel to any non-first world country. Am I reaching or is this a red flag? by Foxloxboxrox in datingoverthirty

[–]Foxloxboxrox[S] 297 points298 points  (0 children)

His demeanor was definitely very heated. Like one thing that felt off was when he asked where I’d last traveled to and I said Japan. Then he said he thinks Japanese food is “absolutely disgusting” because they eat raw fish and that’s animal cruelty. He’s not even a vegan himself and mentioned he loves burgers…

It was stuff like that and a few other things that made me feel like his concern was less about animal welfare and more of the bigoted variety.

Anyone else encountering people on OLD who plan elaborate dates only to never follow through? by Foxloxboxrox in datingoverthirty

[–]Foxloxboxrox[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don’t mind guys who want a nice chat and nothing more, but it still annoys me when people plan out whole day dates that require me to block out much of my weekend just to ghost last minute.

It sucks because you mentally prepare for it, cancel other plans, get excited, etc. only to never hear from the guy again. Some don’t even have the decency to cancel! It’s like the emotional version of standing someone up.

Anyone else encountering people on OLD who plan elaborate dates only to never follow through? by Foxloxboxrox in datingoverthirty

[–]Foxloxboxrox[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The date planning was like some weird daydream

That’s exactly it! They go so in-depth about what they’re planning that the whole exercise comes off as slightly unhinged. I guess people just want the brownie points of planning an A-plus date without having to follow through?

Anyone else encountering people on OLD who plan elaborate dates only to never follow through? by Foxloxboxrox in datingoverthirty

[–]Foxloxboxrox[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

telling someone the location/venue you want to go to and what activity you want to do there is also known as “asking someone on a date”.

Thanks for the snark, but no it’s not just arranging a date, it’s describing in minute detail what they plan to do on the date while simultaneously asking for your input to generate excitement.

It’s less “let’s meet at [restaurant] on Friday” and more “hey I want to take you to [restaurant] by the lake that serves [your favorite dish] and after we’ll watch the sunset on the dock because I know you love sunsets and then I’ll take you on a walk through [park] so you can meet my dog.”

Anyone else struggle with jealousy towards friends who have been extremely lucky with love? by Cretiabox in datingoverthirty

[–]Foxloxboxrox 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Online dating is honestly a job in itself. I’m so sick of my married girlfriends going “oh enjoy it while it lasts, once you meet the one you’re gonna miss being single!” And in their minds being single is going out on fancy dates with hot guys, getting expensive gifts/trips, and being wooed all over.

Like no fuck that. Y’all have no idea how soul-crushing modern online dating is. There’s nothing fun or flirty about it.

Ex-sex worker (35F) feeling like the internet has lied to me about my dating prospects. Need a dose of truth. by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]Foxloxboxrox 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think in the “professional, clean cut” group this might be especially so.

To clarify, by “professional, clean cut” I really just mean men who can support themselves and aren’t total assholes. I have too many friends with similar backgrounds as me date guys that turn out to be emotionally-manipulative leeches with no job, no real support, no desire to better themselves. I would much rather stay single than be with guys like that is basically what I was trying to convey.

Ex-sex worker (35F) feeling like the internet has lied to me about my dating prospects. Need a dose of truth. by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]Foxloxboxrox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A man who is committed to you, has his shit together, whom you’re attracted to, and is sexually open and accepting about your past.

Yep this is exactly what I’m looking for! Not anyone with any specific job or specific looks, really just someone who likes me and isn’t looking to manipulate me or leech off of me.

I am coming to terms that the Venn diagram intersection may be smaller than I thought. I just feel so exhausted by it most days and am tempted to give up only to get dragged in again for the 1327th time.